The Judicial Committee Has Been Formed (page 3)

I quit!

I would go with something similar to DocBob's letter. When I left and was to have a meeting with them I sent off a letter not half as good or extensive as Doc's and they never bothered me again. They're not used to having someone take control by questioning their methods. They're much better at bulling sheep.

sspo

Enjoyed your letter Bob.

One of this day i will use it and let know how it works out.

sspo

She then turned all my emails over to elders in my area

What a colossal BITCH!

How about having your wife of 26 years turning you in for apostasy and having to meet immediately with the whole body of elders to discuss my views on the GB.

LennyinBluemont

Thank you, everyone, for your comments. And yes, Bob, as I said in the PM, that is some letter! Thanks for permission to use it, or parts thereof. As to suing the "sister" that outed me, first of all, her guarantee in writing is in an email, so, without a signature it may be hard to prove. She could, after all, use theocratic warfare to deny it. Also, she, to my knowledge, does not have deep pockets. Now the elders. . . . .well they drove up to my home in a nice new shiny black Cadillac Escalade. Ooooooooo, men in black! I'm still having moments when I'd like to confront them and throw a barrage of questions at them regarding the UN, how is it not a violation of neutrality, and how dare they accuse me of violating a doctrine of political neutrality, when the org was humping the UN for ten years.

jgnat

Don't sue the lady. But I see nothing wrong with telling her she has no integrity, and has lost your respect and admiration permanently. After all, you are a quality person. She should regret the loss of your friendship.

LennyinBluemont

jgnat, I did write her a final email telling her off and letting her know that her betrayal and dishonesty was the strongest argument against her position of defending the Society. She wrote back telling me that she had deleted that email without reading it, and didn't want to read anymore "vomit".

Also, someone asked about my wife. She left in April of 2005.

Thanks again, all. Really appreciate the time you've taken here.

jgnat

Oh, how JW's will justify themselves. It must be from all that experience watching the Watchtower Society do it.

She wrote back telling me that she had deleted that email without reading it, and didn't want to read anymore "vomit".

SUUURE. She read it. Just like the JW apologists who storm off here lallalalala with their fingers in their ears. You can count on it, they come back, lurking, gnashing their teeth.

Double Edge

I did write her a final email telling her off and letting her know that her betrayal and dishonesty was the strongest argument against her position of defending the Society. She wrote back telling me that she had deleted that email without reading it, and didn't want to read anymore "vomit".

Oh pleeeeeeze.... if that was really the case, she would have just deleted it and not notified you.....who's she kidding?

czarofmischief

My perspective on this issue is based on being out and clear for several years now. I will not make any assumptions about your experience or reactions. I just want to tell you what I went through and how I feel about it now.

When the committee met with me I was so frightened. It was like a roller coaster of emotion, up and down. I realize now that I was in the grip of a powerful subconscious battle between the two "realities" I was struggling to reconcile - the JW worldview, and everything else I'd learned. I pleaded with the elders to let me remain. When they told me I would be disfellowshipped it was like a kick in the throat. I couldn't breathe. It was like a kind of death, or what I always imagined death to be like.

The utter destruction of my former self occurred slowly, over the next year or so [brought to an end only by this board and what I learned on it, hence my periodic return]. From then on I was regrowing a new self, a new identity.

Now here I am, my career is successful, I have a wonderful family, and my former life honestly doesn't trouble me much at all. I realize that those I thought were my friends were actually ensnared in the same web I had been, and I could forgive them for the shunning - including my family, although I never forgot it. Even the elders that disfellowshipped me so unfairly, so coldly, seem in the end to be merely pathetic, frightened old men in bad suits, cutting themselves off from the world in search of an impossible level of security. I have contempt for them, although no longer being a Christian, I am not obligated to forgive them, either.

My "death" at that time was merely the gateway to a much better, fulfilling life. Even more spiritual, in ways I could never have conceived of as a Jehovah's Witness. I'm more mature, because my emotional development was no longer being stunted by a warped and constrictive set of nonsensical rules. I am more truly disciplined, being a good person because I WANT to be, not out of fear. And more invested in my life, not constantly spending my days marking off the calendar to the imaginary date of Armageddon.

In short, a clean break was the best thing that ever happened to me. I hope it works out this way for you - but in any case I don't think you can continue to wrestle the dissonance of the "slow fade". I've always felt that it was conflict avoidance; but then not everyone is strong enough to argue with those elders. But they can't hurt you - they can only set you free.

Good Luck...

CZAR

Quandry

Hello again.

Well, you knew it was inevitable that they come for you. At least the waiting is over. There will be closure to an extent.

I will have to say that from my husband's and my visits with elders, it is a frustrating and demeaning experience. It can feel like you are in the twilight zone. No matter what you say, they don't seem to hear it. If you ask a question, they may not respond with anything remotely like an answer. What you hear will not be what they heard, etc.

You may not emerge from the committee with a feeling of accomplishment. You may just be depressed and frustrated. Didn't you post that you were an elder? You must know how it will go in "the room." The outcome has already been predetermined.

I guess the only thing we can be sure of now is that we are not alone and our numbers are growing.

You and your wife take care.

The Judicial Committee Has Been Formed

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