It would have been better if everyone had put on their sunglasses right then!
We had a brother get up one time and give a rambling talk during which he conjectured that we shouldn't go to the beach if single because it causes homosexuality! We all listened spellbound as he went around and around to connect the two premises! I don't remember it all but in short.
1) You go to the beach and see the hot bikini clad girls
2) You go home and fantasise about them
3) You have no release for this except masturbation
4) You build up masturbation toxins in your blood (yep)
5) These toxins lead to mental illness, paranoia schizophrenia etc
6) But MOST troubling (more troubling than schizophrenia???) these toxins lead to unnatural sexual desires!
7) Next time you go to the beach you'll start looking at the "hot young men"
8) Soon if two young brothers live together and go to the beach together regularly they will become homosexual!
I don't know why the old bastard couldn't just get up and say "I'm gay, I'm living a lie, My wife is a frigid old lesbian!" I mean come on out of the closet tom! We all know your living a lie! It was so obvious too! This was years before I faded and we were ALL thinking "wow I didn't know he was gay!" I know we were all thinking it cause when we met all of our friends down at the applebees for Thursday night dinner and drinks we talked about it!