I can't speak for others but it was definetely not ego for me. One reason that this is probably so is because as a female, you are not joining an organization that is going to recognize your abilities or talents. You are not going to be in any position of authority or any limelight. Any ego was squashed by being told over and over that you are on the bottom rung of subjection. And you could not forget that fact, for you were continually reminded at the meetings.
I truly thought I was serving God. That is the only reason that I was willing to go in service over and over to people who looked down on me and did not want to see me. Also, my family was opposed, and this caused much pain.
However, I was in this organization for over thirty years, being baptised as a young adult. I have seen small men with gigantic egos.I have heard talks from elders telling others that they should be pioneers when they weren't, telling others that we should not be materialistic when they had lots of money, saying that we must be at all the meetings when they had jobs that kept them from being regular.
Then there were those who assigned the cleaning, but had "important duties" to attend to so that they could not do the labor themselves. Ususlly this entailed standing around discussing vital "elderspeak." The elder who was instrumental in df'ing my daughter wore a white t shirt to the book study on a Sat. morning because all were to do yard work on our new hall, and were instructed that we could wear work clothing to the study. Of course, after the study was over, he stood around talking for a few minutes, got in his car and left, leaving the rest of us to do the yard work in close to 100 degree Texas heat. What really got me was that at this time my teen daughter was appealing her df'ing and was THERE WITH US PULLING WEEDS IN THE HEAT AFTER HE LEFT!!!!!
Oh, I guess the list could go on. Most of the ones who are truly egotistical are still in. Gotta have regular shots of adulation. Seems the ones who were sincere have since found out obout the egotism and are now posting their stories here.
