Reverse Shunning

by uwishufish 21 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  My boyfriend told the jws who called on him to confirm his da letter that he didn't want to receive any more calls from them, as he wouldn't be changing his mind and looking for reinstatement. They weren't happy about his attitude, so he said "you are going to ignore me 99% of the time anyway, let's make it 100%, ok?"

  They then asked if it was ok to check occasionally to see if he still lves here, to which he said "if I move on, I'll remove the sign in the window that says no jws: I'll need it to put in my next home"

  They asked "what sign?", and he said "the one I'm going to put up at the end of this conversation". Then he closed the door in their faces and put his sign up.

  Apart from a visit around last Christmas, which we think was a mistake, and was by 2 jws we didn't know, maybe people visiting jw relatives in the area, we haven't been bothered since then. They didn't invite us to the dc, although the other 5 flats in the block got invites, so they are respecting our wishes.
• 

  garybuss

  The Witness people are the ones who chose the game of hardball, but when I put some spit on that ball and send it back harder, they often don't like it. What a surprise! I wasn't the one looking for a fight. If they remember, I was the guy out looking for some answers to some real questions.
  If they want to meet questions with a fight, heck, I can play that game!
  
  
• 

  Jim_TX

  'reverse shunning' never really works. All it does is reinforce their 'persecution' complex. (Mental someone sitting in ashes wringing their hands saying 'woe is me'*)

  Anyway. What I have found, as a better approach is to NOT shun them. That is - go out of your way to greet them and speak to them. They usually do not know how to handle this, as you're not 'playing by the rules'.

  Try it. You may like it. It's lottsa fun.

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  Finally-Free

  I don't discriminate against JWs - I shun everyone who is an asshole. It's not my fault if most JWs fall into that category.

  The only one I don't shun is my mom.

  W
• 

  LongHairGal

  Gary B:
  
  I know what you mean about hit-and-run shunners. The hypocrites who realize they need something and realize it wouldn't be wise to shut you out.
  
  This was a real issue with me.
  
  What would happen if these "shunners" were in trouble and their so-called spiritual friends were not around and were on vacation somewhere?? Would they seriously expect a person who they were shunning to help them? (And I mean REAL shunning - not just the hot and cold treatment that some people give you.) By what right do they expect this?
  
  They shouldn't even be looking in that person's direction. And IF that person was a bigger person and DID help them, they certainly are NOT deserving, by any stretch of the imagination!
  
  
  LHG
• 

  garybuss

  Some of the Witnesses here seem to imagine that I have a REAL bad memory. Like, I won't remember they refused to say a greeting to me last week, or that they insulted me last month.
  Most Witnesses I know are the lowest level of society. They show no manners, no ethics, and no honesty. The vast majority of them just don't meet my minimum standards for an associate. There's absolutely nothing I can do about that.
  
  
• 

  undercover

  I'm not DFd or DAd so it might not apply in my case as much but I'll my two cents worth:

  I still have lots of contact with JWs, including family. I try my best to be friends with all that I was friends with before. If they make it clear that they don't want to associate with me, then it's their problem, not mine. They can act the horses' ass if they want, but I'll go on trying to be a nice guy as much as possible.

  There are certain JWs that I will avoid, not because they're JWs but because I just plain don't like them...period. It wouldn't matter what religion they were, they're jerks and I avoid them as such.
• 

  LongHairGal

  Gary Buss:
  
  You are right about how most don't meet the minimum standard for an associate.
  
  The problem is: what happens if one of these morons finds themselves working at the same place as you because stranger things have happened? This is where their idiot shunning routine will get them into trouble because many of them are not smart or sophisticated enough to realize they can't behave this way on somebody ELSE's work premises who is paying them. They imagine everywhere they go is like being in the hall.
  
  Personally, I don't care if somebody doesn't want to be my friend. The problem arises if this person finds themselves as my co-worker. They have to talk whether they like it or not because their job requires an interaction with other people. Also, what about now in the age of terrorism where some emergency can break out?
  
  What would this idiot do: refuse to communicate?
  
  L
• 

  garybuss

  If I'm discriminated against at work because of my religion, or because of my choice of wanting to be free from religion, I'll file every complaint available to me. I'm self employed and I mostly work alone so I have never had to face shunning in the workplace. I'll tell ya I just wouldn't put up with it for one second. I'd start a file.
  In the United States, religion is a protected class in housing and it's a protected class in the workplace. There's no harassment allowed based on religion. That means I don't hassle anybody else because of their religion.
  
  
• 

  looking_glass

  I agree w/ undercover 100%!