All white girls are.........

by Gill 122 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gill
    Gill

    My daughter has been 'going out' with a black gentleman for the last year. They are very much in love by the looks of things and have long term plans.

    However, opposition has recently come from somewhere I did not expect.

    It turns out that he has been very upset with his mother since she made several unpleasant remarks to him. His mother has never met my daughter as she lives in Africa. But she has asked her son to change his girl friend as she will only accept a black woman for a daughter in law. Apparantly, in her opinion, All white girls are slags! She will not speak to her son until he has come round to her point of view and he is not speaking to her.

    So, I can honestly say we have experienced the darkest side of racism and that is total generalisation of another skin colour!

  • skeptic2
    skeptic2

    Yep, racism sucks from whatever angle.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    That is awful Gill.

    It really makes me wonder where these people get their misconceptions from. Maybe her only experience of white girls has been in films or TV, but even if that were so, she is making a sweeping, and unfair generalisation there. I hope your daughters bf stands up to her racist views.

  • Gill
    Gill

    I think racism is even more of a shock when you personally encounter it, when it comes from an unexpected source.

    My daughters boyfriend, has suffered racism himself. He knows how it feels. I think it shocked him to hear a racist remark from his mother and yes he has stood up to his mother because of this.

    Zimbabwe, is noted for it's racism at present and I think that is probably where and why she gets her evil opinion from. Daughter and boyfriend both agree that they will never go there because for whites, the country has become unbearable and the reason....racism.

  • earthtone
    earthtone

    Your right Gill. I think her feelings probably stem from bad treatment from white's in her native country. It will be hard for her to see the difference without actually meeting a white person who treats her nice. I'm sorry that this is happening for them. I firmly believe you should be with who you love and treats you good, no matter what race they are.

    I hope that his mother changes her mind.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    In my humble opinion the root of some racism (if not all) is fear of the unknown. Your daughter's bf's mother doesn't know her and so assumes the worst. She could also be projecting whatever unpleasant experiences that she has had with white folks unto your daughter, which is really unfair. You really don't know her history, do you? I feel bad for your daughter but I feel mostly for your daughter's bf. I'm sure this riff between him and his mother isn't easy for him. I wouldn't feel anger towards the mother, just sorry she feels that way.

    Josie

    P.S. I think it would be a good idea if your daughter's boyfriend would refrane from telling you all the negative stuff his mother says. It's really hasn't done anything positive has it?

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep

    What does "slag" mean?

  • Moomin
    Moomin

    A promiscuous woman

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    I went through this when I was dating my hubby from Both sides of the family. My hubby's mother wanted him to marry a nice puerto rican girl and used to refer to me as "that white girl". And my family 100% Italian, trace the relatives on the boat back to Italy, wanted me to marry a nice Italian guy. Obviously we just ignored them all and did what we wanted to. We have been married for almost 15 years. My family loves my hubby and his family loves me and both sides love our kids. They even mention how beautiful looking they are do to the mixture of spanish/italian race.

    Mrs. Jones is right - there is lack of unknown here and that scares people. One thing I did before I met my future mother in-law (after I found out she did not like the idea of my hubby seeing me) was to write her a letter letting her know how I felt about her son. Complimenting her on the good job she did in raising him and what a fine young man he was. And telling her I heard good things about her and the rest of the family and was looking forward to meeting them all. Once they met me, they liked me and the letter helped to soften their attitude.

    Whatever you and your daughter do - do not get angry. Chalk it up to ignorance and don't hold a grudge. It is always best to keep the ties good with family, especially if they get married in the future. Just let it go, Lilly

  • Moomin
    Moomin

    Wow Lilly, that's great the way you handled that.

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