I really understand this type of thing as far as how you feel. Back in 1998, after 6 years of not seeing my mom...she calls me out of the blue and tells me that she wants me to come visit her in Arizona, she was still a witness but having some marital problems with my dad. He wasn't going to be there for this long weekend. It was like a dream come true. She even bought me tickets! I was at work the day she called and left me a message stating that she cancelled the trip for me to come, she just felt too gulity about having me there because I was DFd. I WAS DEVESTATED. It hurt me so bad. I showed up to work the next day, and everyone was wondering what I was doing there, I told them. They all left me alone, but had flowers sent. They all knew (small office) how excited I was. I think they cried too. Very tough.
Happy ending though, 2 years later, my mom came to her senses and we reunited in 2000, and have been mom and daughter ever since. She has been DFd. She pays the price of guilt (she does it to hereself) because of the shunning being done towards me for 8 years. I am thankful now.
I am sorry you had to deal with that from your mom, I know it hurts. I hope she comes around.
Nikki