Letter from a family member: is there even a point?

under_believer

I have been corresponding with a certain family member of mine on the problems I have with the Society and the Witnesses. We've been mostly outlining the parameters such a discussion would take (a sort of meta-discussion) rather than having the discussion itself. I received this lovely gem from this family member today:

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You have to understand that serving Jehovah and being one of his witnesses is really the most important thing in my life. For that to be attacked would be like someone attacking your best friend and all he stands for. If you sincerely have concerns and your intent is to have those concerns cleared up; well and good. If it is to try to tear down what really makes me who I am (and I thought you loved me for who I am) then that is different.
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I'm starting to wonder if it's even a good idea to engage in this. I love this person very much and would love to get them out of the organization, but maybe it would just do more harm than good.

jwfacts

I do not feel it is worth it, in that mindset your family member is not going to be able to accept or even understand the points that you make due to cognitive dissonance. All that will happen is loosing a friend. A JW will always put the Organization over family until they want to leave, and by their comments they certainly are not at that point.

carla

Could you go from it with the angle of - I thought you & I communicated so well that you of all people would be able to clear up a few things for me. It's only a discussion, I'm not 'attacking' anything, only asking a few questions. For instance, I was always taught xxxx, but looking into it closer I have found yyyyyy, and yyyyyy and yyyyy. What do you think about that? (if you include wt quotes it may cut down on their cut & paste)

I wish you well, I did the email thing for over a year and it starts out with a lot of cut & paste from the wt's. I finally gave up when I realized they weren't really reading any of it, just a quick skim and off to the wt for a quickie answer after I had spent literal hours on my responses.

troubled mind

I think you would do more harm than good . Love and accept this person's right to think differently than you. That is what you want from them for yourself , right ? It is hard when you want to save them from the lies you know exist , but until they personally want to see ...they won't ...maybe never . So all you really can do is love them and respect them and hope something will happen to cause them to open their eyes . If you force the issue you could lose them .

Apostate Kate

The fact that you even have a line of communication with this family member is something in itself. We know as outsiders that communication is always good. Even if it is not something we want to hear. It may be helpful to keep that in mind. When that door closes it often is for good.

Protect the line of communication.

troubled mind

I recently thought I could be honest about some of my feelings about the WT society when speaking with an inactive neice . I now think that was a mistake because my brother called last week wanting to have a heart to heart ...as long as I didn't mention any apostate crap , then he said he would just hang up on me .( I think she went to him about my conversation with her .)

sspo

Drop it! Keep his/her freindship

Like most of us, we were in his shoes and would've dealt with you the same way. In due time if he is a thinking person eventually he will question his beleif.

Elsewhere

You have to understand that serving Jehovah and being one of his witnesses is really the most important thing in my life. For that to be attacked would be like someone attacking your best friend and all he stands for.

But what if that best friend actually has a knife to his back? Will he respond to your warning?

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Look, under_believer, only you know for sure, and others here have really good points. But one thing I want to say is that I, less than a year ago, sent a similar, but with even stronger language, email to a friend of mine. He could have (and I would have) given up on me and written me off as a hopeless case. But he saw underneath it and kept at it. Sometimes I feel that I owe my life to him.

I said I would have given up on me for a reason. You have to take into consideration what is best for you. I couldn't have done what my friend did. But I will forever be grateful that he did.

One year later I couldn't feel more differently, nor could I be happier. I nearly lost my life. My persevering friend saw underneath the preachy garbage I wrote to him, and knew I had potential to wake up.

My two cents. Good luck and best wishes, under_believer.

under_believer

Thanks all for your replies. I have much to think about, and no easy answers; but that's life, isn't it?

Letter from a family member: is there even a point?

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