girlfriend pregnate

by shaun t 27 Replies latest social family

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  shaun t

  hi i have just split from my girlfriend who had been disfellowshipped when i meet her things were great. She got pregnate and we were both thrilled. Now because of her blackmailling mother she has now left me and gone back to the religion. She says that she still loves me but cant be with me cos its not allowed unless i become a jw wich i dont want to. I dont know what to do. any help is appreciated
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  jstalin

  <jerk mode>

  Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that he has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and he can't even spell pregnant?

  </jerk mode>
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  drew sagan

  First of all, welcome to the board. Glad you are here. But I get the feeling that you may be to young or inexpieranced to follow through with what I suggest here. More information will help us understand exacltly what your situation is. Other than that, here are some general rules for situations like this:
  There are a few things you need to do first. Become familiar with the JW religion is the first step. I think you also should get a good understanding of high control groups and the power they can exercise over people. Steven Hassans books are a must read for someone in your situation.
  People are allways going to choose what they think is best for them in the end. Your girlfriend is choosing her family because of the fear not only of her family, but also there is possibly some fear of God as well. You can provide her with something better.
  You have alot of homework to do. There are some great places on the internet where you can start like freeminds.org as well as this board itself. Books by ex-members are key as well.
  Remember that you have to help her replace her destructive beliefs with something better, if not she will allways turn to the JWs as her crutch. Good Luck!
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  Crumpet

  Welcome and congratulations on a successful impregnation! As a new father you have rights and should make sure she is aware of them and that you expect to see your child and that you will forbid it to be raised in a mind-numbing cult.
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  Scully

  <jerk mode> Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that he has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and he can't even spell pregnant? </jerk mode>

  Maybe he can't spell "condom" either.

  Anyway, shaun t, I would suggest that you figure out whether you want to be part of this child's life or not. It sounds as though you do. Plan to do right by the child and be a good father to him or her. Make sure you provide for the child, even if the child's JW grandmother makes it difficult for you. Put money aside for the child for an education, because they probably won't be doing that since it is frowned upon by the religion. Insist on spending time with the child. If you attend religious services, insist on including your child - it is your right as a father - otherwise you will find that the JWs will curtail his exposure to other belief systems and get him to view other peoples' religions as bad (including your own). Talk to a lawyer to find out what your rights and responsibilities are toward this child.
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  jgnat

  Is she under the age of majority (18)? Are you?

  She's obviously living at home. Are you?

  Are you both going to school, or do either of you have a job?

  These questions give me a general idea on your level of independence. If you are both dependent on your parents right now, there is little you can do to get your girlfriend to come back to you. As you have discovered already, she has a manipulative mother and chose her mother over you. You have lost all rights as a boyfriend, and there is no way to get them back without your girlfriend challenging her mother.

  On the other hand, you do have rights and responsibilities as a father. As Scully and Crumpet have pointed out very well, you can insist, legally, that you participate in the child's development.

  This treatment of non-witnesses is not uncommon among the JW's. So just in case you were wondering, you aren't being picked on.
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  Finally-Free

  <jerk mode>

  Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that he has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and he can't even spell pregnant?

  </jerk mode>

  That was the first thing that came to my mind too. W
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  james_woods

  I was more disturbed by the inability to spell "blackmail"...but I think he may have an understanding of the concept pretty soon.
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  willyloman

  Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that he has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and he can't even spell pregnant?

  Apparently, impregnating someone requires little in the way of formal learning.
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  LovesDubs

  Spelling obviously isnt a prerequisite to having sex and not taking precautions. Which is sad for this poster.

  Dude...dont just be another sperm donor. You have created a child and now you need to step up and take responsibility for his upbringing. She nor any of her relatives cannot keep you away from your own baby. Hopefully you have enough moral fiber to do the right thing here and be a part of this babys life. Insist on being there for her doctors appointments and the birth of this child. Her MOTHER or anybody else trying to come between you DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SO.

  You had the balls to make this child together, now have the balls to be its daddy.

  Anybody can be father...it takes a MAN to be a daddy.