Serious Conditioning/Brainwashing (page 2)

mama1119

As much as I want to forget about it, It still feels very prevelent in my life. I too get freaked out by going to other churches, especially Catholic because it seems we were taught that was the worst of the worst. Birthdays dont bother me becuase my Ma and Pa always secretly celebrated (shhh, dont tell anyone) and even though I do celebrate the rest except halloween now I always feel akward doing do. I have attacks of guilt still lie am I doing the right thing, am I going to be struck down??? Coming on here helps remind me that I wont. My Dad still gets those attacks of what if this is a test and we are failing blah blah but we just remind him of al the research he has done and he lets it go. But we havent been out a real long time so I hope all that fades....does it?????

FreeFromWTBS

Anytime I see witnesses I literally have a panic attack and I only studied with them. Of course I have PTSD from them so that makes a different.

luna2

The first time I met with a group of ladies I'd associated (there's a good JW word ) with online, I was SWAMPED with guilt. During the daytime things were busy enough that I didn't have time to think too hard about what I was doing. I even went inside a church with a group that wanted to see it and didn't collapse with worry that the demons were gonna get me (okay, I was a little worried but I was able to push it aside)

It was at night, sharing a hotel room with them in NYC, that I almost had a panic attack. I even prayed to Jehoober and begged his forgiveness as I lay there in the darkness. Blah, what a goober...but that's what being in a cult for 20 years will do to ya.

PrimateDave

I have now gone without a meeting for a week and a half. Just yesterday, while walking around on lunch break, I stepped into a Catholic Church. There were no services going on. I have no desire to become a Catholic. I just wanted to sit down and look. So, I sat in one of the wooden pews on the front row and looked at the stained glass, the altar, the occasional person coming or going or praying. And, I felt okay. It was no big deal.
Then, later, my boss sneazed, and I didn't say "bless you".
I guess, it's going to be the little things that stick longer than the big conscious decisions.
Dave

mama1119

Dave,

I know what you mean...I have to really talk myself into saying "bless you" or "merry christmas" and just yesterday I was at Wal-Mart shopping for 4th of July gear and hid it under a bunch of other stuff in my cart just in case a witness saw me...keep in mind I have been df'd for 3 years and I am still nervous.

juni

Good topic KW.

I've been out for almost 14 years. Have got passed the fear of JWs seeing me w/something they don't approve of i.e. b/day cards, holiday stuff, etc.

The one thing that still haunts me is the damage caused my kids growing up in the religion. They are all doing very good, but I know it has affected them in different areas. Just like an alcoholic is stunted emotionally as they don't confront their problems but drink to forget, likewise w/JW raised kids. They have to learn things as adults what they would've learned growing up i.e. relationships w/opposite sex and how to have healthy, committed relationships.

Juni

KW13

thanks juni

i am sure your kids will make their lives alright in the end

greendawn

Given time all the entangling psychological complexes created by the JWs can be successfully resolved, time required for this depends on various factors, how long one was a JW, how much help there is from outside and how efficient it is, and how strong the person is.

KW13

how long one was a JW, how much help there is from outside and how efficient it is, and how strong the person is.

True, certainly the person being strong i would say is a result of how bad the org was to them. In some cases it can produce someone hard as a nut and other people who have no confidence at all.

Serious Conditioning/Brainwashing

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