Can JW's have friends of the other sex?

by JH 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • JH
    JH

    We all know that JW's don't make friends out of their religion, but in the JW religion, can members have close friendship with the other sex?

    My experience in the Org. makes me say NO.

    I remember one cold winter, I was waiting for a brother in his driveway, and my car was warm, and his wife was waiting for someone to pick her up in front of her home, and since I waiting in the entrance waiting for her JW husband to come out of the house so that we could leave in my car, so I told the sister, his wife, who was waiting in the cold, to sit in my warm car while her lift arrives, so she finally sat in my car, but when her husband came out of the house and saw her in my car with me alone, although she was seated in the back, he told her, why are you alone with him.

    Gee, they both knew me since years, and we were good friends. She even cut my hair once every 2 months, but never when she was alone. She would tell me to come later in the day when the children would be home.

    She said, I trust you, but what will the neighbors say if they see you enter my home, when my husband's car isn't there...

    Back then, there was no internet. I wonder today if a single brother could chat with a single sister just as friends?

    If the elders found out, they would probably say that it's dangerous and could lead to sin....

    So, JW's can't have friends outside the org, and cannot have everyone as friends inside the org.

    Or, how about in the field service, when I had to do extra mileage to drive a sister back home first so that she wouldn't be alone with me in my car...

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    My experience suggests the same also; one of my closest friends when I was in was female and the 'counsel' we got about being together alone was stupid. Wouldnt mind but we didnt have the slightest of intentions of being anything other than friends.

    The stance taken by the WTS shows a complete lack of trust in its members in my view.

    DB74

  • liquidsky
    liquidsky

    I had a really good male friend within the congregation when I was 16-17 He is gay, although I did not know it at the time. No one in the cong. really had a problem with us being friends. We did everything together.. went to concerts,partied at the lake, talked to eachother everday on the phone... It was suprising actually that no one suspected anything especially since we lived in such a small town. Maybe its because they secretly knew he was gay?

  • Shooting Star
    Shooting Star

    In my experience and observation, it isn't really possible for anyone to be platonic friends. One or the other develops feelings... and the whole friendship is ruined! Now, as for JW's, it simply isn't allowed anyway...

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    I think the real question is, Can JW's have sex with other friends?

  • Dune
    Dune

    I had female friends in the org. I was pretty sure that if i wasnt so into the religion I would have committed Immorality with at least one of them. Her dad trusted me WAY too much. The main reason i didnt do anything was because i knew he trusted me and i'd felt ashamed. I do regret it now tho, lol. I've talked to alot of females witnesses online through blogs and myspace, we had a correspondance until I told them i left the org and all of them stopped talking to me. I didnt leave yet, but i just thought it would be easier to get rid of em early.

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    Can JW's have friends of the opposite sex? Not without unfounded rumors flying your way. This nice guy in my hall is close friends with a girl younger than him, and was subject to scrutiny and gossip for some time. The guy can't help it though; he never really had the chance to become close friends with too many people, so he took whatever friendship he could get.

    Since then he does more things with male friends, so the scrutiny has lessened somewhat.

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Yes in theory it is possible. In practice it would be frowned upon and not good

  • looseend
    looseend

    when i was in the org. it was hard to be friends with the opposite sex. i mean we had our little click but the gossip was crazy. i wasn't the best kid in the hall but for a while i was getting more ass then i was aware of. at one point i got a girl pregnant, so the rumor said. it was amazing i got into a little hot water according to the org. and next thing you know i was a predator. i guess i can see now that there isn't much to talk about when you are shoved into a shoebox of a social enviroment.

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Given the powerful attraction between the sexes they consider it inevitable or at least almost inevitable that if a man and a woman begin a friendship it will not remain on a platonic level. True enough when they meet genital union is always at the back of their minds.

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