HAS ANYONE HERE HAD THIS EXPERIENCE?

juni

I POSTED THIS EARLIER AT THE "SHUNNING" TOPIC BY JH ----

Also there are those that do come back who have never righted their wrong, but continue on with a bad heart and have a smug attitude. And if this individual is "popular" w/the elders, are treated differently. The "victims" and their families continue to feel the pain and the effects that has been brought upon them while this individual carries on in good standing and has the accolade of the CONGREGATION.

ALSO, THERE ARE THOSE THAT HAVE EXPERIENCED THE "WRATH" OF THE ELDERS BECAUSE WHEN THEY COME BACK THEIR PRESENCE REMINDS THEM OF THE SITUATION WHICH THE ELDERS HAVE NOW FIGURED IS "FIXED". IN SOME CASES THEY WANT THAT PERSON TO LEAVE THE CONGREGATION AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. THEY DON'T WANT TO GIVE THEM PRIVILEGES AND THEY QUESTION THEIR MOTIVES. THEY FEEL THAT THIS INDIVIDUAL HAS AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM.

HOW CAN SUCH A WRONGED PERSON HEAL AND BE ABLE TO MOVE ON??

JUNI

candidlynuts

rural kingdom halls really have this problem.. the halls are run by one or two families and it is really hard for a df'd person of another family to regain any footing once they are reinstated.

juni

Thanks Candi.

Juni

fullofdoubtnow

The elders, and especially the po, were very good at driving people they didn't like away from our kh. Some, like Trev and eventually me left the org, but others just moved to another congregation.

The end result of this policy is that their attendances were down from around 125 - 130 to less than 100 when I left, and it's dropped even more since then, so I hear.

juni

BTT (BACK TO THE TOP)

THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT.

JUNI

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

ALSO, THERE ARE THOSE THAT HAVE EXPERIENCED THE "WRATH" OF THE ELDERS BECAUSE WHEN THEY COME BACK THEIR PRESENCE REMINDS THEM OF THE SITUATION WHICH THE ELDERS HAVE NOW FIGURED IS "FIXED". IN SOME CASES THEY WANT THAT PERSON TO LEAVE THE CONGREGATION AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. THEY DON'T WANT TO GIVE THEM PRIVILEGES AND THEY QUESTION THEIR MOTIVES. THEY FEEL THAT THIS INDIVIDUAL HAS AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM.
HOW CAN SUCH A WRONGED PERSON HEAL AND BE ABLE TO MOVE ON??

This happened to me.. I've always been judged/treated based on my past DF'ings, by JW family members, the congregation elders, and people who I thought were my friends. Even though they say that once you are reinstated, Jehovah puts the sins behind him and forgets about them, that's not how you are treated. It's sad. And really hard to deal with. I especially felt this with regards to "marriageable" brothers ... no one wanted me because I was essentially "used goods." Seriously.

Thanks, Juni.

juni

Good Girl said:

Even though they say that once you are reinstated, Jehovah puts the sins behind him and forgets about them, that's not how you are treated. It's sad. And really hard to deal with. I especially felt this with regards to "marriageable" brothers ... no one wanted me because I was essentially "used goods." Seriously.

Starting now I'm calling you GG or GoodGirl!!!

No wonder your alias is GoodGirl or BadGirl. Seems like you're still weighing your worth according to their treatment of you. The ass*****!! You'll never be good enough for them GG. The bunch of hypocrites; you know that they're doing stuff also - just haven't got caught yet or are in w/the right people.

Thank god you didn't marry a JW. But I know what you mean and it does hurt.

Hugs,

Juni

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Starting now I'm calling you GG or GoodGirl!!!
No wonder your alias is GoodGirl or BadGirl. Seems like you're still weighing your worth according to their treatment of you. The ass*****!! You'll never be good enough for them GG. The bunch of hypocrites; you know that they're doing stuff also - just haven't got caught yet or are in w/the right people.
Thank god you didn't marry a JW. But I know what you mean and it does hurt.
Hugs,
Juni

THANK YOU, JUNI! You are right that it's hard to deal with sometimes... when my boss tells me I'm unreliable (first of all this is a completely false statement my very manipulative boss made to me about 3 months ago) all I think is, 'you must know my dad and my sister and the elders and...' It's hard to get that stuff out of your head when you are used to people telling you how you have fallen short. I heard it for most of my life. Now I realize that I don't suck THAT MUCH, jeez! LOL.

I am also VERY GLAD that I did not marry a JW. I had the "opportunity" to marry one who was over twice my age and another "opportunity" to marry a divorced dad who was OBSESSED with his ex, but since she was not a JW, she was not worthy of him after he came back and got baptized. I for one am glad I did not lower my standards to those "opportunities." Those dudes would have been the luckiest b*stards ever to have me, but because of their "good standing" and my "bad track record" JW's viewed it the other way around. MESSED UP.

Whatever - Jehovah will deal with it, right? The rate they are going, none of them will make it into the new system. LOL.

I'm glad to have escaped with my relative sanity. :-D

GOOD GIRL

restrangled

In the hall I grew up in once your name was smeared whether deserved or not it was pretty much all over.

When I was DF'd at age 16, the elders never really had a meeting with me, it was just accusations and sriptures to back them up. They were so ready to hang me.... they were drooling over the excitement of it.

After the decision was reversed by a second comittee they still couldn't stand me. There was just one elder who apologized to my parents, but of course not to me.

In later years, it was found out that some of the very ones who were the harshest, were guilty of the very things they accused me of at the time.

One was having an affair at the time he wanted me out, one had a 350 pound 12 year old daughter who wound up being mentally ill, his wife died of a heart attack at 40 (she was always a nerveous wreck), another produced the worst kid in the KH. He was the little Bethelite at age 25 who came back and was made an elder. He was the harshest and one of the ugliest men I have ever met in my life.

My point being is once anyone is DF'd it is really all over no matter what hall or location.

r.

juni

GOOD GIRL

YOU SHOULD PM SIMON, LADY LEE, OR BIKERCHICK (I BELIEVE) TO CHANGE YOUR ALIAS NAME.

SOME ONE WHO HAS BEEN PUT DOWN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH SELF WORTH. IT IS AN ONGOING BATTLE. YOU'VE COME A LOOOONNNNGGG WAY TO REBUILD. YOU ARE DOING THE HARD WORK GG.

OTHERS CAN HELP AND GIVE ADVICE AND A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON, BUT IN THE END YOU DID THE WORK!!

THANK GOD AGAIN YOU DIDN'T GET MESSED UP W/THOSE MEN. THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR YOU - IT'S A BIG OCEAN NOT JUST A LITTLE POND ANYMORE.

BEST TO YOU,

JUNI

HAS ANYONE HERE HAD THIS EXPERIENCE?

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