Why does LOVE hurt so bad ?

by oldflame 52 Replies latest jw friends

  • oldflame
    oldflame

    I am a 45 year old man who has lived a single life for so long, for too long. I have dated several in the past few years andhave got serious a time or two. But it never fails when someone comes along that really trips your trigger, you fall so hard for someone who really fits your wants needs and desires in everyway a man could want and then it happens. She has just left an boozer who is abusive. So I try show her how not all men are like that and that there are men in the world who really do respect women and cherish every one of them and it seems your making head way and you begin to feel like finally someone in your life whom you can really enjoy a life with, and then what happens ? They go back to the looser abusive drunk ! Man this shit hurts like a hurt never before. I got a very deep feeling for this woman and she knows who I am and what I am. A genuine man who has values and a very deep passion when it comes to relationships.

    I feel that if your a looser your the winner, it always goes that way and I don't understand why ? Maybe some of you woemn here on the board can explain to me why is this. Why does the perfect woman always fall for the loosers ? Why is it that a real ladies man never gets the gift of love ? That's all I want in life is too love someone for the rest of my life but it seems like a very long road that never ends.. Someone please help me to understand this before it is too late !

  • luna2
    luna2

    Sorry, OF. That's really rotten. I don't have the answers for ya as I'm pretty clueless about relationships. Maybe she'll just go back for a short time...realize that he's not worth it...and come back to you. I'm hoping so, anyhow.

  • oldflame
    oldflame

    Luna2,

    Hi , I have never hurt this bad in all my life, it's bringing me down to a very bad state of depression causing me to think very bad thoughts !

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    Oh god, I dont know, but ive heard that story so many times.

    Maybe there is a need inside some women to 'redeem' a bad man. Maybe it satisfies some need to be needed, to be useful. Maybe if you are sorted out and dont have any big problems to solve some women feel redundant.

    I dunno, but im really sorry you are hurting so bad. You deserve a woman who sees and values your qualities, not one who wants to heal a drunk. Id say it says more about her than you.

  • schne_belly
    schne_belly

    I'm sorry you are in such pain Oldflame...

    Why does the perfect woman always fall for the loosers




    Maybe the answer to your question is these women have no self respect. They may feel they don't deserve a truly good, repectful guy such as yourself?! They don't know how to deal with someone who won't beat them and make them feel like crap.

    Be patient...the right someone WILL come along, and it'll be worth the wait!

  • Sad emo
    Sad emo

    Hope it works out for you Oldflame.

    I'm certainly no expert but my guess is that it might fear based with her?

    Either afraid he might harm her - or he threatened to harm himself, thus emotionally blackmailing her (or in a way emotionally blackmailing herself even, via false guilt).

    Sometimes too when we've been in an abusive situation, we get afraid and run the opposite direction when someone is actually nice to us - we 'don't deserve it', or there 'must be an ulterior motive', so in a real crappy, distorted kind of way, we feel 'safer' in an abusive relationship if we ever manage to find any at all.

    Just my immediate thoughts, maybe someone might be able to expand on them.

  • lowden
    lowden
    KITTEN said "Id say it says more about her than you."

    That's on the money IMO!

    Anyone....ANYONE that goes back to an abusive mate is unquestionably dysfunctional.

    There's nothing wrong with you my friend.

    For the time being you really must try and roll with it.

    Peace and a calm heart to ya.

    Lowden

  • oldflame
    oldflame

    Thanks everyone . Man I am just dying inside . I am sure most of us knows those feelings, you know the kind that makes your gut wrench . I think I'd rather be shot than have this kind of pain. I am so in love with this woman and I would give her the world.

  • luna2
    luna2

    (((oldflame))) Is there a friend you could call or get together with? Maybe doing something or talking to someone might help a bit.

  • mama1119
    mama1119

    I am sorry you are hurting. What a tough situation. But, be assured, it is not you. Some women have that draw to "bad boys".

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit