hi, i just joined this site and thought i would say hi. My brief history is being raised as a witness, disfellowshiped for being a normal 17 year old, spending 10 years feeling guilty and thinking im going to die and so will my husband and son. mother and father in it and always run out crying because they think they failed as parents cause none of their kids stayed in it. last year i went to investigate,as i was feeling i would never overcome the bad feelings i have, and after 4 months of sitting up the back, they reinstated me. Just as i was realising what a crock it all is.lol
anyway, i went to 2 meetings and then an assembly with my parents, and at 28 years old , i felt like a child and their puppet , being dragged around meeting all these depressed people and hearing how hard their lives are. They told everyone i had beed d'd for 10 years and just came back,and everyone gave a fake smile and took a step backwards, as if i was a leppar. then my dad pointed out the elder that disfellowshipped me and gave me a look as if he had done justice,and my dad was happy. then my mum said because my husband is not a witness , ppl find it hard ,but i will find it harder, as i will be living a seperate life from him. the ppl on the stage said at one point, you cant trust anyone in the world so you mose well trust us , what have u got to lose. and everyone started clapping?? !#*!
the whole experience was a joke, and i left with the intention of never walking into a hall again. I felt a weight be lifted from my back and i finnally feel like a normal person with a propper personality and thought prosses. Not a zombie who cant think for himself, and not know why they feel the way they do. 1 year later, after no one noticed i never returned, i felt for my mum and dad cause they still get so upset. i never tell them how i really feel as i think it will hurt them, but i did recently and mum said if i meet some nice ppl that i might change my mind, so giving them the benifit of doubt i went to a meeting. I nearly had to stand up and say "are you all insane, what is wrong with u ppl." after i told one man that my hubbys mum said any religion is good for kids to get an education about it , we dont fight about it and he would let me take them to meetings,but would not want to come ,this man said,":well then you have to get into his mothers head then. " I was shocked, its all about culling for them, and i hated it.also all the mum s with young children were pushing prams out the back ,rolling their eyes ,and sayingt how hard it is. i thought it should be fun,that you should look forward to it and maybe like other religions they should cater for the kids, so they are not screaming to break free from the shackels.!! i told mum to make sure no one gets my address but i know some of them have seen me in my complex. I find it entertaining, and i think im a perfect candidate for a "mole". I wish dearly that my parents would see the real light, and finnally get alife instead of sitting on the couch waiting for arrmogedon.
sorry this turned into a long post