Dear All,
Why can we not get on with our lives and let go of what we have all been through? Why are we all still so angry and frustrated?
It's wonderful to post here, but do any of us ever recover?
r.
Why is it we can't let go and get on?
by restrangled 12 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
Alcoholics recover; abuse victims recover; cancer victims recover; some feel it is better not to be involved in the recovery issue after their own their personal recovery, some stay to help others get out and recover. That is what support groups are all about.
Because a person stays to help others does not mean they have not recovered themselves.
Blondie
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inbyathread
Hello, My name is Inbyathread
Group: (Hi, Inbyathread)
I've been a recovering JW for a year now.
We don't ever really recover. There are some scars that will last a lifetime. We all do move on in different sorts.
Like AA and NA programs this is a CA program (Cults Anonymous)
We give and receive support during the difficult times. If we truly moved on then who would offer assistance and encouragement to the newbies that are coming to this site on a daily basis.
There are many here that have made the transition. They haved moved on and are no longer part of the forum. I am glad for them as they can say they are ready to face the world. Others however have also made that same transition but have stayed to help others. They are friends in the best sense of the word. They stick around during the bad times. They cry when we cry and sing songs when we are glad.
I don't think that we all are angry but frustrated is a good word to use. It is frustrating to see present and former friends blindly following a man-made org. No matter what we say they dig their heels in further. When someone finds something that works we all try it and share how it worked in our area. We hear updates of legal and medical situations that the rank and file don't ever hear because the society doesn't want them to know.
If we don't help, who will?
IBAT
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inbyathread
O Blondie you beat me to it. I must have been typing as you posted.(Also put grandchild to bed)
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Arthur
It's wonderful to post here, but do any of us ever recover?
Absolutely. I have corresponded with a few. I look forward to the day when I will have "recovered". I think that the "blowing off some steam" is a perfectly normal part of the recovery process. Remember: we come from an environment where nobody is allowed to express any kind of independent thought. There is absolutely no disagreement or discussion allowed. It's very similar to the Communist Party under Chairman Mao. Anyone who didn't go along with the party line was punished or purged.
It is only natural for people like us who come from a totalitarian cult-like environment to blow off steam for a while. This is something that we were never allowed to do for many years. It has felt very good for me to finally be able to let out my true feelings and to be able to express them without fear. I certainly don't intend to stay angry forever. Just long enough to let it out. This anger had been bottled up for many years.
One cannot heal from deep-rooted anger until they address it, and then express it. When they have expressed it and dealt with it, then they are in a position to help others through the difficult process.
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hambeak
I believe it is the hurt from loved ones and so-called friends we had especially when growing up. We just have to move on and live our life just like when you lose a loved one in death and choose what to believe for our future
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sspo
About 7 years ago, my best friend faded along with wife and kids.
He moved to a new area, bought a house and never went to the KH again, never got DF or Da and he has done real well. Went Back to his "worldly family and friends"
Does not know much at all about 607/1914 / The UN scandal and all the other issues that we constantly talk about, so ignorance has been good to him, he does not feel cheated and deceived and when he meets other witnesses he can freely talk to them and they treat as a freind.
The difference that many on this board have lost family due to DA and Df and that hurts like hell because often you are left alone in the world.
On this board, we are also reminded constantly of other going thru the injustices of the Watchtower and we feel their pain and our own anger flares up.
I do beleive that a break from this board is also good, so far in my case i have not been able to do it because of the turmoil in my own life that the "truth" is putting me thru.
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Lady Lee
If you were in a car accident and came out with a few broken bones and a punctured lung no one would tell you to "Get on with it".
Just because the damage is on the inside doesn't mean we should ignore it.
Sometimes people just need to get away from it all for a while. And that is OK if it works for them.
Others need to find support as soon as possible and it is wonderful that there are places like JWD for them to get that support.
And some go back and forth getting what they need when they need it.
That is what it is like to be an individual, a real person, instead of a robotic clone that spews out programmed responses for just about everything
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riverofdeceit
As long as the wbts is still alive there will be people around to fight against it. I see nothing wrong with that. While it may not still have control over most of us we know what it is doing to those with whom are still inside. It is like... shit, lets us an "illustration". I haven't had to use one in a while. Think of women who have gotten out of an abusive relationship with a husband. Sometimes they decide to put forth the effort to help other women in the same circumstances. Does this mean that they are still being abused by there previous husbands (boyfriends, etc.)? Of course not. But they recognize that many people don't know they still have a choice to leave the abusive relationship. (Crap, I am preaching to myself here. I always get pissed at women who stay in abusive relationships and wonder why they don't just leave). Anyhow, I am rambling and it might be because I have had a few drinks with some friends, so please excuse my lack of an "outline" and other proper writing stuff that I am ignoring.
Think of slaves who have been released or escaped who have decided to try to help other slaves become free. Maybe in order to do that they have to point out the flaws of the master. Maybe they just have to tell there stories. Whatever it is, sometimes letting go and moving on would be ignoring who and why we are. How else to explain to others (and maybe encourage ourselves) other than pointing out what we have been through and what others are still going through? This is something we have escaped. Imagine a concentration camp. Now imagine you have escaped from one. Now imagine that said concentration camp is still in operation. Should you just let it go? What about those still imprisoned? What about those who may soon become victims of it? While that is indeed an extreme illustration and I don't want to sound unfair to those that have indeed decided to forget the past and just "move on" with their lives, some of us have decided that we need to do more, even it just means taking pot shots at the JW religion.
Did that make any sense?
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Grace
Although many of us have seen the true light and left, we're still surrounded by family members who still blindly follow Watchtower. This is why this board is so terrific: it allows us a support system to live through the difficult times with somone who is hoodwinked by a cult organization.
Grace