I have to tell a bit of background to get to the point of this post. It will probably be long.
My brother called last night. He is still very upset about our younger brothers suicide recently. The brother that committed suicide is a half brother and as I have posted before his father(my stepfather also committed suicide)
He has talked to my Mom and all she says is how much she wants him to get right with religion and the end is soon. He said purps....she is eat up with it. I said I know. She is in a cult.
I know she starting pioneering so that is probably where the pressure to witness to my brother PLUS she wants to be sure to do the right thing so she will be able to see my deceased brother in paradise. She wants to work even harder to do the right thing.
A bit of background and insight into my family.
My mother divorced my father when I was very young. Three children came from that marriage. She was a very abusive mother, but we looked like the perfect American Catholic family. Once she beat my sister requiring stiches to her chin, but we had to tell everyone she fell out of the top bunkbed. She hit me and caused a broken blood vessel to break in my eye causing the white part to turn red.I had to tell everyone at school that I ran into a tree limb.......KLUTZ! I stole some money from her fathers coin collection to buy ice-cream floats at A&W, she was raging mad, so I lied about it. She got on top of me and put a gun to my head to give a confession.I still would not tell and she had to call a relative in to sort it out.
This could be a long .......book, so I will skip like a million pages of stuff.
At the present time........none of my moms kids have anything to do with her nor grandkids. My Mom got baptised in 2000. Shortly after baptism, my real brother (who was adopted by his stepfather) was making an aggressive attempt to find his real father.....who is my father as well. Come to find out, He has a different father than me and my sister....sooooo my mother had an affair none of us knew about and I don't think her husband at the time did either. My brother finds out in a fit of rage from my mother.....shouting to him the revelation.
My mother has a beautiful home, new car.....the nicest clothes........She looks awesome for her age. She pioneers and has the CO stay at her house when he and his wife are in town. She has been to Bethel and so on and so on. NONE.....of her children will have anything to do with her. We could all be homeless and starving and she would not do a thing.
So, last night my brother says to me.......those people at her church do not know the real her. He said I am sure MOM has told them horrible stories about us to explain why there is no contact with the kids. He said they think she is wonderful and its all crap. I was thinking how she probably is telling that her being in the truth and all her family is worldly(except me) is the reason.
I could not help but think how my mom is hiding in the organization. She is accepted and looked at as being very spiritual as she pioneers...goes to all the meetings etc etc. I found in my own situation that I would continually go to meetings with problems at home and have this false sense that everything was ok. I got smiles and glad to see you at the Kingdom Hall and afterall that is where I should be. Now, more than ever I have focused my attention at home, with my family. I have sorted through lots of messed up messages I got from the FDS.
If anything, I am living closer to bible standards than I ever have, taking care of family obligations first. My kids all speak to me........I don't want to convey that. But I was an absent parent in some ways as I put the organization first.
My mother is a bad person hiding in the organization.
OK, I am tired of typing.............I am sure someone can relate to something I have posted.
Thanks for reading and love to most.
purps