AN ELDER SPOKE TO ME TODAY

by Dansk 59 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dansk

  Crumpet:

  Dont get too rash about current elders being - some of them are just biding their time until they can get family members out like many who are not elders.

  All are welcome!

  I don't have a problem with elders who are coming here under the criteria you mention, but dozy is defending the Society! I wholeheartedly agree that everyone is welcome because there is much to learn here and many hearts have been mended. However, in Dozy's case it would appear he hasn't fully read my posts or my history. If the elder in question, for example, had ignored me I would definitely not have mentioned anything here. However, I mentioned his trying to speak to me because, as I said, I thought it might help others not to be afraid.

  The elder in question lives just a couple of hundred yards from me - yet in the past two years he hasn't called or telephoned to see how I am. He reported my wife to the BOE because, sticking his head in my door (see TORN APART) he overheard Claire say JWism is all rubbish. The same elder couldn't wait to do the marking talk on us and didn't tell us when our daughter was in hospital. Dozy makes no mention of such arrogance from this elder but tries to justify defending elders. Ian
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  OUTLAW

  Hey((Ian)),no need to feel bad bud.This guy couldn`t be bothered to be a friend to you for the past 2yrs.In fact he went out of his way to prove he`s not.Now he wants to know how you are??..Everything in life is earned.He got what he worked for.Let him suck on that!...OUTLAW
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  peggy

  I don't think your reaction was wrong at all, it was what it was. I do think, that he had a moment of compassion as you walked by. Out working in his yard, no doubt allowing his mind to wonder. He let down his ARMOR! You know, the armor we all once shielded ourselves with. It allowed us to shun even the closest to us. While the fruit of the spirit produces wonderful qualities, the rules and laws of men make them INVALID! Just my thought. Take care Ian and I hope you continue to gain strength!

  Peg
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  love2Bworldly

  Dansk--I think your response was perfect actually! The only reason that elder spoke to you was because you walked right by him and he was taken off guard. Hope you're feeling better soon.
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  LovesDubs

  I too have an elder living just a few houses down from me and the Kingdom Hall itself is on the next street east from here literally next door. This elder knows my husband from the hall and my husband kisses his ass of course...and this elder's son is a close friend with my JW inlaws, in business together and all that...and both the elder and his son have on occasion darkened my door here wanting to talk to my husband. On one occasion the elder came to the door which I had opened up for a breeze and stood in the doorway asking for my husband. When I informed him he could COME IN and neednt stand outside he said he PREFERRED to remain outside! How RUDE is that??? When he found out my husband wasnt home even tho his truck was there, he left without even saying goodbye or thanks or anything. Then another time I was outside working in my yard, and we have 3/4 acre and the house is set back 84 feet from the front fence and the elder stopped and YELLED from the street for me to "go get my husband" so he could talk to him! Even though my husband WAS HOME...I thought F- you buddy Im not at your beck and call and I lied to him and told him he WASNT home. He wouldnt even SET FOOT on the property! Then once his son came by (right after hurricanes Jeanne and Francis hit us back to back) to pick something up from my husband and he was driving this truck around with these obviously NEW magnetic signs on his truck that said 'JEHOVAHS WITNESSES HURRICANE RELIEF"....what the F___ is THAT?? But the guy didnt even ACKNOWLEDGE me or the fact that I was out CLEARING TREES in my OWN yard...he didnt OFFER ANY RELIEF to his own NEIGHBORS but was apparently going aroudn helping ONLY THE "FRIENDS". I was furious!!! I told my husband too that OTHER RELIGIONS werent driving around the neighborhood BRAGGING that the CATHOLICS were out helping or the BAPTISTS were out helping...we were all HELPING EACH OTHER in the neighborhood but not the JWs oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO they would only help OTHER JWs! They make me SICK SICK SICK!

  So a few months ago, like you, I was out taking a walk with my girlfriend around the block and this elder is out at his curb complaining that some kid he hired to help him clear his property "wasnt stacking the logs right" and he obviously didnt recognize me. He was all friendly and chatty and when I told him where I lived and who I was he stopped COLD and said "he had something he'd better take care of up at the house" and beat a hasty retreat from me.

  So elders might have the freedom granted them by the society to talk to EXJWs but even when they LIVE NEXT DOOR the effort isnt made to try to bring me back in...in fact his behavior and his sons put me off so bad I cant wait for him to appear at my gate again so I can tell him to go SHOVE IT.

  Dont feel bad about what you said...to him you are just another blip and he doesnt see you as an individual. You probably caught him off guard and he didnt have time to hide from his guilt :)
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  OUTLAW

  Bad mouthed Ian and the Mrs. from the stage.Couldn`t be bothered to find out how Ian was for 2yrs.Could`nt be bothered to tell Ian his daughter was in the hospital..Moment of compasion??..How about,caught off guard,Hypocrate DirtBag?!!...OUTLAW
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  peggy

  OUTLAW------Sometimes the worst fo the worst are that way to accomplish the mind set. I have no real idea if this person has an ounce of compassion, he may not. I just thought it possible. Some of the most ardent apostates on this board, have shame over the way they acted while still associated with the Org.

  Peg
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  LittleToe

  Ian:Sounds like you snapped off a good response. It was certainly heartfelt

  Dozy:Most of the Elders I knew either were power hungry or had their heads up their asses. By far the minority were the kind that cared, and usually they would burn out. Personally I "got out".

  Which kind are you?
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  katiekitten

  Dansk I feel bad too If I feel like I have been rude to someone. It niggles at me for days. But really that guy pathetic excuse for a human being deserved a lot more than you gave him.

  In comparison to what he deserved to hear, you were ultra polite.

  Never mind him being an elder, where is his human compassion and empathy for a fellow human being who is suffering? Asshole.

  And like you say, it slipped out before you had time to think about it. And a good job too, because you would have probably been polite with him had you thought about it, and that would have been giving him a gift he didnt deserve.

  And as for the current elder posting here - dont defend someone when you have no idea what Dansk has been through or how he has been treated. I know its an unbelievable thought but some elders can be cruel malicious thoughtless assholes. You might not have met any yet, but they do exist, and they cause untold damage because they are in a position of authority over people. Were not slagging off elders per se. Were slagging off an elder who lived within strolling distance of a man who was fighting a deadly disease and who for 2 years never even bothered to ask how he was doing.

  In my book that is indefensible. (or undefendable - whatever the word is!)
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  OUTLAW

  Peggy,you like to see the good in people.That is a good quality,but sometimes dangerous.I have friends who want nothing but the best for everyone and are sometimes taken advantage for it.I tell them:"God put me on earth,to protect people like you."...OUTLAW