In another thread it was mentioned the Witnesses do not shun disfellowshipped relatives, so I thought I would copy a few articles that show the Watchtower says quite definitely that they are to almost totally shun relatives, along with some examples that I know personally.
I personally know many that have not been contacted by their parents for years;
- My cousin was my best friend, and for a year before my disfellowshipping week after week I spent hours with her and her child, who spent 4 months of his first year in hospital. On the day of my disfellowshipping I was informed that I am no longer welcome there, and I have not seen my second cousin for 6 months now. I helped him with his first steps. but will not get to hear his first words.
- A girl on this site was disfellowshipped at 16. She did not hear about her sisters wedding until 2 years after it happened
- A friend of mine was shunned almost totally from the age of 19, for 20 years now. He has a great business, wife and three kids, is happy and well off. One day the elder father turned up at his sons door begging forgiveness for how he had treated his son, and tried to get the mother and sisters to speak to him as well. Two months later the father died. At the funeral the sister came up to him and said that Satan is testing her, as her family is broke and the husband and all three children are Bi-polar. She then told him that the only reason he has a good life is because Satan is blessing him.
- Another family I grew up with has not spoken for over 20 years to their son, since he too was a teenager. The only contact they will have with him is getting the non JW grandmother to pass on messages.
- Another friend was disfellowshipped three years ago. The elder father has not spoke to her since, and only once to her non Witness husband and then did not even ask about his daughter. You can imagine what the husband thinks about the "cult" as he calls it. The mother secretly calls her daughter as she has been forbidden to by her husband
- Another friend was recently disfellowshipped and ended up in a mental ward after two failed attempts at suicide. This seems quite normal during the ordeal a person goes through in the process of leaving the organisation. He found out from a non witness friend of a friend that his mother is moving to another city.
Are they isolated cases? No, they are the norm. They are how JWs act because the following articles quoted show that is what "God's Organization" demands, at the threat of being disfellowshipping if not followed.
Watchtower 1988 April 15 p27 What About Relatives?
13 Cutting off from the Christian congregation does not involve immediate death, so family ties continue. Thus, a man who is disfellowshipped or who disassociates himself may still live at home with his Christian wife and faithful children....14 The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home. It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum, in line with the divine principle: “Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person [or guilty of another gross sin], . . . not even eating with such a man.”—1 Corinthians 5:11 15 Understandably, this may be difficult because of emotions and family ties, such as grandparents’ love for their grandchildren. Yet, this is a test of loyalty to God, as stated by the sister quoted on page 26. Anyone who is feeling the sadness and pain that the disfellowshipped relative has thus caused may find comfort and be encouraged by the example set by some of Korah’s relatives.—Psalm 84:10-12.”
An interesting choice of scripture to include at the end, Psalm 84 says “a day in Jehovah’s courtyard is worth a thousand elsewhere”, possibly the intention is to imply that you don’t need family when you have God.
Watchtower 1963 July 15 p.444 Family Responsibilities in Keeping Jehovah’s Worship Pure
“The wrongdoer has to realize that his status is completely changed, that his faithful Christian relatives thoroughly disapprove of his wicked course and show this disapproval by limiting contacts to only those which are unavoidable. ...Permitting the transacting of necessary business with relatives who are disfellowshiped should be viewed as the exception ...We should not see how close we can get to relatives who are disfellowshiped from Jehovah’s organization, but we should “quit mixing in company” with them….
Kingdom Ministry 8/02 p.3 Display Christian Loyalty When a Relative Is Disfellowshipped
“The fact is that when a Christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshiped, he forfeits much: his approved standing with God; . . . sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with Christian relatives.”…
13 After hearing a talk at a circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their mother, who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother, and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact.
Shockingly, a relative can be disfellowshipped for associating with a disfellowshipped person!
Pay attention to yourselves and all the flock p.103
“Normally, a close relative would not be disfellowshipped for associating with a disfellowshipped person unless there is spiritual association or an effort made to justify or excuse the wrongful course.”