Did You Shun Someone?

Country Girl

I'm sure there are many here who did. How did you feel when you met the person in public that you were shunning? What were you thinking as you were shunning the person? Did you think about what other Witnesses were thinking if you did not WANT to shun the person? Did you shun the person primarily because you felt a Godly advocation to do so, or just because you were afraid of what other Witnesses would think? If the person you were shunning was nice to you, how did that make you feel? Sometimes people say they just shunned the person out of habit and did not think about that person, did that ever bother you?

When you got out did you ever try to make contact with the people you had shunned and try to make amends?

Questions..

CG

Arthur

Only on a couple of occasions did I see DFd people in public; and most of the time; both of us just pretended not to see each other. But, one time, I did bump into a DFd brother at a video store. I literally almost ran into him as I was walking aroung the isle corner. Neither one of us said a word to each other. It was really awkward. Looking back now, I feel bad that I didn't at least ask him how he was doing. I feel like a fool.

catbert

My jw girlfriend left me and went off to another state and got disfellowshipped. She came back to my congregation and I was really happy to see her again, and flirted with her with eye contact, but did not talk to her, because I was programmed not to. For me, seeing her again was pretty intense, and I hoped she would get reintstated. 10 years later, after I drifted away, I went to see her on a few occasions, and made up for it.... :-) Turns out, we didn't get along any better than we did when we were in our teens.

Effervescent

Yes, I shunned my own Mother.

I made the decision when I was in Junior High after an intensive "Family Study" where my Father made it clear associating with disfellowshipped persons was not appropriate for baptised ones. I did it because I desperately craved his love and approval, but to this day I'm ashamed I'd do such a thing.

I re-established contact with her when I was a Senior in high school and ran away from home to stay with her the very next day. We've repaired our relationship, and now my Father is the one not "associating" with me. I guess I couldn't have them both....

Country Girl

I know this may sound stupid because most people on here don't believe in religion, or Christ, or whatever, but when I was a Witness I actually didn't feel ANYTHING toward the shunned person. I just felt they were OUT of the inner circle so they were gone. That's how far down my humanity had gotten.

Later, I felt like crap. I was born again, and started to realize what the life of Christ was, and itmade me feel bad for what I had done/said in my earlier life. I felt absolutely crappy. I couldn't aplogize to EVERYONE becase they had gone somewhere else and I didn't know where they were, but to all those I harmed, I am so sorry, and I really am sorry that I made you feel bad.

CG

Arthur

Later, I felt like crap. I was born again, and started to realize what the life of Christ was, and itmade me feel bad for what I had done/said in my earlier life. I felt absolutely crappy.

It's strange how pretty much all of us feel this way. This seems to be the one area that pretty much everyone on this site is in agreement with. Regardless of religious beliefs, I don't think that there is anyone on this site that feels good about the shunning they did in the past. When I think about how I shunned certain relatives for several years, I feel terrible.

under_believer

Of course I did. :( I felt it was the right thing to do.

Country Girl

It's strange how pretty much all of us feel this way. This seems to be the one area that pretty much everyone on this site is in agreement with. Regardless of religious beliefs, I don't think that there is anyone on this site that feels good about the shunning they did in the past. When I think about how I shunned certain relatives for several years, I feel terrible.

Arthur, if I could take back everything I ever did as a Witness, I would. I feel so bad. I did some pretty awful stuff. I am a born again Christian. I know most people on this board hate organized re;igion as a result of the Witnesses. i don't blame them. It was awful what we did as CHRISTIANS, and we weren't even saved. I hate that.

I just hope that I can find all the people I shunned and just hug them.

CG

diamondblue1974

Yes...in some ways I did.

The guy was a father figure to me when I was growing up and we were very close; he got disfellowshipped for marrying a 'sister' who was lawfully but not scriptually divorced and whilst I did acknowledge him I didnt visit anymore and didnt have the contact I shouldve maintained.

He was eventually reinstated when I was fading and he couldnt get over the fact that I had apparently ignored him. On one hand he said it was the right thing to do and on the other he was upset because I had to him ceased all contact.

To this day I feel terrible and hope that one day he forgives me.

DB74

iamfreenow

Yes, I used to shun people who were disfellowshipped or disassociated, it was what I was expected to do as a loyal JW. I hoped at the time that it would make them think of coming back, but now I'm out I know it wouldn't make me think of going back, so this so - called loving act, which is how the Society see it, is a hateful act.

Did You Shun Someone?

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