The Dubs seem to have the mindset, that if you are complaining about a problem, you need to be given advice. The fact is, many people are just venting, and a little sympathy is all they're looking for, like Anewme said. Just compassion, and someone to care, not to tell you to go look up a scripture, and have a nice day.
Have you heard, "There are people worse off than you, stop complaining!"
by WingCommander 16 Replies latest jw friends
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jaguarbass
An attitude of gratitude is a good thing. And counting your blessings is essential also. The worlds religions take the wisdom of the world and confound it, they twist it all up, they take the joy out of it.
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jaguarbass
Dont look for any encouragement on how to have a good and successful life at the kingdom hall or from anyone who goes to one. The hall is a dark hole. And the people who enjoy going there are lifeless zombies.
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jaguarbass
Wing commander: this is a life lesson. You have to look to yourself for strength and answers to deal with your problems. No one else, no organization, no religion. Dont complain, keep your mouth shut and dont look to anyone else for encouragement. This will take you far where ever you go on this journey.
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LongHairGal
I also feel there is another very big reason they tell you to stop complaining...in a very sneaky psychological way they are preparing you to accept the abuse you will get from everybody there.
This all goes hand in hand with the guilt-trips they want you to feel whenever you say NO to somebody who is overstepping their boundaries. And, believe me, the people will definitely overstep their boundaries. This is all done with your permission, of course. I realized this early on and learned to say no. This didn't make me very popular but I didn't care. I live my life on my own terms.
A lot of people (esp. women) allowed themselves to be used because they thought it was required of them to be a Christian. Maybe they thought they were getting points or a reservation in the new system. But, what about self-esteem and self-love? They don't want you to have that. I also noticed it was usually the same ones who got used. Young singles (esp. women) were targeted for favors of every sort by very nervy individuals there!
If you went to complain about being ill-used you were usually told that it was your fault for not using discernment or some such thing. God forbid you got into some business arrangement and got defrauded. They don't want you to go to courts of course (bad publicity). Yes, somebody should "steal" from you in the name of god or religion and you should just take it. I wanted no dealings with anybody there.
As they say, let the buyer beware.
LHG -
uwishufish
When someone complains to me. They get the standard reply, # 47. It could be worse It could be me.
Uwuf
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sass_my_frass
Yeah I've heard it and it sucked, but I think I've also said it too. I think that to some degree it is true, but it's not something that should be said. When I had depression, one of the things that got me out of it was forcing myself to help others who were in worse-off situations. It was literally something I made myself do so that I could be around people who are worse off than I am. I did a lot of volunteer work with some adults who had intellectual disabilities, and some older folks. During that time, the truth of the phrase 'it could be worse' really rang true to me, and it has stayed with me since. These days when I'm really down, I start with a list of things that aren't wrong with me. The list gets pretty big before it starts making me feel better, but it is a bit of a reality check and now that I've convinced myself that it is true, it helps. Maybe you could try the same thing, it might help, it might not, I've got no clue. Helped me though.