Need your thoughts on this,

crankytoe

So I recently started dating a friend of a friend's sister. Now, I wasn't really interested in her romantically, but I was single and she's ok company. So last Sunday she came over my house for the first time.

Long story short, based on the fact that we'd partially undressed, and were making out hard&heavy, I was convinced we both wanted sex. My hands and mouth had thoroughly explored her main nook, and her major cranny, so you can imagine my shock when I tried to do the deed and she protested. Well I ignored her initial protests thinking maybe she just doesn't want me to think she does this stuff all the time.

Long story short, after she convinces me her no really means no, we get dressed and just sit there for a few minutes. Me in shocked disbelief. Her, ...well she looked pissed. So we start talking about what the hell just happened. It wasn't long before we were shouting at each other. So she leaves.

I immediately call my buddy so he can tell his buddy my version of what happened if it comes up.

Ok, I'm really trying to keep a long story short. The next day, I call her cell phone, no answer. That was a first. I decide to take the hint and leave her alone. Couple days go by, I decide to forget her. So she shows up at my door Thursday saying she wants to talk. I let her in, and she gives me this rambling speech about how she really likes me but I scared her the other day and she really doesn't know me and just wants to slow things down. While she was talking, I kept nodding yes and agreeing that we were moving too fast. The problem is she was talking about a relationship and when she said she liked me, I said I liked her too! And I do, kindof! After listening to her try so hard to make me understand her, I was touched. She kissed me before she left, - I have the horrible feeling that I'm in a relationship now! That's not what I intended!

And now after hearing my buddy's version of what happened and my new girlfriend saying nothing happened, her brother just called here and now we're sworn to lay waste to each other when next we meet.

This is the most excitement I've had in a while, but I'm not sure I want a girlfriend. Though the more I think about her, the more I like the idea,

katiekitten

Well I am releived the story ended like that. I thought you were building up to "she accused me of date rape".

I think you should back off. She sounds confused, and she may be a bunny boiler. If you go the full distance she will definately think you are in a relationship and will be devastated, to say the least, when you want to go shoot pool instead of helping her pick some earrings to match that new handbag she just bought.

If I were you I would find a straight forward f*ck buddy - someone who is as clear as you that they dont want any strings.

Unfortunately I am busy this weekend so I cant help you out there!

serendipity

HI crankytoe,

but I'm not sure I want a girlfriend. Though the ;more I think about her, the more I ;like the idea,

I think you need to decide if you want a girlfriend and all that implies or if you just want sex. Then you need to be honest with your girlfriend and see what her thoughts are. Maybe she's only interested in sex too, but I doubt it. It would be unkind to proceed with this relationship if you two have different goals.

Nathan Natas

I don't know how old you are, but getting into a relationship when you don't want one is not a real good idea. I agree with katiekitten, you need a fookbuddy who doesn't start planning a wedding the first time you kiss. Believe it or not, there ARE other girls out there, and they are not all operating at the same wavelength as this one.

crankytoe

serendipity - "It would ;be unkind to proceed with this relationship if you two have different goals."

You're absolutely right,

katiekitten - "She sounds confused,"

Yes! That's what confused me!

Nathan Natas - "there ARE other girls out there, and they are not all operating at the same wavelength as this one."

Of course, you're right,

--------------------------------

So she came over yesterday, and we were comparing our taste in music, and now it's official. We have absolutely NOTHING IN COMMON. We talk about this fact, and her logic is basically opposites attract and if we liked the same things that would be boring. I say we don't know each other well enough to even know if we're opposites or not, maybe we should not get into a relationship so soon. So she gets a little pissed says I'm only saying this because she won't have sex. So I say sex would've been a mistake and I'm glad we didn't. So then she asks me what the f*ck do I want exactly, so I told her lets just be friends and see how that goes. And will she talk some sense into her stupid bro. She didn't seem too concerned about that escalating

It was a wierd day, we went out to a water park, got some food, then back to my place, watched a couple movies. A little too romantic if you ask me, but I think I showed I can be friendly without whipping it out or copping a feel everytime she smiles or laughs.

It's not that I don't want a girlfriend,
We're just no good for each other,

serendipity

Hi crankytoe,

When you feel you're ready for a serious relationship, pay attention to common values. Common interests make a relationship easier, but interests change over time, and values tell you more about a person.

crankytoe

Look for ommon values, as opposed to common interestss - Excellant,

Writing this down,

katiekitten

Hey Cranky - good call.

Now go and wipe that bloody makeup off your face! (fell into mum mode for a minute there)

sspo

Hey crankey

Is that a recent picture of you?

Just curious

jayhawk1

People who have a lot in common make for a strong relationship. My wife and I have all but her musical talents in common. I can't play an musical instrument to save my soul. It is not boring to be in a relationship with many things in common. Because we do share many of the same interests, it is easy to agree on what to do together.

People without much in common seldom work together well. Usually those are people looking for chaos for whatever reason.

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