I never had that happen to me - but heard stories similiar to the ones posted here many times. First of all, I think that some, not all of them get their jollies from exploiting people like that. They like to hear all that intimate details - and I'm sure that it makes some feel all pure and powerful and superior as well. And secondly, it's a gross means of control by humiliation. It's hard to then ascertain what's normal, natural, and healthy because you have that association and memory of how you felt when you were being asked those things. They make sure that you feel degraded, beaten down and belittled and WEAK. And they use that opportunnity to also reinforce that you need them to stay strong and overcome inclinations that you don't actually need to overcome.
What's the most "personal" information an elder ever ask you?
by JH 45 Replies latest jw experiences
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kittyeatzjdubs
What positions?
How many times?
Who serviced whom?
Did you climax?
Did he climax?
How many times?
And it got worse and worse and worse, much too graphic to post on here.
I was 19. In my first JC. In a room with men I grew up with, men I viewed as uncles and grandfathers. I walked out of that room, thinking "WTF just happened?" I was in disbelief and shock. But of course the brainwashing runs deeply because I believed there was something seriously wrong with me and they were just doing what they had to do to serve Jehovah and "keep the congregation clean". (Seriously, WTF.)
((((((((GGBG))))))))))) I went through the same thing on my JC. I was 17 at the time so I know exactly how you feel. ~luv, jojo
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Wordly Andre
So basically getting pulled into a meeting by elders because they ?think? you did something wrong is about the same as going to confession? JW?s always talk crap against the Catholic Church over confession, because you don?t confess your sins to a man, Right? And what about penance? Don?t they do the same thing? Let?s say you go before the Elders and confess that you had sex, with your girlfriend, they ask you a bunch of questions about it, (part of confession) then they give you your punishment (penance) then when they think you are good again they reinstate you (forgiveness), isn?t it kind of hypocritical that they preach one thing against the Catholic church but in their own way do the same.
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restrangled
I posted my experience, but want to let you know I was 16.....I also remember the climax question by the JC which I did not dare post.
Of course no 22 year old JW was able to give me that thrill at age 16. It was only available to him. I do not know where he is today, but probably someone in charge.
Thankfully the man I married was not a JW....do you get my drift?
r.
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Good Girl or Bad Girl?
I posted my experience, but want to let you know I was 16.....I also remember the climax question by the JC which I did not dare post.
Of course no 22 year old JW was able to give me that thrill at age 16. It was only available to him. I do not know where he is today, but probably someone in charge.
Thankfully the man I married was not a JW....do you get my drift?
r.
I catch your drift, restrangled. Yeah, but the point of the JC is to determine if I 1) committed a disfellowshipping sin, 2) am or am not repentent, right? So if we did or did not ... finish... does that make it any more or less fornication? In other words, really it was just a group of sick bastards getting their jollies off on a poor naive little girl. Thanks, jojo, hugs to you too. Yeah, Worldly Andre, it's like confession only way worse. There is no forgiveness in JW confession.
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dido
Dismembered- it was sooo embarrassing, in retrospect i wish i didn`t agree to go to the jc meeting, i should never have given them the opportunity to say these things to me. I don`t know why i answered them, i didn`t want to, but didn`t know what to do. I would advise anybody not to give them the opportunity to put them thro` this at a jc meeting.
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minu
The "committee" is the biggest sack of perves. I initially went to them because my husband was basically having sex with the computer and it was making me crazy to the point that I wanted to leave. this was not our only issue, he stayed out all night and probably had girls on the side that I was unable to prove, (therefore no grounds for divorce) but had stong feelings that he was cheating on me. At this point he wasn't even going to the cong. meetings. He didn't want anything to do with me, we hadn't had intercourse for 365 days straight! So I went to them letting them know I was moving out. Well that started some crap. So both me and him had to go into the committee meetings and he is denying everything at first then he said he had gone to some porn sites. Well, they turn to me and asked if I was the reason he was going to the porn sites. Then to let me know that a husband needed to feel wanted by his wife.......etc.(then more BS from those appointed by Jah) I wanted to get up and punch each one of them in the face. Then my then husband says that he doesn't care what they say, he's going to do whatever he wants to and I can leave if I want to he could care less. I tell them about all the times he physically abused me and all the hateful things he did to me. Well he gets df'd and I get reproved. He, my husband, appeals the decision and keeps doing everything he was before "I dragged him into the meetings" and GUESS WHAT?!! Since he appealed and basically got lost in the system, He is now in good standing with the organization. CAN YOU BELIEVE?! Oh, and after I left, living by myself, I was sick one night and didn't go to the meeting, so, being the caring people they are the three from my Judicial Committee decided to knock on my door after the meeting (around 10:00 p.m.) and here I am in my night shirt and nothing else and they keep banging on the door. I wasn't about to open the door to three men while I was home alone and not dressed and sick on top of that. They had a fit about that because "they knew I was at home and I didn't answer the door". I'm so glad I left those crazy nutty people.
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Quandry
kittyeatzjdubs
Since you were 17 at the time, were one of your parents in the room with you? If so, what did they do?
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moanzy
After I was reinstated I was talked to by an elder about proper sex in the bedroom with my non-jw husband. I was shocked, but just replied that I knew.
Moanzy
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BizzyBee
At 23 and fading fast, I was visited by the CO and the PO. They asked me point-blank why didn't I marry the nice pioneer brother I used to date? I said I didn't love him. They both looked very sour, like - 'what's love got to do with it?'
Tina Turner was conspicuous by her absence from the scene.