I had my annual shepherding call with them. They invited themselves over through my wife then when they got in my home, it was me they were primarily interested in talking to. My wife conveniently found "other things to do" as she always does when they come around. They tried their usual "guit tripping" tactics which I easily deflected and then when they figured they weren't getting anywhere, the "you're doing something wrong" insinuation. Stopped them cold in their tracks by reminding them that we were having a Bible discussion and not an analysis on what I might or might not be doing wrong. They were pretty much done with me after that.
Elders or Marriage Counselors?!?!?! (Read This One)
by thepackage 14 Replies latest jw friends
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Bumble Bee
I remember feeling so guilty because I had to go care for my parents over many weekends. I did not go as often as I should have because I felt that I must be out in service with the Book Study more regularly, etc. If only I could redo things, I would have gone more often, and stayed longer just to be with them. It is too late to be with my father now. He is dead, and at the end things were so difficult and I could have been closer to him.
Quandry, something similar happend to me. When my father was ill in the hospital, no one from his cong came to visit him. He was in another city about a 35-45 minute drive away and in isolation. What the elders did was to contact an elder in that city to go and visit him. One elder. This elder I must say was a wonderful man and offered my mother comfort and hospitality.
When the elders questioned me on my missed meetings, I explained the situation with my parents (both were ill at the time). The one elder told me to tell them that it was meeting night and I could not come over to help them, it would have to be at another time. The meetings were to come first.
Please don't feel guilty. I'm sure your father appreciated all the time you did get to spend with him. If your parents are JW's then they would have understood about the meetings and FS. Don't beat yourself up - the time we have with our loved ones never seems like enough.
BB
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thepackage
I have yet to meet an Elder who was understanding. Going to meetings does not make you a better person nor does it solve family problems. The WTS enjoys when something happens to a “lost sheep” so they can use them as an explain of what not to do. I hate the fact the JW’s feel that they “HAVE” to be at meeting.
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anewme
YOU HAVE TO BE AT A MEETING????????
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Forscher
My father (local Presiding Overseer) and mother have offered for my wife to separate from me and move in with them.
Can anyone say "Alienation of Affection?" Fortunately, my wife told me about it. She didn't let it poison her mind or our relationship.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul
God that sounds so familiar Auldsoul! Almost 20 years ago my inlaws went behind my back to my wife and offered to move her back home, about 800 miles away, you used to live there. The offer was on the condition that she would leave me behind! At the time, I was the one who was "spiritual" and trying to keep my wife in the organization! The fact was that they'd never accepted my wife's divorce from her first husband and remarraige to me (despite the fact that it was all completely by the book. He'd run around on her and divorced her). And they were just trying to break us up. Bastards!!!!
Sometimes I think the reason for our success in marraige is due to our keeping the elders out of our problems and working them out for ourselves. My wife had seen for herself what those wrecking-ball elders could do for a marraige and fully agreed that they had no business in ours.
Forscher