Do you have nightmares about going back?

by Mysterious 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  TMS

  
  
  Whether or not they are in the nightmare category, my dreams certainly incorporate my entire life experience. I've been retired for almost three years and out of the WT for about ten, but it's hard to erase almost sixty years of life experiences from the memory log.
  

  
  
  My dreams find me in frustrating conversations with fellow JW's, in frustration at my thirty year deadend job, etc. The dreams parallel real life in that the characters act as you would expect. I am no more heroic in my dreams than I was during those years.
  

  
  
  My wife says that I'm very animated and, at times, loud.
  

  
  
  tms
  

  
  
  
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  sass_my_frass

  The other night I came home from a business trip and Mr Frass met me at the door in a suit. For a second I thought he'd reacted badly to my mum's letter and decided to take me to a meeting (he did, after all, choose the cheap suit...) That was a momentary live nightmare. Turns out he was taking me out to dinner.

  I don't have bad dreams, the recurring dream I get is me surrounded by my old witness buddies, and I've forgotten that I'm disfellowshipped so I'm just joshing away like everything is normal, and they're trying to work out how to politely get away from me. It's not a bad dream, it's funny, because I always work the situation out in the end and laugh so hard I wake up. I really like that dream.
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  gumby

  My dreams find me in frustrating conversations with fellow JW's..........My wife says that I'm very animated and, at times, loud

  Me too TMS

  I can never recall my dreams for some reason for the most part.....but I get the loud moans often. It's a terrified sound my wife says and it can scare her. I never know what the dream is about, but I'm sure it's related to a fear of rejection from this religion we were raised in. I don't get the animated part I guess.

  Gumby....who's always glad to see TMS post.
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  juni

  TMS is animated in his sleep because he's "fighting back". I have had that happen too. I'll find myself slapping sister know-it-all, sister mean-spirited, elder hypocrite, etc. It's what you wish you could have done when you were in, but now you can only "dream" about it.

  Other times I find myself verbally defending myself to no avail - total frustration. I'll wake up in a sweat.

  Juni
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  JH

  I never have nightmares.

  I never dream about the JW's

  When I'm awake, Im glad to be free from them.
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  TMS

  Juni,

  "Fighting back?" Well, yes. But I was the analytical one who stayed in an obvious cult for more than five decades. So who's to blame?

  Something resonated with me many years ago, the idea that stress comes from not having control over a situation. I certainly felt that during my secular career, subservient, subject to many I felt were unqualified to direct me. It frequently took the long drive home for my anger to subside.

  My congregation experience was the total opposite. A congregation servant at 21, an elder for all the years after, I could control almost anything important to me. Generally laid back, I only got riled at the bull-in-a-china closet elder who thought he was the GB's direct messenger. That kind could do harm and I tried to at least lay down a speed bump in their path.

  All of that changed when our son was df'd. Now, it was my wife and I who were powerless. That psychological brick wall was accompanied by serious physical side effects. We both aged about twenty years in five.

  My cheerful, humorous facade disappears at sleeptime. Then I seem to be totally aware of all the good and bad in my life.
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  TMS

  Gumby,

  I do recall a bit of my dreams. I'm not an ex-Jw in my dreams. I'm not an ex-anything. I'm at assemblies, giving talks, at my work, on vacation. I'm doing all the things I did in my life but without the belief system. I can't consciously steer these dreams to accommodate my "apostate" views." LOL!

  tms

  ps: thanks for the kind remarks
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  SPAZnik

  sometimes i dream/nightmare i'm at a convention
  weird
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  greendawn

  I left the JWs by D'Aation long ago and I had occasional nightmare dreams for a while afterwards, but in more recent times in some dreams I had I was feeling in total control over them they were pleasant dreams rather than nightmares.
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  myelaine

  "I recall having nightmares about having to go back to highschool because it was discovered I hadn't completed a couple required courses. Silly since I have two college degrees yet every once in a while I have the same silly dream. On nightmaring about going back to the Kingdum Hall, never had that one! Thank you Jesus!!

  carmel"

  "Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture!" says the LORD.

  Therefore thus says the LORD God of Israel against the shepherds who feed My people: "You have scattered My flock, driven them away, and not attended to them.

  "Behold, I will attend to you for the evil of your doings," says the LORD. (Jeremiah 23:12)

  love michelle