I just want to put the world on notice. The next time you open the door and see a JW standing there with a Watchtower about Armageddon and an Awake about butterflies DON’T TURN HIM AWAY!!! DO NOT SAY “I’M NOT INTERESTED”. This is a life or death situation!! You see as Jehovah’s Witnesses believe (and we all know they and only they have “the truth”) their preaching activity is fulfilling a work Jesus, or is it Jehovah, set forth to warn the world of it’s impending doom. Anyone who does not receive this message from a complete stranger standing on their doorstep at 10:00am on a Saturday morning and then swiftly and surely convert their faith to that of the JW will be destroyed violently by our Loving God Jehovah. You see this is the same method Jesus and his disciples employed to convert the Jews and Romans to Christianity in the first century. And while JW’s and their evangelical targets don’t have the luxary of doorstep miracles and a first person eyewitness of our lord and savior Jesus Christ (or is it Jehovah) that should not be an issue. A person on your door in a cheap suit with a fake leather satchel waving magazines about impending doom and tiger lilies should be just as convincing. Therefore you must, with out second thought, receive their message with all your human power and convert your beliefs, discard your immoral ways, leave your un-believing family behind and attend 5 hours of meetings a week, 3 assembly days and 1 weekend long convention a year lest you be lovingly killed at the hand of Jehovah God Almighty. Sounds reasonable right?
WORLD!!!! Please take notice!!!!
by lost_light06 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Mastodon
LOL! Good post. Welcome to the board Lost Light!
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BizzyBee
I liked the bit about the tiger lilies.................
Seriously, why doesn't the WTS just take out a newspaper ad or do some radio and TV spots, direct mail, or even an Al Gore-type movie giving notice to the entire planet? It would save gas and dub shoe-leather. Too easy?
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daniel-p
Enjoyed your post, lost_light, and welcome to the board. I like your sense of humor ;)
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Dr Jekyll
Don't read his post , hes counting everyone that reads it as "time" for this months hours!
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under_believer
Why are we welcoming a guy with 69 posts to the board?
Great post, BTW. I could read it over and over again all day. -
lost_light06
ARRGHHH Dr. Jekyll!!!! You figured out my evil (yet rightous) plan!!!!
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Dr Jekyll
Why are we welcoming a guy with 69 posts to the board?
I'd rather welcome someone with 69 posts than some newbie who posts once gets two dozen welcomes and then is never heard of again.
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BlackSwan of Memphis
LIFE OR DEATH!?!?!?!?!?
Holy Mary Mother of God! Why didn't anyone tell me?!
I'm so back at the Kingdom Hall this Sunday. I'm sold.
Welcome to the board. Good, no wait, scratch that, great post. That got me in stitches (which is why I need the new world to heal me)
BSoM
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KW13
lol, nice post. Welcome to JWD