I should have made it more clear... I've done all of the things you guys are saying! There should be no doubt in ANY of their minds that I'm an apostate ex witness! (if you read my post history it should be really clear!) As to the elders harassing me, they don't, they know better! Hell I LOVE to cause them grief (I did even when I was a JW!) They seem to just take everything I say as I'm putting them on or something!
What I'm constantly hearing from my witness friends is "oh elder bob mentioned you the other day, he asked me when you were going to come to your senses and come back!" I was really a popular guy and a good speaker (I know that's hard to believe from my acid lined post but usually I'm laughing when I post the most horrifying things I just have a mean sense of humor!) But I seem to be hearing this through the grapevine a LOT recently (I think my mother is spreading the rumors) anyway I've told everyone I WILL NEVER GO BACK! Hell I've got about 8 people to LEAVE since I've been out! I mean COME ON!
What I want is a sure fire way to stop the rumors so everyone will say "whoa, did you ask me when mark is coming back? He can't come back he committed the unforgivable sin! Didn't you see him streak into the hall naked and slap Sister XXXXX cross eyed?"
I've tried blasphemy I blaspheme all the time! (once again peruse the post history!) Makes no difference! I could get up on the stage (while naked of course) and say "Jesus power to preform miracles came from being constantly sodomized by Satan." I swear they would think I was telling a joke! They would say "that mark always telling a larf!" I don't get it!
All my friends were df'ed as I was fading for having orgies and smoking pot. They called me in and said "everyone says you were there," I said "they all lie" (a hell of a lot more than two witnesses too!) "Well XXXXX said you XXXX'ed his wife" "he lied" Well XXXX Said you did XXXX to young sister XXXX" "all lies despicable lies!" Well 6 people say you were there" "bull crap I was home reading my bible" (YES I really said that at one point) They got up at the next meeting and read of a LIST of my friends who got DFed and reproved and removed as pioneers Ms's etc... Me? Nope I got nothing!
The wife and I tossed some elders of the property about a year ago. They called me later in a huff. I sent them a letter that said I was never baptized (it was a lie of course I was) they just dropped it... WTF? I don't want to be DFed per se but I don't want to hear "oh mark will come back one day" either! What have I done to be singled out as not able to offend jehoger?
(this thread was intended to be a little tongue in cheek of course but I would also like a straight answer just in case it ever comes up!)