Yes, I know what you mean. For the most part my mom is ok and she does not hound me, but she has her moments and they seem to be connected to when there is a part about loving Jah more then your family that is not a JW. It is a catch 22, I am waiting for her to call an cry to me, but then again, I am hoping she will not because of taking the article to heart and with enough time passing she will return to feeling okay about calling me and speaking to me again.
A couple of years ago my mother told me how disappointed she was in me that she never thought she would have a child who would turn their back on Jah and she said it broke her heart. My response was just as cold as her words were to me ... I told her how disappointed I was that my mother was not as intelligent and independent as she raised me to be, in that she was being spoon fed arsenic laced "spiritual food" and was pretending to like it. I told her that if she thought that saying those words to me would motivate me or guilt me in to returning, if anything, it just reaffirmed my decision to stay away.
I know my mother means well and she is not a bad person, but it is like the battered wife syndrome, when this is all you know, think about how frightening it is to change. That would mean to her that there is no new system, that her polio, she will die with, that her mother that died, she may never see again, etc. Just the same as I am not going to say to the person who believe wholeheartedly that they will see their loved ones in heaven (because I do not believe that way) that there is no heaven and they will never see them again, I am not going to dash my mother's hopes.
If we value who we are, we will see our families black or white thinking as sad and their cutting us off as their loss. I cannot speak for all of you here, but for those who I have encountered, we are good people and until we reach that conclusion, when our families treat us in ways that are unhealthy, we will allow them to do it rather then put an end to it.
For those who have spouses in the religion still, I think the biggest statement that can be made in a non-verbal way is to continue to be a good person, continue to be supportive, but continue in the route that is the healthiest for you. Let me tell you it took years of research for me to reach that conclusion, so now when my mom says something it no longer has a hook in me and I just say "hmmmm" and change the subject.
Good luck to everyone, whatever your quest is.
