How deep did you search to finally quit being a JW? (page 3)

Moomin

Thanks Ian :)

Sometimes I just want to tell everyone everything otherwise I might combust or something.

I made that mistake during my time with the witnesses as I had begun my association with them as being very open and honest. After a while they would expect me to tell them anything they wanted to know. At times their questions made me very uncomfortable and I felt they had no respect for my privacy.

By that point I regretted my openness and decided to be a closed book but as my mum said who studied with them years ago, you just can't be a private person with them.

garybuss

I was raised as a Witness by two hard core believing Witness parents. Witnessism was my core belief. There was no reason to question any of it. I see now I was more loyal to my parents who were Witness believers than I was a Witness believer myself. Later, after I got married at age 23, I see now I was more loyal to my wife who was a Witness believer than I was a Witness believer myself.
The prediction of 1975 was my preset walkaway point after my wife died in 1971. Other Witnesses were watching the world and the news on TV, I was watching the Watch Tower Society. When I saw the year text for 1974, I kicked the door of the Kingdom Hall on my way out.
It would have ended there except I was married again to another Witness who I liked a lot, and I had a two year old and a baby to think about.
I had been raised in a terrible situation, and by marrying a Witness woman and having children with her, I created another challenging living situation. Leaving the Witness was the easy part.

Lady Liberty

Goodmorning all..

It took me about a year of daily almost all-consuming research before I could no longer go back. I was raised in a very active household. So roots grew deep. However, it was by tring to PROVE 607 was factual, that Pandoras box was opened for me. I was one that wanted absolute proof that the Witnesses were wrong before I gave up my confidence that they were God's sole channel. I was scared at what I may find when I started my research, but I felt that truth would stand any examination. And that if it really was truth it would only bolster my faith. And if it wasn't truth, did I just want to have my ears tickled because it was ingrained in me all my life? I had a conscience to hold me accountable. I still check and double check EVERYTHING! I want to make sure that my actions are not offending Jehovah or Christ Jesus, so for me research is very important. One thing I have realized. NO ONE has all the answers, I thought the Society did, but after close examination, it doesn't take long to see they are just guessing too. I have concluded what matters most is my relationship with my God and his Son, and my neighbor. Faith and Love...if I have these, their love and mercy will cover over the rest.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

james_woods

My case took about 3 years of extremely intense research, post 1975. There was obviously something wrong when that kind of prophecy gets made, fails, and is later denied. I had known about 5 years earlier that the "Jehovah" substitutions in the NWT were suspect, but put that down to mostly honest errors of scholarship. I was an elder in good standing, but just could not stomach the hypocrisy over that false prophesy.

As a result, I started talking about this with Marion Dunlap; he was the respected city overseer in Okla City at the time. He was a paperhanger, and did many jobs for my family construction company. He and I talked for hours while he was on our jobs - I had to go around and inspect the jobsites. He told me "off the record" that he was very concerned as well - and also told me of the developing scandal about his brother Ed and Ray Franz. We watched the whole thing develop in those few years...and did the research to prove it to ourselves.

We were both out by 1981. It was only later that I had the chance to read COC - my first contact with the scandal was word of mouth while Ed and Ray were still in Bethel and trying to work for reform. It was about a year or so later that they both got kicked out of Bethel - and then later still when they were finally disfellowshipped.

It took at least 5 more years to get the bad taste out of my mouth and get past the disgust and hatred.

James

Lady Liberty

Dear James,

It must have been quite something to finally read COC. I am glad you took a stand for truth, and I am glad you posted this here. Is Ed Dunlap still alive?? I feel so bad for what those brothers had to go through. But I am very grateful for Ray's book exposing and giving answers to what so many had wondered about for so long.

SIncerely,

Lady Liberty

Swan

Like others, I had doubts, but didn't do any research. Ultimately my search was inward, and it was a very deep searching of my feelings. My feelings told me something was wrong and it was time to quit pretending.

Tammy

fullofdoubtnow

I didn't research for long before I realised it wasn't the truth. Once I made my mind up about that,I got out, and it was only a matter of a couple of months between starting looking and leaving, although I'd had some doubts for a while.

karen96

I didn't do a lot of research at first. I was trying to leave my elder husband, and I knew I probably wouldn't come back. About the same time, the "new light" came about the 1914 generation, and I remember thinking "they are really grasping at straws as time goes on". I had been out for about 6 years when I found this site, then read CoC. What an eye opener.

karen

james_woods

Thanks for your comments, Lady Liberty...

Ed passed away some years ago, mid nineties as I recall. Marion passed away about a year ago last August, and in fact that was the reason I finally registered on this forum - to let people know what had happened to them if some did not. I stayed in touch with both as long as they were alive. I did not know Ray Franz very well, just met him once or twice I think...but you are right - that book sure was a blast from the past when I read it after having lived through the big "apostate frenzy" with them!

Neither of the Dunlap's ever tried to form their own group, as was often falsely rumored - they just stayed to themselves and communicated to their family and a few close friends. They were both extremely humble people (but unbelievably well read on the Bible). Not many know this also, but Marion's wife Edith never left the witnesses, nor ever forgave Marion for doing so. She died before him and he was extremely kind to her all the way to the end. Many witnesses just ignored her after she had to go to the nursing home.

The only one of the elder Dunlaps left alive now is Ed's widow Betty - she became a librarian to support herself in OKC after Bethel, but she told me the other day she is making arrangements to move back to native Australia where some non-JW family will help her get into an assisted living situation.

They were all great people.

Asheron

I didnt do any research prior to leaving. I asked some elders some questions and that led me to the door.

Here are a few of the questions:

1. Did Cain and Abel marry thier sisters? If so, why is it now considerered a sin to marry even a cousin? I asked this in respose to an Elders statement that morals are absolute and Jehovah doesnt "change his face"

2. Why is having an organ transplant a matter of consience when having a blood transfusion is wrong? There are most certainly blood cells in the transplanted organ when it is placed in your body. Do you violate Jehovahs law if you only take a few cells or is it ok if you dont know about them?

3. Why cant we talk to a DF person if Jesus talked to a prostitute? Surly a person commiting intentional sin is less moral than someone than someone who made a one or two sin mistake?

4. How can we be sure we are "Jehovah Chosen People" if some of our teachings are wrong? (regarding New Light) What percentage of our Bible understanding has to be correct to be considered Jah's people? 100%? 90% 80% ? What if some of the core beliefs are wrong? Are they more important that smaller things?

I did not ask these in a confrontational manner and I truely wanted some answers. I was 17 years old when I asked these and I had many more but the answer was the same to every one. Trust in Jehovah and dont worry about these things. As I asked more questions the Elders started treating me colder and colder and finally wouldnt talk to me any more. In fact one of them told my mom "he is to smart for his own good and he will be destoyed at armageddon if he doesnt become more humble". One of the Elders told my mom that she should throw me out of the house if I continued to question the teachings. She did.

How deep did you search to finally quit being a JW?

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