How being a JW affected me as a person

by keo15929 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • keo15929
    keo15929

    Not long ago I bet no one from this site would have been able to stand me for 2 seconds. I was one of the most fiercest JWs of all time. I'd argue until I was blue in the face and I was darn good at it to. I would have had you scratching your head all the while scratching my own head but never letting you know about that. I was so good at WTS logic that I could speak to almost anyone and have them questioning themselves and their position against the WTS. The person I had the hardest time convincing, though, was myself. The toughest arguments I had were with myself.

    I look back now and I see the effects being a Witness had on me. The whole mentality that as a JW I was in the right and will live forever and anyone who is not a JW will be killed kind of created a superior and hatefull attitude in me. It gave me the tedency to look down on "worldly" people. But then, the society tells you to love your neighbor. That's kind of hard to do when you think that if you cannot convince them to be a Witness then they must be drinking beer with Satan the Devil and that if you can't be convinced to be a Witness you must be stupid and have demons. How can you possibly have a positive attutude toward people if you have those kind of beliefs. I struggled inwardly because I knew that the person that probably had the biggest effect on my life was not a Witness and could not be conviced to be one. Believe me, I tried. But this person was probably the best person I've ever known.

    I remember one time I was out in the ministry talking to a guy that I've known for a long time and he had pulled up some info about Witnesses off of the internet. He showed it to me and I took it and started going over it. Latter I was speaking with a guy who was home from his missionary assignment for a while at the kingdom hall and was telling him about this experience and how I had thumbed through the written material that this other person had pulled from the internet. He immediately got this concerned look on his face and this concerned tone of voice and told me ever so gently that I shouldn't even touch "apostate" material. This kind of insulted my sense of justice. How can I not look into contrary opinions? How could I be qualified to try to "help" people who have heard all of these negative things about the WTS if I never looked into those things myself? I believe in looking into all sides of the issue. Heck, the WTS is the main one that taught me to be that way. They tell people from other religions to be honest and examine their religion and so forth but strictly forbid a Witness from examining things if it means he might found out something not kosher about the Witness organization. That made me think that the WTS had something to hide.

    I tell you, the reason why Witnesses can be so stubborn is because they are completely and thoroughly convinced that they have the truth. They simply are not willing to entertain any thought out of harmony with that belief. If they are told things that are good valid points against Witness teaching then they will find a way to justify it. All knowledge is built around the firm and unshakable belief that they have the truth. When they read the Bible they are looking for validation of their belief and nothing else.

    There is actually very convincing evidence out their that even the Bible is simply made up. One of the things that shook my confidence in it is something I found out when looking in the Insight book. The Mosaic law has been alleged to come from an earlier set of laws in Babylon and the wts was trying to show the differences in the Mosaic law and that Babylonish law. There was an excerpt of that Babylonish law and it sounded almost identical to the Mosaic law. That kind of stuck with me. I have heard that a lot of the stories in the Bible came from ancient myth. I haven't really looked into that yet but what I saw in the Insight book was shocking.

  • Arthur
    Arthur
    I have heard that a lot of the stories in the Bible came from ancient myth. I haven't really looked into that yet but what I saw in the Insight book was shocking.

    You are right. Many Old Testament accounts did come from earlier mythology, or at least that is what most of the evidence shows. To my surprise, I began to learn that this is actually common knowledge among many Bible scholars. Two books that I highly recommend are: "Who Wrote the Bible" by Richard Elliott Friedman and "Secret Origins of the Bible" by Tim Calahan. These two books are extremely enlightening and answer many of the problematic questions about the Old Testament.

    When you expressed all of your thoughts, feelings, and observations you had made as a JW, it was as if you were describing me. Many others on this site will also agree that you were describing them as well.

    It is indeed amazing to see the level of "intellectual gymnastics" that JWs (and myself) went to; to sheild our beliefs from evidence and information that may weaken our ideology. When I was expressing to a family member all of the research I had done into archeology, and all of the proof that humans have been on earth much longer than 6,000 years, the only reply they could come up with was "that is worldly thinking" and "scientists are taught not to believe the Bible". The level of naivete that many JWs have about how scientific discovery is carried out is truly amazing.

    But, as I say this, I realize that I am really describing the way I used to be. And so, I am truly amazed at the level I went to in order to sheild my beliefs from uncomfortable information. I am amazed at the naivete that I once had and held onto (and perhaps on certain matters, still do).

    It's funny. When I was a Witness, I always claimed that I was an honest and open-minded person. For so many years, I didn't want to face the fact that I was a slave to dogma. It wasn't until I actually began to openly question my own religious beliefs, that I truly appreciated the power that ideology can wield over the human mind.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Hi keo,

    The whole mentality that as a JW I was in the right and will live forever and anyone who is not a JW will be killed kind of created a superior and hatefull attitude in me. It gave me the tedency to look down on "worldly" people. But then, the society tells you to love your neighbor.

    If you add judgmental to the list, you would describe me. I think a lot of people here would agree they were also smug and self-righteous as JWs. However, the sense of superiority extended to other JWs and creates an unloving spirit in the congregation as well. The resulting lack of love drove away many people, including me.

  • Virgochik
    Virgochik

    Welcome, Keo! Yep, there's nothing like the pitying smirk a JW gives to "worldlings" who try hard to show them the evidence. I'm sure it never looked too good on my face! Thankfully, lots of people are gentle on us till we wake up, huh?

  • anewme
    anewme

    Welcome Keo!

    I like an apology from a man now and then! Its healthy!

    Now that the bubble surrounding your thinking has burst Im sure you are experiencing new thoughts and insights daily!

    Keep up the good work!


    Anewme

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee
    There is actually very convincing evidence out their that even the Bible is simply made up.

    Well, my !

    Seriously, keo, welcome to the board and I liked your post a lot.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Hi keo, and welcome to the board. I enjoyed your post, and look forward to hearing more from you.

    Arthur, you could have been describing me here:

    When I was a Witness, I always claimed that I was an honest and open-minded person. For so many years, I didn't want to face the fact that I was a slave to dogma. It wasn't until I actually began to openly question my own religious beliefs, that I truly appreciated the power that ideology can wield over the human mind.

    All those years in the wts I was continually told I'd been brainwashed, and never accepted it. I was there by choice, so I thought. It was only when I started having doubts and did some self - examination that I realised how controlled I was.

  • whyizit
    whyizit

    I've really gained a lot of insight by reading of your experience. I sure hope you don't "throw the baby out with the bath water" when it comes to the Bible, however. Just because someone did a bad job of representing God and His word, is no cause to decide His book is not true. Yes, many religions do mirror the Bible, as well as use it to their own advantage. Never forget: The best counterfiets are the ones that closely resemble the real deal. That's how they get you hooked.

  • keo15929
    keo15929

    The statement about the superior attitude extending toward other JW's is so true. I was constantly nagging other JW's I was around about silly little things like the movies they watched or the music they listened to, or about not studying their watchtower, or not going out in service much. I was a pain to be around. Then, when they wouldn't listen to me I felt it was my duty to personally "mark" that person and quit associating with them.

    Isn't it pitiful that if a Witness child plays football at school he is supposedly spiritually weak. Poor kids can't do anything fun. From what I've seen, most of the young witnesses are living a double life. I have seen very very few witnesses that actually try to obey all the rules. Even one of the circuit overseers admitted he liked watching westerns. Oh but isn't that violent. Doesn't the WTS tell you not to watch anything violent? Funny thing to since the Bible itself is full of violence. Can't watch violence on tv but you can read a book that has a story about a woman being raped and then chopped into pieces and her body parts being scattered among the tribes of Israel. Or about a "righteous" man that pierced a man and a woman through their genitals with a spear because they were fornicating.

    I've thought a lot about the fact that humans definitely have been around longer than 6000 years. Archeologists find spear heads that are over 50000 years old and even human remains that are over 10000 years old. I don't know for sure that the Bible requires a person to believe that mankind is only 6000 years old but if it does it is definitely wrong. That can be scientifically proven. I'll say this to, the picture that is painted of God in the OT is very different from the God that Jesus preached. The OT God seems vengeful and angry, the one Jesus preached seems gentle and kind. Jesus contradicted OT laws but I thought God was never supposed to change. He says "eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth" in the OT but Jesus said turn the other cheek and pray for your enemies. So much inconsistency.

  • Arthur
    Arthur
    All those years in the wts I was continually told I'd been brainwashed, and never accepted it. I was there by choice, so I thought.

    Me too. I am very embarrassed to realize how I used to accuse members of other religions of being in denial. You know, I just thought of something. I remember how Sigmund Freud wrote extensively about the human mind projecting onto others it's own deeply suppressed and hated qualities. The very fact that I used to ridicule other religionists for being brainwashed and in denial should have told me something about myself.

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