describe yourself... (page 4)

looking_glass

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Tuesdays, after the Theocratic Ministry School school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise on Earth, Reasoning with the Scriptures, and the Book of David in one day and still had time to construct an entire hall for a quick build that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the WTBS. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Ruth during an assembly drama, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Freddie Franz. But I have not yet been born.

confusedjw

Looking_Glass

Awesome sense of humor or personal twist on reality, either way it works. Keep posting

Forscher

I am big, fat, mean, and ugly!!
Heck, my avatar is prettier and nicer than me!!
Forscher

candidlynuts

i'm 5'6, 115 pounds, D cup boobage, long luscious blonde hair that moves in slow motion when i walk. i look 19 and i stop traffic...

(what? wake up? oh.. ok.. i'm short ,chubby and old.. but when i smile my brown eyes twinkle and people always smile back!)

restrangled

I always felt like a gangly girl. Tall, inseam of 35" for jeans and never developed on top. No matter how old you get, somehow what you were teased about stays with you. I had full pouty lips and was teased and called "Nigger lips" all during my school years. Sorry to those people of color here, just relating what I was called.

In later years I was known for my beautiful legs, eyes, lips and blond hair. I am:

5'8, long blond hair (now out of a bottle at this point) green eyes my best feature, full lips that were the bain of my life until they became popular, (still won't wear lipstick) at the appropriate weight and always considered pretty.

I have a dry sense of humor, quick witted, and like others here, sometimes stupid jokes send me into hysterics. I am not good at writing (as you all have probably discovered) but am an avid reader, gardner of exotic plants, animal lover, (feed the racoons possums) ....they are so use to me I have a family of both in my back yard......they are not frightened of me. They will appear at night and sit next to me while they dine on my cat's food.

I am a good cook, decorator, and can play some pretty good classical piano when I keep up my practicing Chopin's Fantasy Impromptu being my favorite.

I am unorganized in certain areas, and procrastinate but I keep a clean home and a beautiful yard. Strangely I am an on time person and don't tolerate lateness of any sort.

I have served as president of a condo association and hired and fired more idiots than I care to think about. I help my husband run our own business and do most of the paperwork, government contacts, fought with bank presidents, supervised workers etc. I don't seem to have fear of public speaking, etc. but in general, really a very private person.

I love sports cars, (bought a V8 mustang) music, and art.

I tend to scare short men because I am a strong and opinionated and do not hesitate to speak my mind. I was hired at a law firm and worked for the worst attorney (9 secretaries in 2 years) Needless to say he told me I scared him, ....we eventually became very good friends!

I am quiet and self contained I am not a real social person, a few close friends are all I need. (love my alone time) but will support and love anyone who comes into my life.

Thanks for listening.

tetrapod.sapien

though taxonomically a tetrapod, i am more well known as an upright, bipedal hominid (homo sapien), large cranium (1350 cm3 brain), mostly hairless with light vestigial patches. and, like other primates, i have the following, with modification via either natural or sexual selections respectively:

opposable thumb
fingernails
hydrolic penis
binocular vision
expanded forebrain

i enjoy drawing pictures of the animals i hunt on cave walls, and generally scrapping it out with the neanderthals (those dudes have to go).

TS

Calliope

tempting...

mrsjones5

I'm quiet. Some folks have a problem with quiet folks. It makes them uneasy. I'm not quiet all the time though. If I like you and feel very comfortable around you, I'll talk your ear off.

See that pic over there <------? That's me on the phone.

Josie

Robdar

Athan:

Sorry to hear about the raccoon Robdar. I have several on my property and they have never given me any trouble. The deer can be pests, especially when they eat my cucumber plants. But the wild turkeys are the worst, wish they would learn to clean up after themselves. Fortunately my neighbors and myself all believe in live and let live, so nobody harms the wildlife.

Thanks, Athan. My neighbor has an anger control problem. The problem has just caused him to get fired. I think he's taking his aggression out on the wee ones. I told him last night to leave the raccoons alone because I do not mind feeding them. He told me that he hates them and does not want them on his patio. IMO, he should remove the cat dish at night and the problem will go away. That's too easy a solution for him though. That would mean that he wouldn't get a chance to club a raccoon like a baby seal. I really don't know what to do about it and it's tearing me up. I know that you love animals too and I appreciate your support. Tis a pity that you live so far away.

Side note to the women: Athan is quite handsome with a fine sense of humor. And he's single, I think. Athan, are you still single or did you get snatched up by the lady you were seeing a couple of years ago?

Robdar

Tetra:

though taxonomically a tetrapod, i am more well known as an upright, bipedal hominid (homo sapien), large cranium (1350 cm3 brain), mostly hairless with light vestigial patches. and, like other primates, i have the following, with modification via either natural or sexual selections respectively:

opposable thumb
fingernails
hydrolic penis
binocular vision
expanded forebrain

Ain't nothing that turns me on more than a bipedal hominid with a large cranium and opposable thumbs.

describe yourself...

Share this