I am, as you will see, a very junior member of this forum. I have so far explained my interest in JWs in my earlier posts, and I have asked what must seem to many here some very naieve questions about JW beliefs and practices. When I raised questions about the young children of my JW neighbours, a post or two implied that I may be a strange old man for taking an interest in children. Another poster confessed to being a little intimidated by the fact that I am a recently retired 30 year police officer. One queried my interest in ex JWs and whether I found them an entertainment. I have no criticsm of those viewpoints whatsoever. In the circumstances, I might wonder the same.
So, I want to explain a little about who/what I am, where I am coming from, and hope that I can continue to ask what may seem to some stupid questions. To be honest, it seems a little self-indulgent to be posting this about ME, and it doesn't come easy. But my life experiences are very different from most posters here - although I can relate in many ways.
I was raised in a non-exclusive Plymouth Brethren sect. Bible fundamentalists (in a UK rather than a US way). My paternal grandfather was a Welsh coal miner who, in the early 1900s was a bare-knuckle prize-fighter (in his spare time, which wasn't much) who became 'born again' - no doubt in one of the 'revivals' in the South Wales valleys - and with a few others built a 'Gospel Hall' (literally - it was corrugated iron) in their mining village. He was an absolute believer in the Bible as literal truth - if the Bible had said that Jonah swallowed a whale he would have believed that without a problem.
My earliest memory of him was when I was about 4 (c. 1960). He was lucky - he had survived until retirement. His much younger brother died in his late 40s of 'the dust' in about 1962. Dadn's house was hung with plaques, e.g. 'Christ is the guest at every meal' etc. He firmly believed that the Italian cafe in the village was the house of the devil because it had a snooker table.
After some pretty hard service in WWII, my father married in 1945. His first wife died in her mid 20s in 1952, leaving him with sons aged 6 and 2 (my elder 'half' brothers). He met my mother through the columns of an evangelical christian magazine ('The Christian Herald') and they soon married. My mother was also a member of the 'Brethren', and had come from a hard and poor childhood. Her mother was an unquestioning fundamentalist believer from a poor family (she entered domestic service at 13), and I can remember her telling me as a very young child of a grave in her home town of a woman whose arms had dropped off because she was knitting on a Sunday. She absolutely believed this.
My over-riding recollection of the Brethren is that they were excellent scholars of the Bible - and only the Bible - but got very caught up in the minutiae of doctrine and didn't really exercise much 'christian love'. The gospel hall was very plain - the only adornment was a painted banner saying 'God is Love', and hymns were largely unaccompanied. In the Sunday morning 'breaking of bread' service, there was no formal agenda or sermon - people would stand and pray, or read a Bible passage, or start a hymn, or say a few words - as they 'felt led'. Anyone who had accepted the 'born again' doctrine - and that they had a 'personal experience' of Jesus as saviour - was welcome to share the bread and wine.
In my early teens, seeking something a bit different, I started attending a pentecostal church. Again, please bear in mind that these may be a little different in UK than US. The doctrines were very similar, based on a 'gnostic' personal experience. Whilst they were a little more formal, it was still absolutely OK - even welcomed - if a member of the (small) congregation stood during a service, even during the pastor's address - to offer a comment or a prayer. I have never ever encountered such 'Christian Love' as I did in that small congregation (about 40 people), and it may say something for them that the first service I wandered into was a memorial service for an old dear aged 80+.
A couple of years later, geographical moves and all, I was attending a Welsh (English language) Baptist Church. (Again, probably different from a US Baptist church). Much less personal commitment than I was used to, a bit like an Anglican (Episcopalian) church without the pomp. But, as a Welshman, loved the singing! (As an aside, on my very limited visits to a KH - 3 - I told them that if they had 100 people in a Welsh chapel singing it would have blown the socks off 100 JWs).
Married young (23) and wife and I started going to an English Baptist church - living in England by now. Very small congregation (about 25) but extremely personally committed. Pastor was what I would call a 'real man of God', and much love and care exhibited to the wider community. I became very keen on studying the Bible, wanted to apply it to all aspects of life, but - the more I studied the less I could accept. Finally got to the stage where I am now - an atheist but with a deep interest in religion, especially those derived from Pauline Christianity, and how that affects so many people.
So, here I am. Although 'an outsider' as far as JWs are concerned, I can appreciate being brought up in, or believing in, a faith. As far as life in general is concerned, as a 30 year police officer, most as a detective and retiring at 'senior rank' (i.e. not senior enough to dictate policy but senior enough to catch the crap) who dealt with murder, child abuse, white collar crime etc. etc. I have seen enough of life's shitty side to prevent me sleeping sometimes - but I can still regard life with wide-eyed wonder and remark on just how 'nice' some people are. I can't get my hair cut too short because the physical scars still show!
That's my story. I hope people will accept it for what it is, and me for who I am. I hope to be able to continue asking naieve questions here and receiving interesting and thought-provoking responses. I can feel (as a human being) for many of the situations I have read here. I can offer little support from an educated point of view, because I've never been a JW. But as a person I can, and do.
Regards.