Bible Comedy

by Gerard 13 Replies latest social humour

  • Gerard
    Gerard
    Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
    A. Ruthless.

    Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
    A. German Shepherds.

    Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
    A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else
    was in liquidation.

    Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
    A Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the
    Nile and drew out a little prophet.

    Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
    A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a
    Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda because the apostles were all
    in one Accord.

    Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
    A. Samson. He brought the house down.

    Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why
    he no longer lived in Eden?
    A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

    Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant
    lawbreaker in the Bible?
    A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

    Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
    A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always
    overflowing.

    Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the
    Bible?
    A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

    Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
    A. Joshua, son of Nun.

    Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
    A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
  • DannyBloem
    DannyBloem

    funny thanks.

    these were the things we as JW's always liked. Innocent enough....

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    Are there motorcycles in heaven?

    Revelation 14:17 says "And still another angel emerged from the temple that is in heaven, he, too, having A SHARP SICKLE".

    Warlock

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    I was thinking that was the sort of Bible-themed jokes used in field service. Now how about bump it up a notch and think of some ribald jokes? :)

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    What the hell are "ribald jokes"?

    Warlock

  • under_believer
    under_believer
    What the hell are "ribald jokes"?

    Warlock, you must have some kind of special web browser that can access JWD but doesn't work with any kind of search engine.

  • freetosee
    freetosee

    Here is one I remember

    Q: Who was the shortest man in the bible?

    A: Apostel Peter, he slept on the watch.

  • freetosee
    freetosee

    Who is this? (Too easy!)

    Ten little fingers, ten little toes, down the Nile River in a basket he goes.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Q: Do they play baseball in heaven?

    A: Yes. In Genesis it says "In the Big Inning, God created heaven and earth".

  • freetosee
    freetosee

    What scriptural confirmation do we have in knowing there will be no woman in heaven?

    Revelation 8:1

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