hi ,
AM GLAD YOU BROKE UP WITH YOUR BF, IT DOES NOT PAY TO DATE THOSE WHO DO NOT SEVRE JEHOVAH ,COS THERE ARE LOT OF PRATICES WHICH THEY WILL WANT TO DO, SAFE YOUR SELF THE PAIN, WHEN IT IS TIME YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE IN THE TRUTH . BYE
focus on being a Jehovah witness???
by Jade221 20 Replies latest social relationships
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garybuss
"sex . . . was not an option with us . . . "
I might have found two reasons to break up. -
jgnat
Did you get my PM jade? I explained a lot there, I hope. I would hate for you to short-circuit your growth as a young woman because of your deep caring for this young man. Respect his decision to move on, as hard as that is to hear. In the meantime, I would love it if you went on a personal spiritual journey. Not to the Witnesses to keep your young man, but a personal deep introspection on if you believe in God, and how you want to live your life. The www.alpha.org course is short, fun, and non-judgemental. I suggest you try it out.
Did you read blujay's post? This is a very typical prejudice of a practicing JW. They assume anyone who is not JW is immoral. You don't want to spend years of your dating and married life viewed as corrupt and immoral. You don't.
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sistab_b
I read a few of the posts prior to mine and found some of the responses really interesting. I see ex-JW's posting here and others trying their best to give you advice. Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses is a choice. I don't know if your boyfriend was raised in the truth. I was not. I was a single mother 20 years old when I came into the truth. My daughter at that time was 20 months old. She is now 19 years old. I don't really have an opinion about being married one way or another. As a single woman I learned to survive on my own. I went out and got my education and am working a job I really love (IT trainer/Project Manager)
I can tell you at 38 years of age I have met some men, both witnesses and non-witnesses that I have had feelings for. Most recently a man that I cared very deeply for that I worked with. I truly believe at some point he had feelings for me too. I did us both a favor. I chose a long time ago not only to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses, but to remain one too. I couldn't ask him to change his life in order to be with me. I also would not have wanted him to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses to satisfy me. That is a personal decision that an individual has to make for the right reasons, not in order to be in a relationship, which truly is the wrong reason.
Now I know a lot of people think we are a cult and I am not here to argue with them. Personally I have learned to live a happy life without worrying about the opinions of others. I am educated and I consider myself a well rounded person. I was a Witness almost 10 years before getting my Bachelors degree. I have had a lot of exposures to different things in life and I am convinced that my lifestyle is no less rewarding than anyone else's out there that has a different option....but what I will tell you is that your boyfriend should have made a better decision and not started dating you in order to save both of you a lot of pain, especially if your in love with each other. Love is a difficult subject. You have to ask yourself not if you can live with that person, but if you can live without that person...and if you can't...then it is better to marry than to be inflamed with passion.
If you love him simply ending the relationship is not going to be easy. We can all tell you, your better off but we are not in your shoes. I have been in your shoes, but I made a different choice than did your boyfriend not to get involved with someone who was not a witness. If the two of you do reconcile...remain chase and not commit fornication. If the two of you do decide to marry, make the choice to start a study of the bibile. Find out what Jehovah's Witnesses believe, pray sincerely to God Jehovah and ask yourself if you can live our lifestyle. In some ways it is already too late to go back and change this. If your boyfriend has cut ties with you for good and asked you not to contact him.....follow his wished. If your strong enough to walk away from the relationship then try. If not then ask God how to help you cope...don't listen to Witness bashers...find out for yourself what we believe. Do what I did. When I first started studying with Jehovah's Witnesses. I used my own bible. The one I got when I was baptised in the Baptist church at the age of 12 (King James). Use your own bible before you start to accept any other literature from anyone else.
You will see very soon after studying that the biggest different between the King James Version and the New World Translation is the era in which both were written. One is 14 century...kinda Shapespearean the other 20th Century.....I came to the conclusion after studying with JW's that they were one religion that not only really read and studied the bible, but that they were a religion that actually practiced what was in "MY" bible...so I decided I wanted to be a part of this religion and 15 years later I have no regrets. Take care!
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greendawn
Whatever the case it saved you a lot of trouble not getting involved with the JWs because they are a destructive cult that put intense emotional pressure on their members to do what they want.
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Worldly
I feel very sad for your situation, as I was once a close friend (in my mind anyway) of a JW who ended our friendship in a similarly abrupt way. I still wish that he was in my life, but as long as he has those beliefs, it will likely never happen, and if it did, it would likely not be a good friendship for me to have, as those beliefs would eventually cause him to hurt me again, even if unintentionally. Try to focus on your other friends and family. If need be, talk to a counsellor about your hurt and confusion. There are a lot of good relationship books out there that can help you to understand what you're going through. In my opinion, the JW use a form of mind control on their believers, so I would advise you to listen to most of the ex-JW people in this forum and stay away from the cult itself.
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In Between
Sorry to hear about your story ... but to be honest, much like the other responses you've recieved here, being in a 'mixed' relationship will not work. I know, because I once was a J.W. but have since 'faded' away while my wife is still somewhat involved . Since I am no longer active in the faith, slowly but surely, the gap has widen in our marriage. You have to have a strong common thread to make any relationship work. And even though we still have feelings for each other, we have had several conversations as of late, and would not be surprised if we seperated in the near future. We are just headed down different paths now.
By not continuing this relationship, you'll never have to worry about getting to that point yourself. -
fl native
Hi Jade!
I'm not a JW either, but I'm currently in a relationship with one. You can check out my story in beliefs, doc and practices. Mine is a bit more complicated. I know the love you feel for your man but listen to the other JW posts and leave while you still can. The religion always comes 1st. They have like 3-4 days/week that they do spiritual stuff. Forget holidays and voting. They go out the door. Let me leave you with one last thing that I told my JW guy- I told him-You can always get another religion, but you'll never find another me. As of today, he still has both. Keep us posted & May God bless you in whatever you decide to do.
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LouiseAlly
Hi Jade,
My name is Alison and i know exactly what you are going through my situation is very much similar to yours. i hope i can give you advice that can help .....I am 21 years old and my ex boyfriend is 25 years old .When we meet he was baptized as a Jehovah Witness but did not practice it. During that time it was all about us and what we were going to do to better our life as partners and individuals. Little by little the thought of both our religion were always coming up . We were not sure how we would raise a family when we both were taught differently. At this point it was complicating for us to be strong with the relationship and our love for each other was just so strong. He was the man i wanted to marry and the person i did see myself with , his feelings were the same but what was playing back and fourth in his head is that i was not a Jehovah Witness, i was raised as a catholic and attended a catholic school for 13years of my life. The Catholics religion did not answers all my question that i would as about God. I knew alot but did not know why i had to practice the traditions my religion. i just did it because it was what i was taught since a little girl. When i was with my bf he would constantly tell me to have studies with his mom but i was not ready ...after that i told his mom that i would take studies but i did it for the wrong reasons... i found that i was just doing it to please both of them even though i was really interested in what she was teaching.. Like i said and told him i was not ready and he wasnt either.. After some time about 1 year he told me he needed something in his life but i did not understand what he meant until he said he needed Jehovah in this life. My first reaction was, "who is Jehovah?" i was confused. All my life i did not know Gods name. i understood and i had told him i was behind him 100% but it was not all he wanted, My bf wanted me to get into being a witness as well. That was a point in my life in which i was not sure what to do . i could either follow his path because i did not have a strong religion of my own or tell him he is asking for too much and walk away from the love we had shared together. i did not know what to do i had no one to understand my feelings and pain i was going through. 1 year and 3months had passed which we broke up and now its been about 3month in which can not stop thinking what a great relationship we had and how grateful i am to have meet and been with such a good guy. Throughout those 3 months of break i had faith and expectation that we were going to be together and live happily ever after with a beautiful family we were so anxious about having. That man made me the happiest i have ever been in my life. We would talk but not as much because he couldn’t ……I feel like his elders did not approve of me and did such a job in influencing him to move on….. I was ok with him going back but he was just not allowed to see me or talk but I had no closure , he didn’t want to tell me he couldn’t see or talk to me again because they said I was in the past……he ended up meeting other brothers and sisters which in just a few days ago i had found out that he has moved on by speaking with other girls in his congregation which made me very upset to think that such a strong thing like religion can influence some ones way of thinking.. he is now talking to a Jehovah witness to get to know which make me crazy to think he can move on so fast and just say that he does not see us in the future anymore…… I know its because I was not a Jehovah witness and now I guess that girl has more privilege because she found out the truth b4 me…I am very much heart broken and still in love .. now im just focus in school and in getting closer to Jehovah …. I have been studying for about 3months and I love it … I was just too late!....
.....I hope who ever hears my story can find some positive advice of comments i can take constructive criticism as well.
i have the hole story in my page but i think its important in know everything b4 giving a valid opinion on things.. Thanks and good look!!!.. -
thepackage
Jade and LousieAlly, I became a JW so I could marry my ex-wife. I understand your situation. I went through the emotional highs and lows before I became a JW. However because a JW was the worst decision I made. If someone wants to be a JW do it for yourself and not for anybody. Being a JW and realizing it's not the "truth" will be devistating and much more if you do it just to get married. Don't do it.