So....here's my story.... (page 2)

greendawn

Welcome Cordy, I see you got sacked into this religion as a child through your mother, you didn't really choose it yourself. So there is nothing wrong with moving out of it when the conditions are ripe.

The fears of the JWs about armageddon are all part of their mind conditioning they believe in many myths and this is one of them.

Virgochik

Welcome, Cordy! I admire you for biting your tongue and helping mom, but how long will it take to pay off her bills? DO you really want to find yourself still living with Mom at 37 or 47? There will always be one more thing she needs before you can go...

Could you get your own small place, or maybe a room mate, but still help her out? Your sanity could be at stake after too long. If she refuses your help, she will have to make choices...I'm betting she'll still let you help her.

I work with a very nice gay man who is 56 now, and still helping Mother. He wants to retire, but Mom needs money. It's a heart wrenching situation, because Mom won't avail herself of any programs, but places the whole burden on him. He can't really date or have a life, because Mom IS his life, and it's making him depressed.

Could she look into credit counciling, some Chapter of bankruptcy, or see a legal advisor about reducing the credit card debt? It might ruin both your financial futures, if left as is.

Please keep us posted, hope I'm not being too pushy!

I realized I was bisexual before I left the Wits and got my first apartment. I would be almost in tears, at my last meetings, hearing them rant about how wicked gay people were, and deserving of death. Almost made me crazy. You seriously need to get out of that poison, dude!

jstalin

It's never too late to go to college.

jambon1

Please mate - support you mum. She needs it right now.

At the same time, live your life and do what you want to do (even in secret, it is possible).

You really need to be a shinning example of a good person, despite what you may be viewed as by JW`s. Do what you think is right for your mum and do what you need to do for you.

It is a very hard situation indeed.

Please post here regulary for support. It is a blessing for you at this time in your life.

If you want to PM me then please do. I know what you are going through.

Best,

J

LDH

I still live with my mom as a 27-year-old helping her with her endless bills.

Welcome Cordy.

I think I'm the only one here who thinks this is not normal, or good. Your mother's bills are her own. You are not responsible for her financial well-being.

What I 'hear' from you is, 27 years of your life have gone by with you sacrificing your happiness for someone else's/

You deserve to be happy too.

Lisa

CordyC

Hey guys-

To answer one of the many questions- going to college might have improved my chances of meeting other gay men in the same environment as me. My best friend from high school met her husband in college and I thought it might have improved my chances of meeting the right person- or not....

I've been of both opinions- that I shouldn't help her out or that I should be self-sacrificing. I want to help her out because she raised me and looked after my needs even while she was digging herself into a hole. Yes they may be her bills, but it is my personal obligation to help her out because she has been materially supportive of me for years. The situation with my dad was devastating to her and I don't want to leave her worse than she already is. He did a number on her finances. Granted some of the things were mistakes and it could be argued that I shouldn't suffer for her- on the other hand, I couldn't sleep at night knowing she isn't doing well.

I cannot get a second job as I already work a full 40 hours a week and it is a draining job already. I guess if I did part-time work- but my job is a great gig.

If finances ever improve I will move out ASAP- I have told her as much.

I think if you looked up long-suffering in the dictionary there'd be a picture of me.

I have thought I'd have a mental breakdown, but my true non-witness friends have been such a great anchor. The two of them are pretty much the only "worldly" people I have told about my religious history. They are gems and keep me sane. I also know if it ever gets really bad I can stay with one of them. They are that good and they don't need me to ascribe to any particular way of life or worship any particualar god- they like me for me- a fellow human being.

Cheers,

CordyC

and you bet I will keep posting.

Bstndance

jstalin stole my quote! hehehehe
I totally agree with him. It's never too late to go to college. Even if it's one class a semester. community colleges are cheap cheap cheap and because of your financial situation you can probably go for free and even get help with living expenses if you take at least three classes a semester. Do it!! It's the best thing you can do with your life.

BritBoy

Hi CordyC

Welcome to the boards!

I know EXACTLY what it's like to be Gay and a jw. If you want to chat, PM me anytime!

Brit

CordyC

I guess it isn't too late to go to college but I wouldn't do it right now anyway- I have been mostly OK with not going to college except for when I think what my social life could have been. The irony is, I went to one of the most prestigious high schools in NYC and could have probably gotten into a semi-decent college- though my grades weren't that great.

I mentioned last night to my mother that I would move out whenever we were in a better place with her bills- her concern- "you're gonna leave Jehovah?" did I answer her- no. I kept silent. I wanted to tell her that I needed to leave the org. I am notbold enough to do that just yet.

Oh well, oh and people can also feel free to PM me if you want to have a chat. :)

Cheers,

CordyC

Sparkplug

Welcome CordyC!

So....here's my story....

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