How long do they tolerate you being "spiritually weak" in the beginning...

by Check_Your_Premises 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  Check_Your_Premises

  ...before they give up on you and just label you as a theocratic slacker/outcast?

  I have picked up that many in our congregation are considered weak or irregular. It appears that they are "encouraged" but eventually they are given up on and considered a "bad association".

  My wife, even when she is at her most dubbed out, only makes field service twice a week, and she can only keep that up for a couple weeks. She averages one morning a week in service, about 60% attendance at book study, and about 75% at TMS and sunday meetings.

  She is considered a "project" by a whack-job super pioneer type who still talks to her like a "study". It is clear that she is considered to be "spiritually vulnerable", if not weak.

  So how long in general before the cackling hens give up on such a person, even if they are really personable and they are showered with sympathy for having a husband who is a dirty rotten unbelieving mate?

  I suppose more than anything it is a matter of having other prospects around that are more interesting.

  CYP
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  kid-A

  Seems to depend on the particular KH. In my old "congregation", we had slackers that flew under the radar for years, if not decades, without any harassment from the BOE. You know the type, show up for the memorial and the CO's visit, then vanish for the rest of the year.
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  lost_light06

  My wife and I been inactive in our current cong. for most of the 3 years We have been there. We're spuratic in meeting attendance (We'll go regularly for a few weeks then miss a whole bunch). We have never recieved a sheperding call or visit and no one mentions our inactive status. In our old hall it was much the same except we had 2 sheperding calls and the brothers regularly talked to us about being more active.
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  calico

  Hi CYP--

  I think it depends on who you are--the cackling hens never paid much attention to me and the head one has known me since I was a kid! Of course, they view my husband as Mr. Wonderful--so I wouldn't need their help.
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  Check_Your_Premises

  I am hoping they will get to a point where my wife is considered weak, and no longer worth their time.

  I am encouraged in a way by the hard fight the nutjob pioneer lady keeps up. She and I are in the midst of a proxy war, whereby we both understand the real motivations for all we do. She understands my efforts in keeping her spare time filled with other activities. I understand her constant mothering and snooping. All the while my wife seems to be oblivious... wanting to only see the best in me and the society.

  This psycho-pioneer lady, who after decades of dubness knows all to well what to look for in a person who won't "stay in the truth", is fighting so desperately to keep my wife. Maybe her concern bodes well for my wife's eventual exit?

  We all have to look for signs of hope I suppose.
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  Boohiggy

  we have a lot like that here that shante the whole year then show up for one or two conventions.

  Melissa
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  blondie

  CYP, people can be considered "weak" for years. If you attend all the meetings and get out in field service once a week, that is pretty good, especially if you answer at least once at the book study and WT study.

  Your wife is a new JW, baptized about a year...and the woman who studied with her will keep trying since she seems to have no one else to concentrate her energies on

  As you can tell by the responses, the attention your wife gets is dependent on the personality of the congregation and the elder body.

  Blondie
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  drew sagan

  They will tolerate it differantly depending upon who you are and what your status is. Depending upon what the Elders are like the situation will change as well.
  It is safe to say that after about one month in inactivity they will start to take notice. I haven't been to a book study in over a month, but I still go to sunday because of the inlaws. People want to encourage you to do more, but really don't do much else. They will hint at it in small ways, but just ignore it.
  If you never give the sign of apostacy then for the most part there is nothing to worry about. They will never have 2 witnesses as long as you never agree to a sheparding call.
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  Check_Your_Premises

  She averages one morning a week in service, about 60% attendance at book study, and about 75% at TMS and sunday meetings.

  How would this level of activity be considered in most halls? Weak? Average? Bad association?

  CYP
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  truthseeker

  
  Check_Your_Premises

  They are tolerating me for the time being. After being spoken to by one elder many times on my poor meeting attendance and by another elder who told me "the Circuit Overseer doesn't look at any brother whose hours are under ten a month" they are pretty much leaving me alone.

  Few talk to me. I get the impression they can't work me out, in other words, I am not the predictable dub sitting at the meetings with my hand up more times than a monkey.

  I tell no one anything but always answer their question with another question. "Where were you?" = "Why didn't you call?"