in love with a very confused jw (page 4)

lisavegas420

thanks so much for the good wishes and the good advice. i thought everyone forgot about me...nobody wrote yesterday..

Oh sweetheart...No one forgot about you.

Your post actually got me thinking about all the many men and women that I played the same mind games with. I'm sorry I did that to them..people that truely cared about me...ME...and not some group I was associated with.

I wasn't in my right mind then...he isn't either. Normally I'd say..move on quickly and get over him.......but in this case. You might be all he's got on the outside.

lisa

limitless

hey everybody...

how goes it?

so, i text him a few days ago asking how he was...i received a text back that said, "i have been crazy. hope you are well. biz, life, everything." doesn't sound very loving... i text him back that i was a bit sad and that i missed him. no reply.

so, last night, i had a couple of glasses of wine and i emailed him. i told him that i loved him and that he owed it to himself to research his religion. that he isn't giving me up for god. he's giving me up for a man-made institution.

anyway, no reply yet. do you think he thinks i'm attacking him? do you think he just wishes i would go away? should i care? i mean, if he hunts me down after 11 years, i suppose i have the right to send a few emails...

it seems that most of you are saying that i shouldn't give up on him, that i should contact him... i guess i could use some further advice on how to go about it. i don't think my way is working :)

by the way...

cherish- how's your situation coming along?

gnat- i'm going to pick up hassan's book on mind control... thanks for the tip.

lisavegas420- thanks for not forgetting about me!!! ya think contacting some of those people you hurt in the past might make them and you feel a bit better? i know that i would appreciate it, especially if i really cared for you. just a thought.

peace.

limitless (who is now 'limited' because of her situation :) )

jwfacts

i suppose i have the right to send a few emails...

After the time and emotion that you have both invested in the relationship you do have the right to send him some emails, and he owes you an explaination of his feelings.

What you said to him was important, that there is a difference between worshipping God and belonging to an institution, I hope he dwells on it.

hampstead

so sorry to hear your story...i experienced the same story , fell in love with a jw girl from minnesota, im from new york. the major diff between yours and mine was that she never hid or pretended that things were going to be perfect; in fact, she didnt really believe we would be able to even fall in love, but we did. Thats when all kingdom hell broke loose (sorry!) She couldnt juggle Jehovah and me at the same time. This was after one year of 10,000 texts, webcams at nite, emails, love poems, and , oh, did I mention me flying out to the west coast every few weeks to be together with her (in hotels, because nobody was allowed to know). So she went and confessed to the elders. Now we are magically over. The pain gets worse every day. This was my true ond only 'soulmate'. ZIf i could only figure out how to unbrainwash her.

limitless

hampstead-

sorry to hear that you are hurting... i believe, at this point, that there is no way to 'unbrainwash' someone unless they truly want to be 'unbrainwashed'. in life there are people that are just born to follow. no matter what. they choose the easy way out...not having to think for themselves. this is what my ex did. it's just too bad he had to drag me down with him.

everyone... an update...

my brother, who lives in taiwan, had a motorcycle accident yesterday and is in a coma. i have to leave on friday to see him. i left a message on my ex's machine last night and never heard a response. i was fuming. i thought there is no way someone could be so cold. i sent him a text this evening saying that it was too bad that he let the wts not only take his brain, but also his heart and that i never wanted to speak to him again.

he called soon thereafter and left a message...saying that he hadn't listened to my message last night (because he thought i was calling to say something about his religion), that he is really sorry, that he cares about me and that he has me in his prayers.

i just feel like it's all crap. he cares about me. if he cared about me, why did he do this in the first place. if he cared about me, why am i dealing with this crap alone.

i know i sound like a victim right now. i'm not. just pissed. just complaining. thanks for listening...

peace.

SPAZnik

When I was a JW and in love with a non-JW he was a real man about the whole thing. He was brave enough and secure enough to listen to me and my thoughts or beliefs (as befuddled as they were). He asked me questions and let me speak. He called me on things that weren't clear. He pointed out things he agreed or disagreed with. Then he loved me (and himself) enough to tell me simply, honestly "it isn't for me". He wasn't afraid to be with me anyways. He took a giant leap of faith in love, in me, in us and invited me to leap too. It was that man's LOVE that got me started thinking. He was gentle and open about it. He was strong and quiet about it. He didn't argue loudly, that would have turned me off. He just stood his ground and respectfully allowed me mine. His approach to love was such a glaring contrast to this religion that was supposedly identifiable by love, I was left with no choice but to leave it. Real love is not selfish. It lets people do what they've gotta do. Even things we don't understand or want. Religion aside, I think this situation is a test to your own faith in love. It's truly up to you how you choose to handle it. I hope your brother is okay. Peace (sorry about the block i can't seem to fix the formatting tonight. also....awesome poem)

AudeSapere

Sorry to learn of your brother's accident. What a far way you will travel. I sincerely hope he recovers.

Regarding the BF, he clearly has shut down and that's a real bad thing in any relationship.

Travel safe and hopefully we'll hear from you when you return (or while you're in the hospital in Taiwan).

-Denise.

hampstead

re: I feel like its all crap

That's my line!!!! So sorry bout ur brother. r u back? is he ok???

You have to ask urself one thing: do you want to continue this way with him? Stop badgering yourself asking why, why, why. I had the same thing. WHY did she do all those things with me, only to scream JEHOVAH! one fine day???? I know deep down that its over, but.....Jehovah was her excuse, not her reason. it was her escape hatch, as she could not balance us both . You are not alone. I promise you will start feeling better soon; just try to let it go....

limitless

hampstead-

it's all crap...isn't really my line. i have to keep it clean because i'm online :)

my brother isn't okay. he's apparently having surgery right now to remove a hemmorage in his brain. my mom and i don't leave until tomorrow morning.

these situations in life make this crap with our jws so much more frustrating. life can be over in a second and everyone is playing like we have forever...lying, cheating, pretending, withholding. people playing games... i am so sick of it...

people-go home today...smile bigger, laugh harder, kiss longer... and don't 'assume' anything.

peace.

limitless

by the way...

my ex called this morning and we spoke for almost an hour. didn't talk about anything in regards to 'us'. he did say a couple of times towards the end that it's important i stay 'positive'...not just about my brother, but with everything. that you have to believe life will get better in order for it to do so. i know he was referring to 'us'. i do believe the man is trying to tell me to 'move on' with my damn self...

right?

in love with a very confused jw

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