Hi Worldly Andre! I can relate to your feelings, completely resonate. I felt the same way at one point. Fortunately for me I was DFed 34 years ago. So, I've had plenty of time to get past it. You will too, and I hope it's a much faster process for you. Namaste. MM
How Many!!!
by Wordly Andre 13 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
okie46
Truthfully, I have made so many stupid decisions in my life, many times I wonder if I would have followed bible counsel better, would I have been happy as a JW? I feel sometimes that I have so many weaknesses that the reason I was never really a good witness was my fault. When I finally left the organization after DA'ing in 2003, after I discovered how hypocritical they had been regarding the UN and other issues. I realized that I am not a bad person, just was overreacting to the stifling oppression that I had lived under since I was 5 years old. I did some things I would have never done otherwise because: 1) I feel I never learned how to make decisions on my own because of how controlled my life was. I didn't learn on my own because someone always told me what to do and what not to do. 2) Because of hating the oppression and control as I got older, I would occasionally lose my inhibitions and do stupid,immoral things that I don't think I would have done if I had grown up in a more relaxed atmosphere............... Of course I would be punished for my bad acts and then I would start all over again, acting right, hoping to be in the organizations good favor again. Now I think back on all of this and when I hear my Mom talk about stuff that is put in the WT, the talks, the Assemblies, it makes me pissed off and tired of the bullshit they put out and I allowed myself to put up with......I am still learning to try and make wise decisions on my own, but at least I don't feel like a failure at every meeting, etc.
-
jayhawk1
So you all are tired of the bullshit?
I'll have you know my former Kingdom Hall was free from bullshit. Nope, not even a cow pie! The sisters did a good job keeping the hall clean and tidy, so there never was any bullshit on the floor.
-
okie46
Jayhawk, that is because the sisters hid in in the cabinets in the library!!