Thank you all so much!! I think I am going to spend less time in WT land... (page 2)

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I know what you are going through. I went through the same 44 years ago. It is important that you know the rules, however.

1. You are the head of your family. God put you in charge of your family. Don't hesitate to tell the Elders to "butt out" of things that are none of their business. They will try to run your life if you let them.

2. Re: "the rules of attraction".; A Course in Miracles put the same idea a little differently:

"That which you defend against, you make real to your own mind"

As a Marine, you know the principles of judo which dictate that you use the opponents moves against him.

3. Your kids will be very, very, bored by the continual meetings and studies. The programs are not designed for kids. It is your right to insist that they get their school homework done before going to meetings.

4. You need to know more about the bible than they do. I would recommend "The Interpreter's One Volume Commentary on the Bible" edited by Charles M. Laymon.

5. Don't neglect your own spiritual development just because your spouse has "gone off the deep end". I think my wife was suffering from "post partum depression" when the Witnesses knocked on the door.

drew sagan

Since your are a christian I say your chancees of reaching your wife with something else that is better and that can replace JWism are very high. The most imporant thing, how YOU act.
Your conduct is going to speak volumes to your wife. I encourage you to study and grow in your faith. Eventually your wife will be able to see the differance.
One of the biggest points I have finally come to realize is how starved JWs really are for spiritual discussion, study, and expierance. They are basically controlled into thinking they are in paradise, when instead they are being treated like a bunch of 13 year old that can't keep their hands out of each others pants. The 'truth' about 'the truth' is that JWs know enough about the Bible to be critical of others, without having to examine themselves.
I highly reccommend the book "The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah", only because the things you learn about history and other stuff in such books goes against the bias that the Witnesses present in their literature. Little ways to creep in are the best.
Another great point is the 'time' issue. The fact that being a JW takes up so much of your time that you don't have any room for personal spiritual growth because all you give is to the org. It's not doctrine, it's not confrontational, but it is true. Why is it that when JWs study a book as a group it is a 'Book Study' but when they study the same book with 'interested ones' it is a 'Bible Study'. Cut through the mask of their tricks, expose them for what they are, one small little piece at a time. Never go to fast and show patience. Remember, your wife needs something better than JWism and YOU must provide it.
I wish you the best. Keep us updated on your progress!
-Drew

undercover

Best of luck to you, CYP.

I've enjoyed your posts, giving us perspectives of the UBM.

If you ever need a listening ear or just need to vent, we're always here.

candidlynuts

i wish you the best as well!

hugs

candy

jgnat

I consider you a fellow warrior. Find a way to keep in touch, please, CYP.

freedomlover

CYP-

my first friend from JWD! man, I wasn't here for 1 day and I had a PM from you! It's been a wild ride these past 7 months for me.

I don't post around here too much anymore. More and more I am feeling like I don't *need* the board as much. Many I was close with from here have moved on. I too agree that after awhile it can become like an obsession and for some personalities it can be all consuming. I find for myself I can't start my new life while still dwelling on the old one every day. Don't get me wrong, I will ALWAYS have a huge fondness and indebtedness to JWD and all the friends I have from here.

It sounds like you are bang on track as usual as to the best way to proceed from here. Your wife and kids are so fortunate to have you, and they don't even realize it yet. I do agree that you should just "be here now" and enjoy the moment - even if that means your wife is still a jw.

keep in touch. PM me your email addy if you can so I can send you my new one.

best of luck to you and yours.....freedomlover

HappyDad

Good luck to you CYP.

Glad you could stay here for awhile.

HappyDad

M.J.

Hang in there, CYP. You have been a great friend through our mutual trials. Best of luck in your new business venture.

Keep up the faith and you'll come out on top. I don't doubt that for a second.

Check_Your_Premises

Just poppin in to say hey!

I just wanted to report a bit on my vacation from the WT and JWD.

First of all thanks to those who responded with all your kind words. I do cherish my friends here so much. I know I will continue to need you all for support. Those who know me best know where to find me when they need mine.

I also must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed my time away! I can not escape the WT because they have come to dominate the lives of people very close to me. There is simply no escape. They are in my home! But by reducing the footprint of the wt in my life to the barest of minimums has really expanded my horizons and raised my spirits.

And even when the day comes when my family finally does move on, how can I forget the abomination of the wt and the countless, nameless victims in their wake? How can I forget all the lessons I have learned in helping wt victims? Has any knowledge ever come to me at a greater price! Again, I will be here fighting the wt with you all. It just won't be my whole life anymore. I have to take on the slow, steady gate of a long distance runner rather than the short-sighted, desperate all-out I have been pursuing.

We can only have so many thoughts in a day. By dwelling on these poor, lost, incredibly obnoxious souls more than we have to, we close ourselves off to the opportunities that surround us.

I must also say that being married to a jw is so incredibly maddening and taxing, that the last thing I need is anything else getting me worked up. I need every shred of patience, calm, and wisdom to keep from flipping out. Because every time I do flip out, I know I am simply wrapping another chain and lock around my family, and satan smiles.

So take care until next time. I am sorry I am not here more to give the support many of you need. Maybe in better times. I also know that there are plenty of good folks here who are helping you get through and past your little dance with the wt.

Well that is enough time for me in Russel's little fantasy land... (ha! it just occurred to me that Russel is kind of the Disney of religion, he created a neat little theme park that helps his sad followers to escape the real world)

Back to the real world me....

CYP

Will Power

Good Day CYP

wonderfully said, and so true for me too these days.
You do have a way with words that cuts right thru it .

"""Has any knowledge ever come to me at a greater price!"""

Amen

wp

Thank you all so much!! I think I am going to spend less time in WT land...

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