Funny story about dumb JW rules

by cookiemaster 33 Replies latest jw experiences

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  adjusted knowledge

  I was baptized in 1992 at Plant City, Florida. After I was baptized I met up with my JW friend who was an Elder's son. He was given the privilege to guard a door. He needed to use the restroom, and asked me to watch the door. I agreed, but this Elder in charge of security asked me if I was baptize. I informed him I was, and in fact got baptized today. This pious, righteous, and hand pick man of God, told me, "Oh well that's not long enough to have this privilege." That was the beginning of my awakening. Quite funny, the day I began to awake was at age 15 on my baptism.

  I began wandering the assembly hall after that incident, and noted so much hypocrisy. One notable example of nepotism and elitism was the room where contributions were counted. Inside this room was the Elders counting the money, but also were the Elders' wives and children. I wasn't allowed in there, being the son an unbeliever. There were four and five years running around, mothers breast feeding, and a nice cliche of the social elites.

  I wonder if this behavior still exist? Anyone still active know if these things still go on in the local Halls and Assemblies?
  
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  FayeDunaway

  The issue wasn't wearing a size medium shirt, it was wearing a shirt with medium sized letters on them (Nike, maybe? Coke?) they tell you you can't get baptized in any shirt that has words on it, it's too 'worldly'. I wonder if a shirt with THEIR logo on it would be ok. :)
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  ToesUp

  Funny thing...I started waking up when I was about 14 years old. Too bad I didn't act on it. The only positive outcome was a wonderful lifetime mate (who exited this cult with me) and wonderful kids. Thank goodness for that!!!!
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  FayeDunaway

  That makes ALL the difference, if your spouse exited WITH YOU. I've been super lucky too. If I had known it would have turned out this well it would have saved me a LOT of worry going through it!
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  rebel8

  I know they're morons about everything, but how could they possibly write such an idiotic thing?

  I've no doubt that they could...but they didn't.

  It's an adaptation of "Are cats for Christians," which is available on numerous ex-jw websites. If you Google the title, you'll find it.
  
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  WTWizard

  I hope that hounder is stupid enough to do the Israel mission this spring, the dollar becomes toilet paper while they are there, and that hounder gets stuck in Tel Aviv for several months. Then, that thing has to swim home--sharks and frigid waters and all. Only to find out that its home is foreclosed because the bank wants payment in gold and silver.

  It's one thing if it is one adult. But, when children are involved, their safety should trump the rule against getting in a car with someone who is disfellowshipped, or a disfellowshipped mother with children accepting a ride from someone in good standing. Shame on all those who could have offered this family a ride home and did not, including this hounder. I think the whole congregation itself, not just the members, should be disfellowshipped for putting those children in danger especially if it's a busy highway they have to cross or they have more than about 2 kilometers to walk.

  I think most of the rules are stupid and pointless. Since when is it evil to wear colored dress shirts or socks, have a bright yellow umbrella (so people in cars can see it easily), a couple of rounds of silver or gold (just in case), or to attend a Grand Boasting Session closer to where you live instead of the one you are assigned? Is joke-hova that petty that it will destroy you because of a scuff mark on your shoe? Or because your lunch bag has its brand name on it? Or even because your hair is a few millimeters too long or short? Or, demanding so much that people are damned to be poor? It is simply a waste of everything, intended to tie in with the LIE-ble and its curses against humanity.

  One rule that is not stupid: Do not go on that Israel mission at all. It is totally pointless, besides risking black magic against the whole human race if you place as much as a waste of paper with a rabbi. If you insist on going on missionary work at all, find some place where you might get results and a group that will support you properly. Even that I do not recommend. But, absolutely, definitely, do NOT do the Israel mission!
  
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  Awake at last

  So I can't have a medium Coke at McDonalds! If I have a large one, I will become large so will be thought of as gluttonous. I will have to have a small one, which is good. Thank you WTBTS for looking after my waistline and health.
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  DwainBowman

  I love it! I so want to post it on my othr FB page!

  Dwain
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  cookiemaster

  Rebel8 - I see. Well, now I feel like a moron for not realizing it was a joke, but honestly it's too hard to tell the difference these days. Most of the things they write seem to be a joke.
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  cookiemaster

  Also, I remember they actually wrote an article sometime ago about people investing too much time and effort into their pets and treating them like idols, LOL.