OK, there's this guy.......

purplesofa

Alright, I have been divorce almost 20 years. My kids are at an age where they are not so needy. I have two grandkids.

About 4 years ago, I met this guy through work. I was very active witness at the time so I would not go out with him, BUT there was this concert I wanted to go to so we went and even had dinner with some witness friends of mine before the concert.

So, over the years we have gone out some and bump into each other through our work.

He knows about my JW experiance so that is not an issue with him.

He has sole custody of a daughter, the mother died in car wreck when she was 6 mos old. A son from a previous marriage.

He has great qualities, has a good job, has deep family values, nice house on land.

We met up recently again, and I found out his dad died and I told him about my brother's death.

We both want to see each other more, I am not sure why......seems we are stuck with each other!! I am scared actually, that I might develop feelings for him. At first I would not allow myself as he was "worldly" and had those little kids.

But I find his consistency and he is respectful of me......I find that appealing. He feels safe. I am warming up to him after all this time.

I have not been sexually attracted to him, but I am sure I could if I let myself.

I have dated all these years, but never really with a future in mind. I seem to have always found men that were unattainable. ie Married, live in another country, overlook something I know I could not live with.

But its been a lifetime since I have really been open and serious about anyone.

We are supposed to do something tonight with his kids. First time for that.

Help!!!

purps

AuldSoul

Um ... I would help, but I can't see where you need it.

SixofNine

He might be a CIA agent.

Hope this helps.

AuldSoul

[barked laugh that alarmed my wife]

That was funny, Six.

bikerchic

purps.....I was going to say g~o s~l~o~w......then I noticed this about you:

AGE 72y 11 m 20 d

I figure slow is not an option so what the heck have fun and remember dating is all about finding out how compatible you are it's not necessarily a pre-cursor to marriage, so just have fun and get to know the guy.

purplesofa

ok, I left myself wide open........

I guess I am making a mountain out of a molehill

Nevermind......!!!

purps

AGE 72y 11 m 20 d

I will be 47 in a few weeks!!!

penny2

Sounds good purps. I'm jealous.

penny2

Satanus

I would say that you seem about to take another step. I don't think that it is unreversable, as wt programming taught us. Btw, you said at first that he was a jw, then later, that he is worldly. Has he become completely deprogrammed? Or, are you talking about 2 different guys? Good luck, anyway.

S

purplesofa

I wound up going over to his house and we ate pizza and watched TV. Had a nice relaxing time sitting on his deck in one of those glider swing chairs.

His son told me, (5 years old) that his dad has had lots of girlfriends and chased them all away. hehe

Early in the evening he said something that I got emotional about and started to cry. I thought I could compose myself without him noticing but I could not. I was embarrassed and felt raw. I said I needed to leave, which I did, then got part way home and realized my cell was left at his house........SSSooooo I went back and we talked, and he talked me into staying. We hugged and did a quick kiss......it was not like a romantic thing........Cripes, I just have never been in an opposite sex friendship like this.

He sat on his sofa and I sat on the loveseat........we were quiet watching TV and he says over to me.......Purps, Isn't this fun? I said Yeah!

He asked me if I was going to the Kingdom Hall anymore and I said I went one time this year. I asked him if he thought I changed since I first met him.......He said yeah......you are more fun and outgoing Why do you ask he said. I said.......Well, I was very active in my religion when I first met you and wondered if you noticed any difference in me.

It was relaxing and rather normal and banal for me. But it was very nice and I was wishing I knew him well enough or we were farther along in the relationship(if that is whats happening) where I could have curled up on the sofa with him. AND not had to go home. But I live huge fantasies in my head, play out different scenerios.......

I left at 10:00..........48 hours on TV was over and he was tired. I just said.....Well I better go.....and he said Bye Purps.......yeah kinda happened like that.

Satanus He has never been a witness.......and I was only talking about one guy. And thanks for this comment. I needed to recognize moving to another step.

I would say that you seem about to take another step. I don't think that it is unreversable, as wt programming taught us.

Penny2 Please don't be jealous. This is so awkward for me. Something so normal and simple is just difficult for me.

purps

zagor

my grandma told me once - son if you're thinking about jumping or not when standing in front of fence, you're not ready, it comes naturally without thinking ...

Having said that, why not try talking to him honestly about your plans for the future and stand back to see if he'll support you or try to 'encourage you' in another direction. Then ask him the same and see if you find yourself annoyed with some of his plans, excited or heavens forbid unmoved

OK, there's this guy.......

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