So tired of grief (page 3)

bem

It seems I have this whole process I have to go through to let go, and sometimes before I'm through one phase it repeats itself on me. Some close friends recently lost their mom to suicide and that is so hard to deal with. I've lost a couple friends and a family member the last couple years to cancer and grieving doesn't come easy no matter how it hits us. (((((Sirona)))))

I'm thinking something must be in the dream phase, I dreamed last night I was Df'd and I was crying, mad, sad and glad at the same time!

~ Dorothy

Sunnygal41

I just don't know that grief really ever goes away for good. Though it may not be as often as it once was, it lingers, waiting to storm in with a "Hello, remember me?" The moments still come to me, and I have to let it confront me, feel it, and release the pain that exists for that time.

this has been my experience, also, LonelySheep. I think, with time, it has a bittersweet quality to it........time dulls the sharp edges, but, it will always be part of your memory.........Sirona, introspection is a good thing, I think. It makes us deeper people.

Terri

nicolaou

Hi Sirona

I'm 42 and have yet to lose someone close to me so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. Reading your post made me appreciate that and my heart went out to you.

Nic'

Sirona

I just want to thank everyone sincerely for posting to this thread. Yesterday was one of those "bad days". Fortunately today is better.

I will take your advice to heart.

I'm finding that being busy is one of the best things. Not allowing myself to wallow in it. So today I went out and bought some clothes

Sirona

And can anyone tell me why I have this wierd fluttering just beneath my breast-bone? I've had erratic heart beats before, but this doesn't seem to be that...or is it?...its right in the centre below my ribcage. When I look down I can literally *see* my skin rising and falling to the "flutter".

Its been happening all day. It isn't painful, but a little bit concerning.

Sirona

Now whilst I'm in full swing "seeking advice" mode, I do have another dilemma.

I have a lovely dog, he is beautiful. My husband and I got him 18 months ago and have raised him from a puppy.

However, now that I find myself living alone its become difficult to care for both him and the two cats. The neighbours have offered to call in, but I work full time (5 days a week) and it isn't going to be practical for my ex to keep coming in and taking him out.

My ex in his infinate wisdom decided to rent a house which doesn't accept pets and claims its the only one he could find.

He has now offered for his sister, her long term boyfriend and her daughter (7 years old) to have our dog. He says that they will care for the dog until my ex gets a house where pets are accepted. However, the 7 year old may get attached, in which case, the dog stays with them permanently. Now my ex's sister is a dog lover, but I'm still so upset at the idea of letting my baby go.

It hurts a lot to think that because my ex has walked out on me, I have to lose my dog now....

I said I needed some time to think. But I just honestly cannot see me caring for the dog properly....I'm out 5 days a week for 9 hours a day.... and it isn't practical to try and rely on others to call in the house for me.

Sirona

blondie

Sirona, I would get me to the doctor. Prolonged sadness, possibly depression, is not necessarily a good thing. I tend to be the cerebral type in my approach. It does take time to reorder your life, to adjust to the hole; sometimes you must be a little proactive, get professional help, seek out a support group, etc.

I have weathered sexual abuse, alcoholic home, verbal and emotional abuse from my family, a chronic, debilitating disease, besides leaving the WTS behind after almost 50 years. I was sad, mad, glad, then sad, mad, glad, and thought it would never go away. It doesn't go away, but it does get less and less and less till it seems like it is gone.

Love Blondie (not a therapist, just a fellow journeryer)

nicolaou

And can anyone tell me why I have this wierd fluttering just beneath my breast-bone? I've had erratic heart beats before, but this doesn't seem to be that...or is it?...its right in the centre below my ribcage. When I look down I can literally *see* my skin rising and falling to the "flutter".
Its been happening all day. It isn't painful, but a little bit concerning.

What Blondie said. Logoff now, go to your doctor then come back and tell us that you're fine and there was nothing to worry about. Seriously girl! Get going!

Nic'

Stealth453

Stockholm Syndrome. Google it.

Balsam

Sirona, I lost my 15 year old son, Mom, Dad, my sister, close friend committed suicide, and then the numerous friends I've had over the years have died. How do we cope with so much death? By embracing it by realizing that we live and we die and sometimes it is the unexpected deaths that hurt the most. Its ok to grieve to cry, to feel that ache of loss. Through I've been able to embrace the deaths of all the people I love, losing my beloved son was the most crushing. Its been 5 years and still I dream of him frequently, and those dreams are a comfort and a reminder of his absense in this world with me. His death has brought untold sorrow to my other two sons too. Pain that even I can't reach.

What has helped me cope I guess is what I believe about life after death. If I thought his short life was all there was I suppose I would be heavy with pain constantly. I look to the postive things in my life just like you do Sirona and realize tomorrow is another day. When I gave birth to my beautiful sons I had no idea of the tragedy that lay ahead for my Dakie and their brothers. Even now I know the story is not done till my life is over. How many more will die and be waiting for me on the other side? If life is a continueous thing though and we pass from one life form to another, to me that makes it more bearable. Oh Sirona, your pooch is so cute can you hire a local kid to come come let him out and play with him during the day while your working. I used to do that for a divorced lady in my neighborhood. I'd go after school to let him out to do his business, we'd play a while then I'd put him back in the house and lock the door. During the summer I'd go twice a day to play with him and let him out in the yard. Just a thought.

Balsam

So tired of grief

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