Having never been DFd or DAd, I really don't know the ins-and-outs of the judicial process well enough to say whether it would be worth it to jump through those flaming hoops of $h!t for the sake of my family members' respective Bible Trained Consciences™ to associate with me again.
Your friend really needs to consider how much psychological and emotional abuse he is willing to tolerate, and whether or not he is willing to tolerate the fact that he is merely going through the motions and living a lie in order to please other people who are more than happy to cut ties with him as a form of emotional blackmail to get him to return to the Organization™. As others have mentioned, a lot is going to depend on whether he is in the same congregation from where he was DFd in the first place, and whether the original JC that DFd him would be willing to listen to the recommendation of a committee from outside that congregation in the event that he's moved. It might be a lot easier to attend a congregation where you are not known, because the people there have no emotional investment in your return.
What happens if 6 months turns into 9 months? and 9 months turns into a year? and then a year and a half? I believe jgnat's hubby is going through this kind of extended and protracted psychological torture at the hands of the Body of Elders™, trying to prove himself sufficiently worthy of their special brand of Forgiveness™. Just how much of this crap is your friend willing to put up with, all the while his family is still not able to associate with him? I know someone who told the elders that he wanted to be Reinstated™ and when they realized that he was interested in resuming a relationship with his family (including grandchildren whom he has never met) they told him that his Heart Condition™ wasn't right, and they would not consider his request for Reinstatement™. This was after attending all the meetings for a year and jumping through all their hoops in the meantime.
While I know that I would not permit myself to be subjected to this manner of cruelty, even if it meant that my family never spoke to me or saw me again (they don't speak to me as it is, and I'm only Inactive™), I think it really depends on which family members are shunning you and what kind of relationship you had with them before the shunning began. I'm lucky enough to have gotten out with my husband and my kids, and have one sibling who shuns me, while the others never became JWs. My parents have very limited contact, and I learned a long time ago that the way to deal with people who have shunned me once is to shun them right back. I hear that mother was very insulted that I did not want to speak to her the last time I phoned their house (mainly, imo, because I didn't give her an opportunity to hang up on me). If Mr Scully and the kids had stayed in the JWs, I can pretty much guarantee that my activity would be sooooo much more covert and guarded.
There is a lot to be said for personal integrity too. If your friend is thinking of doing this in terms of "putting one over" on the Elders™ just to get his family back, that's fine. But once you're back in, little by little, the expectations to Study™ with an Elder™, or have Regular Meeting Attendance™, and have a respectable Field Service Report™ are going to creep up and they are going to want more, and more, and more. If your friend's stomach can handle it maybe it really is worth it to him.
It's a tough decision, and I'm sure not one he's making lightly. I wish him the best of luck. At least we're all here for him to vent to if he needs it.
