Saki2Fifty,
I'm not so sure where to begin here, and I don't know if I can say anything that has not already been said. But I'll attempt to put it in my own words, based on my own experience.
The one thing that separates the witness organization from most others, is the REQUIREMENT to do or not do certain things. If this is violated somehow, one is subject to a JC and their very life, (in the form a social existence), hangs in the balance. The problem with this is, life just isn't that black and white. One can try to live by principles, and that certainly is admirable, and should be strived for, but sometimes those principles can/need to be broken in order to maintain sanity, and for the greater good.
Example of what I mean: jws are told they cannot divorce except on the grounds of adultery. They may have an awful, abusive marriage, that NO ONE is benefiting from. They continue to put up with this situation for years, beacause "it's the right thing to do". What happens? You guessed it, one, or both partners goes nuts. Aldutery is usually committed just to get out of the bad marriage. Been there done that. Not to mention the issues with pornography, awful arguments, and MANY hurt feelings. Had there not been such an "absolute" policy, much of the pain could have been avoided. This is REAL life.
I have seen way too many bad witness marriages. Not that all non-witness ones are perfect. But, I would make an assumption that percentage wise, jws are probably worse off than many.
btw: This experience leads many out of the org. It woke me up.
j