When are you most susceptible to painful Watchtower memories?

by The wanderer 16 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  The wanderer

  Painful Watchtower memories

  This subject is not an easy one to talk about so
  perhaps you should consider your thoughts very
  carefully before you answer.

  The Summer months are some of the most trying times
  for me because of my recollection of the assemblies
  and my enjoyment of being with the friends.

  Often times, I have to overcome the sadness of
  these months because of recalling all of the good
  times during that part of my life.

  What are your recollections?

  Perhaps, it was leaving the organization or some
  family or friends behind? Then again, perhaps a
  particular event or time period that triggers sad
  reminders. What are some of your most painful Watch-
  tower memories?

  Please be discreet in your answer, however, please be
  reminded that your perspective and personal insight
  could assistance hundreds of others like yourself.

  Respectfully,

  The Wanderer
• 

  Tigerman

  When I'm awake.
• 

  AuldSoul

  Tigerman beat me to my instinctive response.

  When my wife gives a heavy sigh before starting to prepare to go to a meeting or out in field serve-us. When she comes home looking anything but refreshed and encouraged by her "gathering".

  When I think about my mom and dad ... how many hours ... years of their lives, and the lives of nearly all my extended family, wasted for nothing but a repeatedly failed promise from a group of men who claim God chose them as His sole mouthpiece.

  When I am reminded that they are devoid of natural affection, having permitted the doctrine of men to supplant their natural affection, causing them to cut off even their own flesh from their affections if their progeny or sibling rejects the doctrine of men.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  evita

  When I am tired or overwhelmed I really miss my mom who died almost 2 years ago. She was a devoted JW for over 30 years and my only relative in the religion. Thinking of my sad relationship with my mom makes me relive the past and the years I spent as a dub. I try to live in the present moment and not rehash old memories. I loved my mom but I lost her to a religion made up by a couple of nutty old guys. Sometimes that's just hard to accept and makes me cry with frustration and regret. Eva
• 

  under_believer

  I am in my 30's now. Apparently, I'm told, this is a time when people become aware of their own mortality. This realization came in close proximity to my realization that in fact, no, I probably won't live forever. It's kind of this double whammy, I guess. Thinking back to when I was kid, and truly believed that I'd never die, is very sad. That fresh-faced, happy little guy, much like my own son, believing that he'd never have to grow old and die. Thinking about that poor deluded soon-to-be-heartbroken kid just kills me.
• 

  bigmouth

  By myself. Thinking of my age. The years I wasted learning to be humble but finding myself struggling to keep up. Looking at my face in the bathroom mirror and I see grey. When I look at my 18 year old team mates and realise I gave up the chance to play football for a living. When the 25 year old girl behind the bar treats me respectfully rather than asking for I.D.
  
  A large part of my life wasted and I can't really blame anyone but myself.
• 

  Woofer

  When I think about my parents marriage. They were two of the MOST unhappy people I've ever met. My mom told me on numerous occasions that she wished she never married my dad (but then would add that it was worth it because she had her kids).

  My dad was very emotionally abusive to my mom and would swear and cuss at her all the time in front of me and my sisters. Four letter words regulary spewed from his mouth - especially in the car after leaving the Kingdom Hall. He would call my mom the most awful names. She would just sit there and take it. She believed that she could never get divorced and still have her JW family. He was also an alcoholic and she went to the elders several times over it - nothing got done.

  They celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in 2004. I obviously wasn't invited to the "celebration" but it made me sad to think of her wasting 50 years on my SOB dad.

  I may be d/f but at least I am in a happy marriage - I'm happier then I've ever been.
• 

  jambon1

  It is when news of another unhappy, miserable peson surfaces that I feel sad.

  Not sad for me. Im out and will never go back because of my new found happiness. But, sad for the person that is struggling in one way or another, trying to live up to a man made religion, with man made rules. Most of us know it is impossible and just gave up. Some continue struggling in a miserable life because they want to do better.

  The WT standards are unattainable = unhappy people.

  Very sad indeed.
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  When I see my brother and his children, I think of the fact that, thanks to being a jw so long, I will never be a mother. I never married while in the wts, and never had a meaningful relationship in that time. Now I'm living with a wonderful man, himself an ex jw, and we are marrying next year, but I am too old now to have children, I sacrificed that possibility to the watchtower god.

  When I think of the career I gave up on after finishing university with a first - class honours degree in English, then wasting my education by becoming involved with the jws at 21, and working as a part - time cleaner and later, a part - time office worker so I could pioneer.
• 

  Gill

  When I hear how the children of JWs that I used to know are doing.

  They are deprived of furthur education, forced to work part time, just to look good in the eyes of fellow dubs.

  Reminds me of my young days at school. Out shone most students at most things, except sports. Had a good brain for sciences, history etc. Wanted to go to Uni, and gained ten O levels and 3 good A levels with little or no effor and despite my mother regularly beating me about the head with my books.

  I feel sad for them all.