Could You Forgive the Watchtower? (page 3)

daystar

sbf

Please see my "Some apostates are more equal that others" thread.

Way to self-promote!

Again, those raised in are not "more equal". But there is a significant difference in how the programming affects the individual. The person who grows to adulthood outside of the Organization, joins, and then later leaves, has a Self prior to the programming that they may return to or at least refer to. Those of us programmed from birth or from a very early age, do not have any Self created prior to the programming. It makes for a very different experience, by numerous degrees.

sf

For me, forgiveness is not an easy task. It's the dynamics of it.

If the WTBTS were to ever be truly sorry for the damage and lives lost due to years of misrepresentations, corrupt policies and fabricated doctrine and compensated its victims and survivors of their abuse by paying for any and all damages, including therapy, plus pain and suffering and promised to close its doors forever...

True forgivesness may not be so hard to achieve.

Yet, to continue the incredible insanity, the "we speak for jehovah" crap, that continues to kill its most innocent members and continue on with its preaching message of how false the world is and we are the true religion, but "hello, we are at your door today because we truly care about your life,...blah blah....if you don't actively seek to be a baptized jw, jehovah will kill you at armageddon, that is coming...soon"...

How do you even imagine forgiving such? This is where it isn't even ABOUT forgiveness. It isn't even about YOU anymore.

It's about stoping the insanity and knowing you did the best you could to do just that.

THEN it's about forgiveness. But only for mySELF.

sKally

Finally-Free

For the sake of my own health and sanity I have forgiven them, but I still reserve the right to bitch about my experiences any time I please.

W

Ms. Whip

This is a new concept to me as well. If you had asked me yesterday or the day before if I could forgive the Watchtower for my tragically wasted life, I would have said "hell no!" and meant it.

For many years I have been lugging around some over-stuffed, unattractive, painfully heavy baggage. Every time something negative would happen in my life I would grab it and put it into my overloaded/distorted bag. Whenever anyone crossed my path...I'd rip my baggage open, pour it all over the floor and point "Look, just look, look at all this shit I have gone through...look what they did to me!" Then I'd pick it all up again (in tears) and repeat the same action again, and again, and again.

Every time I open that suitcase, I am allowing the Watchtower to hurt me over and over again. It has made me physically sick. I know my immune system is weakened. I know my emotions and mental state are suffering.

Whether you agree or not, doctors/people are finding out that there is a link between harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, fear, resentment and physical disease.

Forgiving the Watchtower does not mean that I condone their actions (past or current), it does not mean that I approve of them, it does not mean that I will forget the harm they have caused (or are causing) me, you and thousands of others.

I forgive them so that they cannot continue to abuse me (us).

I do not forgive their failed prophecies. I do not forgive that they let thousands of people die because of their erroneous blood transfusion rules. I do not forgive their destroying thousands of lives and families because of their unloving and inhumane shunning rules. I do not forgive, nor forget these things.

I do forgive the old, withered men who perpetuated all of these painful lies on millions of people. I forgive the mislead, yet sincere elders who thought they were doing the right thing for God. I forgive the self-righteous witnesses who imposed their narrow-minded consciences on me. I forgive these sinful people. I forgive them so that I may take back my life, so I may become empowered to change my own life for the better. I forgive them so that they no longer have the ability to hurt me.

I know the majority here are not ready to forgive and release the hurt.

I'm just tired of carrying all that crap with me. Being a witness is all I have known. I was born and raised, I had no choice. I don't know what the future holds and how much I truly can forgive. All I know is it is doing me more harm than good to carry this anger/resentment with me. Of course I can never forget. Everyday will be a challenge to keep forgiving.

Sparkplug

This is a new concept to me as well. If you had asked me yesterday or the day before if I could forgive the Watchtower for my tragically wasted life, I would have said "hell no!" and meant it.
For many years I have been lugging around some over-stuffed, unattractive, painfully heavy baggage. Every time something negative would happen in my life I would grab it and put it into my overloaded/distorted bag. Whenever anyone crossed my path...I'd rip my baggage open, pour it all over the floor and point "Look, just look, look at all this shit I have gone through...look what they did to me!" Then I'd pick it all up again (in tears) and repeat the same action again, and again, and again.
Every time I open that suitcase, I am allowing the Watchtower to hurt me over and over again. It has made me physically sick. I know my immune system is weakened. I know my emotions and mental state are suffering.
Whether you agree or not, doctors/people are finding out that there is a link between harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, fear, resentment and physical disease.
Forgiving the Watchtower does not mean that I condone their actions (past or current), it does not mean that I approve of them, it does not mean that I will forget the harm they have caused (or are causing) me, you and thousands of others.
I forgive them so that they cannot continue to abuse me (us).
I do not forgive their failed prophecies. I do not forgive that they let thousands of people die because of their erroneous blood transfusion rules. I do not forgive their destroying thousands of lives and families because of their unloving and inhumane shunning rules. I do not forgive, nor forget these things.
I do forgive the old, withered men who perpetuated all of these painful lies on millions of people. I forgive the mislead, yet sincere elders who thought they were doing the right thing for God. I forgive the self-righteous witnesses who imposed their narrow-minded consciences on me. I forgive these sinful people. I forgive them so that I may take back my life, so I may become empowered to change my own life for the better. I forgive them so that they no longer have the ability to hurt me.
I know the majority here are not ready to forgive and release the hurt.
I'm just tired of carrying all that crap with me. Being a witness is all I have known. I was born and raised, I had no choice. I don't know what the future holds and how much I truly can forgive. All I know is it is doing me more harm than good to carry this anger/resentment with me. Of course I can never forget. Everyday will be a challenge to keep forgiving.

Oh but as My gal, Alanis Morissette sings...How 'bout how good it feels to finally forgive you...?

Yes it does feel good. But for many there needs to be a separation made between forgiving but being mindful and forgiving and letting them back into your mind. I think if we hate, or harbour derogatory thoughts it is only still proof that they still have some control over your mind. It is when you can live and let live and go on and enjoy your life that you really have reached true forgiveness. IMO

Don't let them dictate to you again, and try to help your loved ones, but mainly I think the best way to get anyone out is by living.! Live clean, live well and happy. A person outside of the JW's being happy? That is a concept that is often new to them. If we can show compation, and love and help our felow exjw's and be good to all we meet, then those characteristics of our personality will be infectious. Sometimes you don't see results for years, but eventually they do come even if only in small ways. For instance, my JW brother is so proud of me and how far I have come. I still have to deal with his BS, but he is like me and there is never an end to the improvement we can make in our lives. So he pushes me hard.

Robdar

Am I bitter towards the WTBTS? No. Not since my entire family has left. Will I forgive them? Why should I? Believe it or not, some of us can see the truth about the truth and not be depressed or lose sleep over it.

wednesday

you are wrong slimboyfat. They do make our choices. The same way they try to say that young men make their own choice to not join the army or parents make a choice to allow baby to die for lack of blood, and so on, we do not have a choice. We must do what they say or the consequences are they DF/forced DA you and then there goes your family and friends. It is blackmail of the most hateful kind.

and no, they have ruined my life and my famlies and hurt so many others. They have done this without regret. I will not feel sorry for them when their time comes. They will get as they give out.

peacefulpete

Excuse my crassness but its all a bunch of bunk this forgive or not to fogive stuff. I understand the attraction to feel good effusive gushing self therapy, I just feel the real healing comes when you come to terms with just how stupid we humans are. We were lucky our parents weren't approached by a worse cult. The more I become aware of politics and religion the more I'm convinced people are stupid. Its like being mad at the cat for eating baloney rind and puking on the couch. Do you have to forgive the cat or do you just clean up the mess and go, Oh well.

moanzy

I'm really really really trying!!! I think I could if I had all my family out and they were normal. I think it is way past repairable even if all my family figured it out.

Moanzy

Ms. Whip

peacefulpete said:

Excuse my crassness but its all a bunch of bunk this forgive or not to fogive stuff. I understand the attraction to feel good effusive gushing self therapy, I just feel the real healing comes when you come to terms with just how stupid we humans are. We were lucky our parents weren't approached by a worse cult. The more I become aware of politics and religion the more I'm convinced people are stupid. Its like being mad at the cat for eating baloney rind and puking on the couch. Do you have to forgive the cat or do you just clean up the mess and go, Oh well.

lol "Its like being mad at the cat for eating baloney rind and puking on the couch. Do you have to forgive the cat or do you just clean up the mess and go, Oh well." haha that's a great analogy and one i can relate to. (well not me, but my cat) yeah i agree pete, people are stupid. the best response would be to laugh at how stupid jws are and move on. for some (most) people it's hard to move on with daggers stuck into our backs...clear through our hearts. we are walking wounded. as far as "feel good effusive gushing self therapy" (I had to google that term lol) most of us do not have access to a "good friend" to talk to, a skilled counselor, or a religious confidant. our only recourse is "self therapy" a tv show i usually gravitate toward on TLC is "Clean Sweep" where a team of experts invade a Pack Rat's house and make them throw everything away and design new living spaces for them. it's always a lot of emotion when the pack rat is forced to throw/sell/give away trash they've held on to for years. but, in the end they are so happy to have such a nice uncluttered clean space. a fresh start. forgiveness is just a way of throwing away the emotional clutter. the people we forgive will usually have no clue (1. how much they hurt us) (2. that they needed forgiving) & (3. that we forgive them). if you are strong enough and have put all the watchtower crap behind you...and you can clean up the mess yourself and go. that's awesome. i, however, have let myself be "the victim." my emotional life got way out of control. i don't have any team of experts coming in to help me. so, i need the gushy self help stuff to move on.

Could You Forgive the Watchtower?

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