Thanks I will take the advice to just listen for now . I got a little scared this morning when I thought over our conversation . I just don't ever want to minimize someone's suicidal thoughts ever again. This past winter I knew a young girl that had told my son she was having thoughts of killing herself . I told my son that we should speak to her parents, but he assured me she was seeing a doctor and being treated for her depression . So I didn't get involved ..in March she killed herself . Her parents knew her depression was bad , but really did not think she was having suicidal thoughts .
This is just so sad
by troubled mind 23 Replies latest jw friends
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Scully
She said she had been working very hard for five months to become an aux.pioneer, but the brothers would not approve her application. She said she has never been in any trouble ever and is averageing 10 hours a month in service ( besides working and college) Yet another young sister who has been reproved several times was approved to auxillary . She said she felt like everyone hated her and that if you don't have the right connections then you'll never be really accepted in this hall
That brings back a lot of bitter memories for me.
My application to Pioneer™ got rejected because I wasn't doing enough Return Visits™.... or so they said. I'd never been in trouble, always followed instructions like a good little sheep. And I was devastated when a person who became Inactive™ and was known to have lived with a boyfriend for a few years, decided to come back to the KH. She was never DFd. And six months later, she was accepted to the Pioneer Ranks™. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me - now I know better and that it is something wrong with that effed up cult.
Maybe your friend just needs you to listen, and maybe if she knows that she is not alone in being treated this way it will help her recover some of her self esteem. It sounds to me as though they are trying to get her to a point where she has NO self esteem and will let them walk all over her. Hopefully this tactic will backfire on them and she'll just stop trying. Not everyone needs to Pioneer™. As soon as they told me they couldn't let me be a Pioneer™, and I saw who they were letting Pioneer™, I decided it was time to get a full-time job and look after myself better.
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troubled mind
Done4good , she made the same observation . She said here the congregation will pick up on obscure points in the Watchtower and make rules about things that should be left up to the individual . We both came to the conclusion that the best thing for her would be to get her Degree ( which will be this spring) and then move back to friendlier grounds back in the South .
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troubled mind
Scully...you hit the nail on the head ! that is exactly what they are trying to do to her . She is a smart young woman getting a good education and does not always let them treat her as a second class person . The brothers can't deal with a woman smarter than themselves . Her self image has never been real positive, and she knows I will always set her straight when it comes to self worth .
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Mary
She said she had been working very hard for five months to become an aux.pioneer, but the brothers would not approve her application. She said she has never been in any trouble ever and is averageing 10 hours a month in service ( besides working and college)
I think this is probably the reason why the heartless bastards didn't "approve" her application. College is bad enough for a guy to attend, but is clearly unnecessary for any woman to attend. Plus she's working??!! (of course, I'm curious as to how on earth she'd even have enough time to pioneer if she's working and going to school).
Yet another young sister who has been reproved several times was approved to auxillary . She said she felt like everyone hated her and that if you don't have the right connections then you'll never be really accepted in this hall .
Smart/Educated women are viewed as a threat in any Hall. Especially to the Chesse and Cracker bros, not to mention the toilet scrubbing bros. I will assume this is the unofficial reason why they won't approve her application.
You should tell her that maybe Jehovah has something else in mind for her rather than pioneering........and slowly go from there.
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thepackage
Listen to her and continue to be a friend. Politics in the KH happen all the time and she needs to understand that. Discourage her from talking with the Elders about this since they will not help.
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jaguarbass
The bizzare emotional frustrations we humans put ourselves thru.
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earthtone
Mary,
You are so right. One of the coolest sister at my old KH when I was growing up was a young and independant. I think I meant her before. But anyway she worked fulltime and was a fulltime pioneer. Very smart, took some college classes, so she had a decent job. But the brothers were always up her ass. She did so much with young sister and brothers. Taking us boweling, skating, ice skating, plays. She put in major time and she alway got shitted on for having an independent spirit. Who else was putting in time with us? None of the elders were. She eventually moved because they became so unbearable after she moved out her mom house into her own place. They claimed she was going to end up Df'd because she had too many oportunities to for wrong doing.
Well she left and basically all the young people in the congergation went down fell. It was crazy. I know they even threatened to take away her pioneer privilige if they even heard rumors about her, because they told her to stay put.
Some of those elders are power hungry!
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lesterd
To whom did she dedicate her life too? And whos love is it that she wants? How does she feel about her relationship with Jehovah? These are a few of the root questions she needs to ask herself to truly determine her motives for more service, notice I did not say to pioneer. Jehovah does not bestow titles for service to Him, He is interested in quality of service and devotion, not quantity. What we can do is what we should be doing and in that there is no varying degree of favor or reward. We live under undeserved kindness. Everlasting life is a free gift for us bought with Jesus's life.
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Swan
"Can you promise me that if you feel like ending it all you will give me a call first, anytime, day or night?"
This is a pretty good approach that shows how you are willing to share that load when it gets too heavy. People who make this promise often don't need to avail themselves of it. Just knowing that they are expected to call someone is a deterrent.
Tammy