Sadly, they both waited until they had a wife and three kids before deciding to come out.
You know I was one of those that tried to be straight. Many people here know my story already. A lot of us wanted nothing more than to be "normal" and not an abomination. Self hatred is rampant, and suicide. I hid it deep in my sub conscious, never admitting to myself there was a possiblity even with so many things that should have led me to that immediate conclusion.
But we were told if you prayed hard enough, if you filled your life with spiritual things, if you found the right man or woman, if you were patient, and lived their way, eventually in the new system god would cure you to be normal and all those "feelings" would go away.
Trouble is, that is a false scenario. For one thing, it doesn't work, and for another there is no cure. So I tried it for 15 years, with one son. That marriage finally broke up because of other reasons (namely I grew a bit tired of the abuse and the elders and my families admonition that I must be the cause of it, being the weaker vessel). But that did not deter me. I tried it again, because I was sure that if I just tried harder it would work. Well I never did get cured. But I did finally come to my senses that I was living a delusion.
So now I am a very happy (for the most part) gay woman. I am not ashamed of who I am. And by the way, I have a great relationship with my son. He tells me all the time he loves me. He is also unabashadly heterosexual, it must have been something I did in his early childhood to make him turn out that way!
I hope you will think about how hard it is on us too. We don't set out to come out "after" we have a spouse and kids. If the religion would get a clue about some simple biology we wouldn't have to try to pretend to be someone we are not, we would not have to risk losing our kids to suicide, who think it is better to die than come out of the closet. My 16 year old nephew did that about 5 years ago. We might end up just being able to lead normal lives from a much younger age.
Wouldn't that be something?
Sherry