my disassociation drafts, longish but i'd like comments....

by isthisit 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • isthisit
    isthisit

    <div> <div> <div>we decided to leave before being pushed, these are my letters, her letters are very similar but she is still working on them, any suggestions would be more than welcome....bear in mind my dad is PO, should this change anything? <br></br> ________________________________________________________________________________________________-- Brothers This is perhaps the hardest letter I have had to write, and it is likewise the letter that I least expect to have to write. As of this letter being received, I no longer consider myself as a Jehovah’s Witness. You are all no doubt well aware of our situation. <Name Removed> and I have been involved and increasing in our love for each other for some time, progressing, as we should towards marriage. In fact we plan to marry on October 7th in Boston. However this marriage will not be one “sanctioned” by Brooklyn. Obviously being beaten is not reason enough to leave a marriage and therefore <Name Removed> is not scripturally free remarry. Regardless of this fact, we are in love and plan to marry on the above date. Bro <appears-to-be-your-buddy-but-actually-isn’t> informed me at a rather informal shepherding that this marriage would considered at worst a disfellowshipping and at best a probable “permanent marking” offence. This fact was later confirmed by a call by Bro<old school but well meaning and like my grandfather> and Bro<head so far up his own ass he can’t see the daylight>. This is unacceptable to us. I have been nothing but a stand up brother, I have done all that is required of me , and more, holding down two “responsibilities” in the whole when there are enough brothers to go around, answered at every meeting, went out on service, did all I could when I could. We no longer wish to be members of an earthly organisation that will not recognise the god given right to happiness to two people. You as an organisation may not accept our relationship, I hope, and believe that Jesus and our Heavenly father, does. Brothers, this is not easy for me, but Mum and Dad both taught me that principles are far more important than the letter of the law, something that you seem to have forgotten. I hold no bitterness towards any of you; I love you all as brothers, friends and family. However I do not wish my name slandered among the brothers within our hall. It is with this in mind that I have drafted a letter to be sent to those within my circle of friends and brothers I had the most dealings with, to be sent in conjunction with this letter so that my name shall be clear among those of whom I called my brothers and friends in Christ. I will by no means hinder the work of the hall or of the organisation, we simply wish to live our years together in happiness and in peace in a union sanctioned by Caesar and by Christ. Your Brother Isthisit?<br> My dearest Parents This is the letter that I hoped never to have to write. I am leaving the organisation. Dad will have received the letter to be read to the body of elders on Tuesday, perhaps his last act as presiding overseer. You are well aware of my reasons. I always kept you involved with my life, you knew of <my love’s> past and accepted her into your life as I easily I took her into mine. However this is a relationship that “has no future” as far as Brooklyn and some of our body of elders is concerned. It is with this in mind that we are disassociating from the organisation. You know her past, you were aware of it, so I take this to mean that you approve. Dad, you were, and still are the elder I have most looked up to, Principles have always been the most important thing to you, I love you for this (in fact I love you for just being who you are) but not all on the body of elders agree, and neither does the organisation as was shown to be in the in the “pay attention” book. We are making a stand for what we believe to be right, our love for each other. I understand the position that we are putting ourselves and likewise putting you in. If you no longer wish to have dealings with us, we understand, these are standards set forth by Brooklyn. However regardless of this, we have booked a table for 6 in a restaurant in Boston on October 7th, we would love it if you can come, however if you cannot, I will take it that you no longer wish to have dealings with us. Please be assured that I love you, and this unconditional love will never stop, I will always send emails and pictures to let you know how we are, whether you respond is up to you, I leave it in your court. I love you, and will never stop. I have nothing bad to say about the way I was raised or the way I was treated, I was always happy as a child and I wish to continue this happiness into the future. With as Much love as can be put into the written word Your Son IsThisit

  • grey matters
    grey matters

    Wow. I don't know what to say. But I don't think you could lay that out in a more calm and reasonable manner.

  • LovesDubs
    LovesDubs

    Wow...well done. I dont think you could have been any more succinct and yet kind and loving as you are being. Make sure that you send out your letters to your friends and family BEFORE you do anything with your DA letter so as to be sure that the friends are not WARNED in advance to ignore any correspondence from you.

    I wish you guys much much happiness. I can feel that you love each other very much. Trust me....they wont show up for the wedding so have a B List ready :)

    Hugs, Loves

  • Alligator Wisdom
    Alligator Wisdom

    Yes, principles are far better than the letter of the law. (Matthew 9:13 & Luke 8:43-48)

    Has your fiance received a divorce by the legal courts in your area? If so, then that is when principles are involved (Mark 12:17 & Romans 13:1) and the shephards in your congregation (if they are Christlike) should reflect that. Too bad that they must follow the dictates of Brooklyn to the letter of the law.

    Congratulations!

    Alligator Wisdom ( aka Brother Not Exerting Vigorously )

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Very nice isthisit.

  • bigmouth
    bigmouth

    That's great isthishit! It's not wordy and the love for your parents is evident. I think it's also a good idea to get the letter to friends before the big-wigs.
    Maybe a little proof reading. All the best, Pete.

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Its not really long. Mine was 13 pages of rant and rave that I'm sure no one read. Yours will no doubt be read which is a good thing.

    Congrats to you on your decision.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    A great letter.

    I think the elders will label you as "weak sinners trying to justify fornication, who in time will come grovelling back". For this reason I wonder if an extra line could be added, basically saying something to the effect of:

    "Our situation has caused me to devote much time to research of the Watchtower Organization and I am firmly convinced that its' changing doctrines and practices do not represent Christianity as instituted by Jesus."

  • James Free
    James Free

    Writing a letter like this is very helpful. It gets you to put in writing what you really feel.

    The actual content is not so important. The few elders who read the letter will skim-read after the first lines where you disassociate. It will not provoke them to think but will probably close the thinking process off completely. After that they will make an announcement that you are not Witnesses anymore, and the Cong. will assume you were either disfell. for immorality or jumped before you were pushed if any know you DA'd. The gossip will fill in all the gaps where the facts are not known.

    Write it for yourself - you will feel better for doing it.

  • isthisit
    isthisit

    thanks for all your words of encouragement, JWFACTS- we did toy with the idea of putting a paragraph like that in, but we decided against it, because it would take many more pages of explanation, we have decided to leave in a simple manner. Both of us have cleared up our letters a bit, she will send copies both to her home congregation in the states and here. The plan is for the letters to be sent for the first week in September, we have a few things to clear up here, including a party on Friday, it will certainly be a bittersweet experiance. Our life in Boston is pretty much set up, we have an apartment and she has already got the basics set up, for us both to live in when i move in a few weeks. and! our B-list is already in place, her sister who is df'd is her witness at the wedding :-). Regardless of whether my parents show up or not, we are treating a few to dinner straight after.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit