Questions about Dating a Former Jehovah's Witness

by The wanderer 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  MungoBaobab

  I'm so sorry, but...

  their

  they're

  there
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  crazyblondeb

  I agree with the gals. We are human, just like all the other non xjw's. It seems today everyone tends to carry some type of baggage. Just like in any relationship, there'd have to be something solid to base it on. Being an X is who we were, not who we are now. It may be that common bond, knowing where each one comes from. I know of a couple of xjw couples who are very happy. Their world far from centers around this. But when issues come up, they know where they came from, and can deal with them. It really depends on each person.

  I've tinkered with the idea. But then, I don't seem to have much luck with ANYONE!

  shelley
• 

  Lilycurly

  Actually, becoming an XJW made me a stronger, more open person then if I had never experienced that kind of thing. I got out fairly young, but still like they said, it's life experience and it take some guts, a person that can get out of there is less naive and less prone to be submissive or spineless then those Suzie sisters who are still in, I think.
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  jgnat

  So your tastes in a partner run towards the shallow end of the pool. That's OK, so do mine. I needed a man strong enough to push back if I get too pushy. The milquetoast brothers in my church just did not inspire. I married a contrary, hairy bulk of a man instead.

  Would it be a good idea to become involved with [an ex-JW] or would it be a terrible mistake?

  You don't know until you try. Exiting JW's leave for different reasons and have different levels of maturity. I wouldn't write someone off just because of their label. People are unique enough. Spend some time getting to know the person, what makes them tick, what their joys and loves are, before you decide if they are worthy of your attention.

  Would there be the chance of receiving "damaged goods"?

  Absolutely! At my age, that's all you are going to get. But that's OK, you've got your "baggage" too. The real question to ask, when you discover something odd about your partner, is, "Could I live with that the rest of my life?"

  However, can someone point me in the right direction on meeting a former Jehovah's Witness?

  Uh, you've already done it by starting this post. I wouldn't be surprised if there were some available sisters ladies posting on this thread. Contribute to the flirty posts here on JWD, and attend as many apostafests as you can afford. Nature will take care of the rest.
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  jaguarbass

  
  Recently, I have been having second thoughts regarding dating a former
  
  
  Jehovah's Witness. Perhaps, they are not what they once were? Would
  
  
  it be a good idea to become involved with one or would it be a terrible
  
  
  mistake? Would there be the chance of receiving "damaged goods"?

  Wanderer. Your almost 40 years old. Most likely any relationship you enter at this point will involve a chance of receiving damaged goods. Unless you marry your 7th grade sweetheart thats the deal everyone gets. With a former Jw you might have a better idea of what your getting into then with someone else.
• 

  Rabbit

  After an unscriptural divorce (uber dub wife's idea) I was still a very weak doubting JW, missing meetings. I finally decided after 5 years of celibacy..."this won't work." I thought about looking for a dub to date, but, both of us would have faced DF for adultery since I was not "free to marry."

  Then, I started thinking about dating "worldly" women. They were the only ones left ! I had never met an "Ex-JW"...I didn't know where 'they' went ! I never did find any and frankly, I had had my fill of religious women anyway.

  Eventually, I took "a walk on the wild side" and went "worldly" and *damn*...there are a whole lot of them -- most of the world ! Good selection. I met some real crazy ones and some real nice ones and finally -- I met a gem that would become my wife 3 years ago.

  Looking back...one of the things that truly scared me about XJW's that I saw on-line was..."What if they went back ? What if their 'Bible Trained Conscience ™ -- came back ? What if family pressure was too much ?"

  Knowing what I know now...I would never want to marry and Ex-JW. There is simply too much 'common baggage' we might not compliment each others strengths and weaknesses. My sweet wife has baggage, but, it's a different type of baggage. I help her and she can help me.

  Having said that, it's just my opinion for me. I've seen many couples that are Ex-JW's and they are doing well !

  Different strokes for different folks...

  Rabbits
• 

  Gregor

  Just
• 

  Gregor

  Just being a Former JW does not really narrow down a person to a neat package. There are FJW women who were booted because they liked to close up the bars every night and take somebody home. There are also FJW women who are intelligent and gutsy enough to recognize a screwball cult when they see it. I think you have to take the time and make the effort to find a suitable mate the old fashioned way, court them to get to know them and hold off on the sex until you have a pretty good idea who she is... the JW connection is not that important, IMHO.
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  BabaYaga

  Honey, PLEASE. EVERYBODY on the planet is damaged goods in one way or another.
  
  I am an ex-dub who used to be a sweet little dub gal who believed in it completely... but I was NEVER as submissive as I was supposed to be.
  
  Dating witnesses? No way in sheol. Dating ex-Dubs? Why not? You already know then that they have the strength to extricate themselves from a mind-control situation. That, in itself, is pretty impressive.
  
  In a colloquialism? We ROCK.
• 

  YoursChelbie

  Wonderer, I don't really know what specific type of "damage" you mean.

  YC