by pratt1 25 Replies latest jw experiences
A relative of my wife, just got engaged to a "worldly guy".
The young lady is a baptized publisher, and I am shocked to hear that no one has made a negative comment about her future husband not being an Dub.
Even her mother who is a pioneer has not made an issue of the engagement.
Has things changed?
Are the elders easing up a little on the rank and file?
To my knowledge it is not a disfellowshipping offence...BUT her mother will NOT be allowed to attend or she will lose ALL her privileges!
The rules have not changed. She can't get judicially reproved for marrying a "worldly guy" because that's going beyond the scriptures. She just made a poor decision, and won't be held up as an example. That means they may never let her pioneer (she's better off) or use her in demonstrations on the platform (better off again). While some may keep their distance from her, others will not. In the past, you may have noticed more drastic measures against such a person by a congregation than there are now. Elders have been told to offer more loving, kind assisstance to such a person now. This is probably because the organization doesn't want to lose a bad witness. Better to make her feel welcome (and then apply guilt pressure to keep her in the congregation) than to drive her out to the World.
The statement that her mother will not be allowed to attend (the wedding, reception, shower) or else lose all her privileges, is TRUE. Especially for pioneers, elders, ministerial servants- these rules are often (but not always) enforced by the local congregation. If the mother blesses this union, tell her to send gifts which are not wedding gifts, they just happen to coincide with the timing. If she wants to take her chances and go to the wedding, maybe you can support her decision.
I've seen this happen before, and the sister concerned was counselled about her choice, but still married the guy. She was then constantly pressured by the elders to bring him along to the meetings, and try to get him to become a jw, which is what your relative has most likely got to look forward to.
Does the poor guy know what he's getting into marrying her and her family and the org? my sympathies.
I know a couple of JWs that have been marked because they dated a non witness
That means no one is allowed to associate with her because she is bad association
I was just thinking... this stance makes the WBTS even more hypocritical. They will kick someone out who simply makes a mistake, such as smoking a cigarette, to "keep the congregation clean", but will do nothing directly about allowing a "worldy" person to become attached to one of their flock.
They need to $hi1 or get off the pot.
They don't mean to be hypocrites, they can't help it. As already mentioned, they will hope to keep their member instead of losing her. They also hope to convert the "worldly" husband.
She might get marked, but most close friends will continue to associate.
In my hall a lady was publicly "marked" for this very thing.
