by Zico 29 Replies latest jw friends
But Zico, in fairness you swear, go out with worldly people and post on an apostate board. Why would you expect Jehovahs Witnesses to want to hang with you? Isnt that just a bit naieve? You know the rules.
I guess you were just hoping they would all be willing to break the rules for you.
Oh Zico. Now you haven't got any JW friends, who can you go out with that gets pissed on two pints of lager and generally have the social skills of a bunch of fourteen year old? I can see how this will be a loss to you.
PMSL....so true! DB74
But Zico, in fairness you swear, go out with worldly people and post on an apostate board. Why would you expect Jehovahs Witnesses to want to hang with you? Isnt that just a bit naieve? You know the rules.
I guess you were just hoping they would all be willing to break the rules for you.
For me that would be part of the problem - the fact that the Jehovah Witness label takes precedence over a personal relationship; that a third party should ever have such influence over any personal relationships. If I have a relationship with Joe, the 'rules' of that relationship are between me and Joe. Jack, Jill, and Homer have nothing to say about it. The problem is that these "friends" have allowed a third party, the Watchtower, to dictate the terms of relationships. There are a lot of hypocritical JWs too. I knew many who thought nothing of smoking weed, swearing or getting drunk in strip bars, but drew the line at associating with a clean living "worldly" person. W
Ok, I've calmed down quite a bit now.
Katiekitten - Yes, you're pretty much right. Though I don't believe the marking has anything to do with swearing and reading apostate boards. They don't know I read apostate sites, and I never swear, since I've been brought up not too.
I was very angry when I wrote that post, and my swearing was a bit of out of character... Swearing breaks the board rules, and I shouldn't have done that. I have tried to edit the swearing out of the post, but it doesn't seem to be working, I think because I'm posting from an Apple Mac? If the Mods want to edit or delete this thread, they are within their rights to do so, I will not complain.
I've only started associating with Worldly people since I started fading a few months ago. Apparently, they've almost instantly changed the way they look at me!
I shouldn't be so upset, because I AM going to leave this religion, but I want to fade out because EVERY ONE of my family member's is in the Organisation, so I don't want to DA, or be DF'D, and part of doing this fading has been to build a support network of Worldly friends, which is the advice I was given by this board. And is good advice! I'm not strong enough to leave with nothing and nobody.
The JW who uninvited me, is in my group, he phoned me up shortly after, and asked if I would work with him on Field Service tomorrow as he wants 'to talk'. I stayed calm, and then told him I would, I planned to give him a piece of my mind, but then I realised that would be a stupid thing to do at all, let alone on the Field Service, I'm just going to have to let it go, so I'm going to fake sickness tomorrow morning. I can't give in though, if I give in, it will drag me back in deeper.
It's now more upsetting than annoying, because I thought I'd been fading so well! I managed to finish pioneering and get a full time job without any JWs, I've gotten away with going to less meetings, and I've started to associate with 'worldly' people. I guess I got too arrogant, I was fading too fast, clearly they've noticed, and now they're going to want to help me, and I have no idea what to do about it... I don't want to be dragged back in, and it's not like I tell this guy that I'm having doubts, he's proved I can't trust him.
Even after I successfully leave this religion (And I WILL, despite this setback) I hope I can still keep in contact with some of my JW friends, I have after all grown up with these people, and I don't want to lose them. I don't know yet how many agreed with the JW who told me they wouldn't associate with them anymore, though I'm sure I'll find out soon.
I think I know what will happen with these JW 'friends; when I leave now, but whatever does happen is going to be entirely up to them.
Mark 'em back. Tell 'em you won't associate with them until they lighten the f*ck up.
NO but seriously, you have my sympathies. Been there and it really sucks. I would continue what you are doing and find some real/genuine/unconditional friends.
Ah yes, the true love of witnesses. Always with parameters of their making. These are not friends, they are enemies in the making.
Get rid of them quick.
r.
I
Hi Zico:
Sorry to hear about this drama. I guess all I can do is echo what other people have already written. However, one other point that I would like to make is that I believe that this kind of treatment shows that Jehovahs Witnesses are indeed a cult. I know that many will disagree with me, but I think that the organization does have most of the characteristics. Yes, JWs do not have some of the characteristics more in line with the People's Temple, Heaven's Gate, and others. But the level of psychological manipulation, coecion, and using constant guilt and fear to control everyone and keep everyone in absolute conformity is a telltale sign of mind control.
When I finally admited to myself that I had been under the influence of a cult for 30 years, it made my recovery become easier. It also made it easier to understand the thinking and actions of the J-dubs who are still loyal. These are people who have lost their way and are now giving their hope, and allegience to a totalitarian and monolithic organization; not to God.
Seeing it from this perspective (even though many disagree with my assesment) may make your recovery easier. But, it still does not take away the pain that many of us must endure at the hands of this pseudo-Christian corporation. I wish you the best.
If these wqere real friends they would have spoken to you earlier about their concerns. Obviously they were talking about it among themselves and came to the decision to mark you.
Can you imagine your workmates telling you you can't go out with them after work because you hang out with JW's sometimes?
When your "friend" calls to confirm field service plans, tell him Tone wants to talk to him. When he says, Tone? Whose Tone. Tell him, dial-tone and loudly hang the phone up on his hypocritical ear.
There's a certain breed of JW - the "conscience matter" JW. You know the kind - they pay very close attention to what is written in the publications - not because they are Johnny-good-JW, but because they want to make sure that nothing that they do has ever been explicitly stated to be a judicial offense (and therefore not a "conscience matter"). These are the ones that go to the dance club on Saturday night and the KH the next morning without batting an eye, because they really don't grasp the fundamentalist spirit of the JW religion. They are JW's because that's what they've always been and that's what all their friends are and that's what their business associates are so they are careful to not do anything that would make them a subject of the JW judicial machinery, simply because their whole life revolves around JWism and they have never experienced nor even contemplated life outside the Tower walls. They are not strongly moralistic, they just know what they can and can't get away with and they conduct themselves accordingly.
Is this the kind of JW's your friends are? It is a big mistake to think that this breed of JW is more independent thinking or relaxed than your average JW. They absolutely are not - they are very protective of their status as a JW, and will act quickly and decisively towards anyone who they feel poses a threat to it.
The light keeps getting brighter and brighter for you does it not.
